Lying to Myself

Am I lying to myself?
Is it all just in my head?
Have I made it all up?
Or is my heart really dead?

Did I love in the first place?
Was it really true?
Did you really like me?
Or was the liar really you?

Have I lied to myself?
Was there anything ever there?
Am I still lying?
Is there love for me anywhere?

Now that it's all over,
Have I really left you behind?
Do I still love you?
Oh why do you have to be so kind!?

Why do I still feel you?
Feel your touch; know your voice?
Why are you still here?
I see your face and still rejoice. . .

If I lied before about my love for you,
Then why did I cry so hard?
Felt my heart rip apart?
And let down my guard?

Why did I pretend to myself?
Why at first did I not let you know?
Why did I wait 'til you loved another?
Why then did I still let you go?!?!?

Am I still lying?!?!
My heart is still aching!
Why don't you love me back?
Everything inside me is breaking!!!

Or is it?
I think I'm over you,
Or am I lying once more???
Everything's a lie, and I blame you!