'HOME'
(Sat on own in a quiet room)
As I sit here I feel like myself, I can do and say what I want and it won't
hurt anyone, [looks away] except myself.
(Fade to black)
(Sat in bedroom in the dark)
Sitting up here gives me time and space to think. I like thinking, can't
help thinking; saves me from hearing her day over and over. She doesn't
listen to me; never does, never has.
Don't know my dad he left when I was two or three. Don't know where he
lives, if he's alive. Not allowed any contact, always been like that.
[Looks outside] Schools good. I look at 'normal' families and wonder what
it's like to have someone who cares about you. I see other kids playing, I
think about going.
(Fade to black)
(Pitch black. Middle of the night. Small amount of light from window)
Couldn't sleep.
We have to move I don't understand what's going on. She won't tell me.
I have a bad feeling.
(Fade to black)
(In bedroom)
I kept asking her why we have to move. She says, "because we have to; now
don't ask any more."
I hate it when she's not honest. I know something's wrong.
But what?
[Starts to cry]
(Fade to black)
(In bedroom)
When I came home from school she said we have somewhere else to live and
we're moving tomorrow.
What? Where? Why? I asked all she said was get packing.
So here I am. Just finished packing. That's my life [Nods towards one black
bin bag] there.
(Fade to black)
(Strange new room, New home)
Well, this is it. One room; shared bathroom in a council hostel. This means
I can't get away from her. It's plain, boring; looks dirty and has a musty,
mining smell.
I have nothing here.
(Fade to black)
("Home")
Been here two weeks. Not as bad as could be. I don't talk to anyone; barely
talk to her, she goes about each day as if nothings changed [pauses] but it
has.
I can't talk to anyone, I don't trust anyone.
I have to do everything. I hate it.
(Fade to black)
(Small office, open, light)
School doesn't know I've moved. School doesn't know a lot of things about
me. What do they know? They know I'm an only child, who lives with a single
mother.
[Focus on folder on table]
That's my school record. I'm not normally bad, [pause] they're calling
mother in. I hit a kid, and they want to get to the bottom of it.
(Fade to black)
(Another strange room)
I'd been waiting for about an hour, when a police car pulled round to the
main entrance. I didn't think anything of it. Another fifteen minuets past
when they came out with my teacher, they were headed towards me.
"What have I done? What's going on?" were the questions running through my
head as they approached.
They took me back into school to tell me they had some bad news.
The policewoman was very kind to me. She said I wasn't alone and people can
help, and people know how I feel. But how can someone know how I feel, they
are not ME.
(Fade to black)
(In new bedroom)
When I'm supposed to be doing homework I just stare out of the window into
the big wide world.
(Fade to black)
(Staring out of the bedroom window)
This is what I do most of the time; well at least I have someone who cares
for me. I was invited to a party today, I do have some friends now but they
don't know the real me.
(Fade to black)
(Dim light. Early morning. By railway track. No one on set only the voice)
Today is my day.
The day you die
Is the day you die inside.
Do you ever stop to notice
What you did inside
That person or this person.
Think about it,
The answer's no
I guess.
There was no point to my life
I had already died.
I died the day she killed herself.
I guess daughters do follow
In their mother's footsteps.
I know I won't be remembered
As me.
No one knew me.
They knew no one.
Watching people as I write this they don't know what I am about to do.
(Blackout)
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