I stood, not tall, and certainly not proud, but yet I stood. I had to; I felt it was my debt too, even if it meant being face to face with the end of a gun barrel. What a nice mess I made for myself. Out of all the messes I've gotten myself into, I've never experienced one so hard, so dangerous. I've always been the smart one, the quick and the witty one, but not this time. Oh no, this time I went too far. This time, I was surely going to die.

I suppose your wondering what I'm talking about, or why I'm even contemplating on such bizarre things when there's no evident reason as to why. To you I'm sure this seems more as a nightmare then anything else. I too stand here picking my brain to that conclusion; knowing this is going to be the last time I do this.

It all started with Brian Chambers, he was too much of a challenge for me to pass up. Looking back now, I hate myself for being the slut I was. Everyone I talked to though, whether it was in the school hallways or at Charlie's Pizza, they'd all say, "You can't get him Carrie, he's got too much good in his blood." Ha! I was one of Harlem's biggest hoes', I was only sixteen and could practically bed any guy I please. If they said he was as tough as he was, then Brian was surely worth my time. Oh, if I only knew the surprise I was in for.

Slowly but surely, I befriended Brian, he knew from the start my purpose, but he let me come. He was full of many surprises, like how he would always offer me a ride, or to buy me a drink. I found this quiet strange, because in Harlem the only thing a guy would offer you is his money for your body. I soon began to find myself wondering to what made him tick, what made him so nice, so different? Why was such a pretty boy like him living in the Ghetto? I was taken by a huge surprise when Brian told me he lived in Harlem all his life. Seventeen years and he survived! Someone with Brian's personality would have been surely ran through with a knife by now.
I'm not quite sure what happened, but after a month or so ago, I began to tell Brian of my past and all of the pain and horror it contained. I grew up as an only child, my mother a horrid drunk and my father an abusive drug dealer, it's because of them I hate drugs and alcohol. Often after my dad got home from "work", he'd be high and my house would turn into the pit of hell. I have bruises and cuts all over me because of my father's horrid rage. That's how I had become such a slut, because I was trying to find love. How typical scenario that was. I bitterly had told Brian that I had lost all hope in finding any, and that I only worked the streets now because it had become such an addiction, and it brought in good money. He protested again that though, that I could find love and that it wasn't far. That same night he told me something I was probably never ready for.

He was a Holy Roller.
For once, in my dark, dismal, dirty life, I found myself truly scared. Most of my friends hated "Do-gooder Christians", and I had one time to many seen my so called "lovers" brutally kill these kind of people; beating in their faces with heavy metal crow bars, sticking gas pipes down their throats and wait until the pipe or gas suffocated them, or slit their throat. My first instinct was to forget about Brian; to turn back and say "Never again!" but how did I know I'd soon believe in Jesus Christ as my savior?

God used Brian to open my eyes and to show me his grace and mercy. I'm not sure what Brian said that changed my mind, but all I know that I'm eternally grateful that God entered into my life. I was so grateful that I went around telling others about the newfound freedom that God had bestow on me. That's how Will O'Brien found out.
Will was more then convinced that Brian had brainwashed me, and was bloodthirsty for him. That's why I'm here now, standing between him and Brian; protecting the man I love.

As I said earlier, I may stand here, not tall, and not proud, but that's only cause I'm ashamed of my past, but I look on the bright side that Jesus loves me anyway, and that he's forgiven me.

I better hold me breath, because he's about to pull the trigger.