If you were to study me,
What would you see?
Awkward and insecure,
Crooked smile and long eyelashes.
Sins and secrets,
That my eyes are too dark to reveal.
They haunt me,
And shame creeps up from my collar like blush.
From the curls of my hair,
To the polish of my nails,
I wonder..
If you wonder,
If you remember the way I fixed you with the most intense stare I could
muster.
My jaw tight, my shoulders hunched.
They all brushed me off their arms,
Like a mosquito.
At times, even you.
But other times, were the better ones.
Where you let me rest on your forearm, and sip your blood.
Your haiku eyes,
Mocked and questioned me as you brushed against my skin on your way past.
What I need, now, is an honest answer.
Why didn't you let me know?
My heart is pounding in my throat,
And I can't swallow it down.
Smile at me, one last time.
From the strength of your arms,
To the blue of your eyes,
You breathe quietly, chest rising and falling.
You studied me, maybe.
My insecurity.
And my heart sang of angels,
When you loved what I created.
And never knew it was a painting of you.
I watched you lick your lips.
And I watched your throat as you swallowed.
But I looked away when your cheek pressed against hers.
And she had your scent all over her.
And she ruled the world.
I would love to touch you,
Or at least know if you would have loved to feel me.
At night I slept on my knees,
With my hands folded in prayer.
That maybe she couldn't have such a hold on you.
Then you left that place.
The school of memories,
And I had no reason to stay.
I feel your eyes, even though you're not looking,
And everything I touch turns to dust.
I don't think I'll see you again.
I do think I'll move on.
But from the curls of my hair,
To the blues of your eyes,
For God's sake, I'll never forget you.