California held his dreams in the palm of its hand

like rotted apple blossoms

and I stood by and watched

the free fall.

I swim across the rivers of phone lines that bring me your voice every night

yet I am never satisfied

somewhere lost between this place and that.

California makes him yell

he screams at me in frustration

and I hang my head low.

I never claimed to understand all of this

or why

I've stuck around

when I know that you have a blonde in that sunny state.

I know!

I'm a beast

and I can detect her voice in yours

and smell her kisses from the words you say to me.

Had he forgotten what I said:

I love you

but I can't go with you.

California makes him forget

that I'm here waiting

swallowing my pride

and realizing that this is so typical.

California held his dreams in the palm of its hand

like rotted apple blossoms

but I stopped watching long ago.