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Random Bouts of Randomness
By an equally random author known to others as RedLady.
Summary: A collection of random stories with random events inside them which may or may not have any connection to anything. Despite all that, these stories still have a plot... Beware of talking animals, ghosts, falling objects and/or people, volatile outbursts. Let the craziness ensue...
Warning: This is an extremely random story. Read at your own risk. Not for those with possible weak body parts of any kind.
Red gets trapped in a computer.
Don’t try so hard…
First we have RedLady. (You already know her… or not)
Second is Him-san. A guy who always copies RedLady.
Then we have Yomi, the ladies man, who doesn’t act like one in this show so why are we telling you this?
Lastly, we have Kirie… sort of RedLady’s counterpart.
These are our contestants for the competitive game show: “Who wants to be stuck in a computer for five million dollars!” (Disclaimer: Five million dollars do not exist)
And now on with the show…
We find RedLady together with her friend Him-san. (Cuz that’s what she calls him… Him)
It all started when RedLady grunted.
Then Him-san grunted.
RedLady grunted again.
And so did Him-san.
“You copier.” RedLady accused.
“I didn't think Redlady could be copied.” Yomi, one of Red’s other friends said.
In response to that statement, Him-san began copying and pasting RedLady everywhere. “Yup, I am her copier.” Him-san said still pasting Red everywhere.
“That's a lot of pasting...” RedLady mentioned. “I'm being copied and pasted... so why do I feel so... violated!”
“MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!” Him-san laughed but then stopped copying and pasting because Microsoft decides to make up a new Critical Error.
“OH NO!!” Red yelled. (Thus the capital letters.) “MY PROCESSEES CAUSED A CRITAL ERROR!!! MAYDAY MAYDAY!!! I'M ABOUT TO CRASH!!!! HELP, I'M STUCK INSIDE THE COMPUTER!!! SHUT DOWN!! ABORT!!! REBOOT!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...”
glip.
Kirie looked at her computer which had just gone glip. She scratched her head and scooted closer to the screen. She tilted her head and knocked on the screen. She wasn’t scared yet because a blue screen had yet to come up. Instead the screen was all black. What was she to do? The camera panned backwards as Kirie disappeared into the background just in time for a commercial break.
“Does Kirie have a critical error?” Yomi commentated. “Could this be the end of Redlady? Has she been copied and pasted too much? Will the cookies I'm baking be done soon? Tune in next time. Same Red time, Same Red channel.”
(And we skip all the commercials cuz they’re not random enough.)
“Hello and welcome back.” This time it was Him-san who commentated.
”Last time on RedTV, (hahaha..EDTV..) We were faced with a critical error due to excessive copying and pasting of Red...What will happen next?”
Kirie’s face turned white as she saw some words upon the black screen that blinked...Critical Error.
“CRITIAL ERROR!” Kirie yelled. “AHHH!” She yelled bashing her face into the keyboard over and over again. “Why RED, why?!” She cried as everything shut down.
RedLady who meanwhile had found herself stuck behind a glass wall and banged upon it. “Help me!!!” She yelled like a fly caught in a spider web. Then she stopped and looked at the camera oddly. “Why do I feel like I'm having a .hack moment? Not that I know what that means or anything.” She wondered as she had never seen anything called .hack and didn’t know for sure if she was indeed having a .hack moment or not.
”BUT HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!” She went back to knocking on the glass wall that was the monitor screen. “I THINK I MAY BE STUCK INSIDE THE COMPUTER SCREEN!!! Somehow...” She said not at all sure how she got there.
She looked around and decided to pass the time by talking to herself. “Why is it all black in here? Oh wait here’s another color.” She said stepping forward and then screamed the loudest she had ever screamed before.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” She gasped and almost lost her soul.
”It's the blue screen of death.” She worded facing said blue screen.
“No one has ever faced the blue screen of death before...and lived.” Yomi mentioned. But then he turned into tech support guy. “Is there a warning on it? With a prompt to press any key. Even though you press a key it doesn't go away!” He said back out of tech support guy costume.
”OH NO! WHAT EVER SHALL WE DO?!” Kirie yelled.
static No you do not need to adjust your computer set... er... your monitor... static. This is your computer... speaking to you... static. ok ok... static It's just RedLady... INSIDE your computer. Static. She wants to know if you will... static. LET ME OUT!?!!??!?!!?!
”Somehow... please? Help?”
A fly buzzed by, “zzst!”
“I’ll get you out!” Kirie assured and grabbed the computer monitor and ripped it off the desk. Yomi and Him-san looked on in horror as she raised the heavy monitor above her head and threw it down on the ground.
“You’ll hurt RedLady that way!” Him-san fretted. “Well… maybe.” He said changing his mind.
“Hmm… This wasn’t in the manual.” Yomi said looking through the yellow pages.
The monitor crashed into the ground in slow motion and then in the blink of an eye, RedLady popped out like a hooded girly out of the chopped up granny wolf.
“RedLady!” Kirie yelled. “You’re alive!” She hugged her.
“Yay!” Him-san cheered. “Let’s do it again!” He said getting ready to copy and paste RedLady all over again.
“No!” Both RedLady and Kirie yelled at the same time.
“We thought you were in the pc part and not the monitor.” Yomi said. “Was it a person snatching monitor?”
“Yeah!” RedLady said kicking the broken monitor. “It kidnapped me!” She said.
“All thanks to me!” Him-san said proudly only to be chomped on by RedLady.
“Hey.” He chomped back.
“So what do you want to do next episode?” Yomi said taking out a notebook.
“Whatever it is, let it have nothing to do with computers.”
“Your computer will now self destruct in 7 days.” A voice said from the pc.
“WHAT!”
“I knew I shouldn’t have watched that DVD on the computer.” Him-san groaned.
“I told you not to use my computer without permission!” RedLady yelled.
“Well at least it won’t happen until 7 days leaving us plenty of time to send it to the landfill.” Kirie mentioned.
“Computer’s have graveyards these days.” Yomi argued.
“I’m sorry. Your computer will self destruct in seven minutes! Please evacuate the premises.” The voice said as a red light blinked upon the pc.
“What happened to the seven days!” Kirie yelled.
“Wow, seven days went by fast.” Yomi joked.
“Self destruction in seven seconds.” The computer voice said.
“What!” Yomi wondered.
“AH!” Him-san and Kirie freaked.
“I MUST CUT THE RED WIRE!” RedLady yelled. The show 24 played in the background. “But it would be like cutting myself!” She seconded. “But such self destructive behavior is against my pain receptors! What do I do?”
“Code word “pain receptors” accepted. Self Destruction turned off.” The computer voice said.
“Would you look at that? Yomi said.
“What were the odds that pain receptors was the code word?” Him-san seconded.
“RedLady, your weird ways have saved us once again.” Kirie nodded.
“Way to go RedLady!” Yomi cheered.
“I don’t even know what’s going on.” RedLady said shaking Yomi’s hand.
“Neither do we.” Yomi said.
“And I bet no one in the audience gets it either.” Kirie said looking at you who is reading this.
“Oh yeah?” Him-san said also looking at the audience. “I get it.”
“Oh yeah!” RedLady argued back.
“Yeah!”
“Well I do too!” She yelled.
“But you just said…”
And thus this concludes today’s episode of Whatever you’d like to call this show. Next up is Whatever you’d like to call that show. Thank you for watching Whatever you’d like to call this channel. Provided by our sponsors Whatever you’d like to buy from us. Whatever. Just… Whatever.
And now for something completely different.
Not.
This show has been sponsered by the Digital Anime forums. A forum in which the characters listed above are no longer active members of. Digital Anime: A place for imagination. (Can I get paid now?)
