Okay, I read over what I had written and I found this story was moving too quickly and seemed really unrealistic, so I decided to re-write it. I hope you like it and if you do read it please review and tell me what you think because I really need constructive criticism. Thank you - Psychotically Obsessed

Chapter One

Life. Spirit. Soul. Heaven.

All those things people are told in church, it never seems to be true at that moment. The moment you know that you are walking the thin line between life and death and will eventually fall and leave the world you’ve known so well to go into another, one full of great light or great darkness.

For me, it happened quite quickly, like one moment I’m being forced cook and sew and the next moment I’m lying on a battlefield dying. Yet that alteration seemed to take so long. Like time was going in slow motion while everything else was whirling past me.

It all started three years ago, my journey to death’s door. Back then I was so innocent. I mean, I knew bad things were happening in the world, but none of it affected me so it didn’t seem to be real. It didn’t seem to matter. As long as I had my perfect, protected little world I didn’t care about anything or anyone else.

Yes that sounds selfish, but its true. I was selfish and spoilt and I didn’t seem to care about anyone else, but that was the way I was brought up. You see I was the daughter of a noble, so I was treated like royalty by practically everyone. My mother spoilt me rotten by giving me all the jewels; silks and exotic ornaments money could buy. She also taught me that I was above everyone else, save the royal family and a few exclusive nobles. And growing up with that being the only influence upon me, I believed it. I loved my life, I loved being better than everyone else and having people treat me like a queen, but my life wasn’t perfect. My father had been so disappointed when he discovered that I was a girl. He grew even more disappointed when my mother eventually lost the ability to give birth without having bore any more children. Specifically when she hadn’t given him a male heir. So my father was so determined to marry me off to a rich, high-powered noble worthy of inheriting our property. And I didn’t like that thought. I didn’t want to marry a man and become his ‘property’. I didn’t want someone to have more power over me. I suppose I just didn’t want to sit behind someone for my entire life, raising his children and having no power inside my own house. I was trapped into this powerful life of boredom and there was nothing I could do to escape it. A woman must marry a man or her reputation would be tarnished, tarnishing the reputation of her family along with it. And my father wouldn’t want his reputation ruined over my happiness. I guess that was part of them reason I took the first opportunity to leave when it came.

It was summertime when the war started. War was nothing unusual, as it was continually occurring. There were wars over petty things like money or property; of course I didn’t think these wars petty while they were occurring. Money and property were the most important things in life, along with power of course. In fact, the only reason this war was of any interest to me was because of magic.

In our land, magic was a forbidden subject. Something that was just not to be spoken of, which was why everyone was so shocked when there was a war about it. Some magic users, magicians, and quite strong ones at that, decided that magic shouldn’t be tabooed and decided to rebel against the society that had made them outsiders for so long.

There were many rumours, which spread throughout the Kingdom in relation to the war. Even now I’m not quite sure which of them contain actual truth, but at the time I must say that I found a number of them to be quit entertaining. There was one story, which I found to be especially fascinating. There was talk of prophecies. Some say that this war was prophesized to happen and that a brave maiden who was cursed with the gift to bring ‘bad luck’ would rescue them. I found this really interesting because our town was known for its bad luck, not that any of it affected me of course, but even I knew of it. That’s why the story was so widely spoken of in our town, because the people believed that if it were true, this girl would have to be here. There was nowhere else she could be from.

However, apart from my interest in this particular story, the war was of no interest to me. I was too preoocupied with my own life, my own problems. It was in the later months of sumemer that I found myself losing my own freedom. My father began to worry that I would never marry as I had already reached the age of seventeen and no apropriate suitor had approached me. So, in hope to make me more appealing, he forbid me to leave the manor unless it was to go to social events, which single noblemen would attend. I was to stay indoors and further perfect my ‘womanly’ abilities such as sewing and dressign and acting like proper nobility. All in all it was rather boring. My summers were usually spent at the markets, gossiping with friends, flirting with the country boys and such. Or I would go riding on the property or some less ‘womanly’ activities, which my father never heard of, such as swimming in our lake.

It wasn’t until mid-autumn that my father actually allowed me to leave the house. This was after I had made dozens of tapestries and attended numerous parties filled with boring nobles and rich, arragant noblemen whom I was expected to smile and dance with while listening to their tales which wer usually self-centred and boring. And I was expected to marry one of these men? I know I sound so hipocritical criticizing them or being like this, when I was exactly the same way, but I didn’t know that then, so I allowed myself to hate them, and knew in my heart I would never marry one of them, despite my fathers wishes.

Anyway, in mid-authum my father let me go down to the marketplace as a treat, which I relished in. I wore my nicest dress –his choice not mine – and I went down to the markets with one of my maids. It was good. I got to breath some fresh air, see all the foods and ribbons and silks they were selling, and generally enjoy the atmosphere that the markplace held. I got to see what all the other girls were wearing, as I had been trapped inside the manor for so long I didn’t even know what was in fashion any more.

After I had been there for a few hours I ran into a good friend of mine Celeste. Celeste also happened to be a noble (all of my friends were) and immediately gushed over me. The second she saw me she came and grabbed me into a tight embrace telling me how much she had missed me and that the market was never the same when I wasn’t there. She also excitedly showed me her finger, which now held and engagement ring. She was getting engaged to the son of a higher noble, Jeremy, who was supposedly quite handsom and kind. I squealed in excitement with her and gushed over the ring. Honestly, I was glad for her. I was just glad that it was her, not me. I would rather attend my flustered and excited friend’s big fancy wedding, then attend my own. The more I thought about it the more I wished passionately that I wasn’t a woman. Sure, men were rougher and weren’t gushed upon and pampered like women, but they had something I would never have. They had a choice. They could inherit their nobility and property without marrying. And it would be their poperty. I would just get to sit there and watch my husband run my property and my life. I would just be a witness to my own life.

This was the first epiphany I had about my life. It was the first time I realized that I was a rich, spoilt noblewoman, but maybe it wasn’t the life I wanted. I know it was Celeste’s dream to marry a rich, high-powered man and live happily ever after, but was it my dream? I’d spent my entire life being told that my biggest dream would be marrying a rich man and living a wealthy life, so it was quite surprising that I got these thoughts. Now, of course, I know it wasn’t surprising, it was fate. My entire life had been for a reason and now I know that I was suppsoed to get that ephiphany because it was the first step to the direction my life would eventually lead in.

“Why do I have to do this?” She asked them, though she already knew the answer.. “Tell the story of my life, I mean.”

“Because.” Bella, one of her best friends replied, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You know how we all died. We need to know how you died.”

“Do you really?” She said, her eyes begging them not to make her do this. To look back on that day, the day that she died. To look abck on it all brought back so many memories she didn’t wand to remember.

“Honey.” Bella told her. “You are not a typical angel. You’re not like us.” Bella waved her hand to indicate to the other five in the room. “We all died in simple ways. And we’ve all told those stories in overly detailed ways, but we’ve still told them. All you’ve told us is your death was a result of war. You were killed by a merciless enemy and you need to come to terms with that.”

She nodded, tears starting to form in her eyes. If only that had been my death. That wouldn’t have been as painful.

“I mean, Charlotte” Bella continued, unaware of the thoughts running through her head. “It’s been over a hundred years, not that time really works here. Heaven is timeless.”

Charlotte nodded knowing Bella was right. She had never once mentioned her death. She tried not to even think about it, to pretend it never happened. Like it was a dream she once had. Charlotte also knew that denying the truth was keeping her from true happiness. That she could never be free until she embraced her past, accepted it.

Charlotte closed her eyes and found a painful image creep into her mind. It was a girl, dressed completely in black her hair also incredibly dark which contrasted to her skin, making it appear paler than moonlight. The blood shone brightly, tainting her with its crimson colour. The girl was looking strong but couldn’t hide the tears streaking her cheeks. She looked around as she was surrounded by people she just saved.

Charlotte opened her eyes, and felt somewhat calmer. She knew she had to do this. She had to tell them. It would hurt, but it wasn’t her choice anymore. Fate had decided to step in yet again. It had told her that embracing her past was the only way to be truly happy.

“Shall I continue?”