Life stinks. It really does. Why does life stink? Hello! Look at my life! I guess it all started when I found out that my dust bunny had died. Yeah, that's it. I was at school. I had just aced a test and was elated. I had skipped class, ran home, all excited to my parents, and WHAM! I was hit with the news of Buddy. Buddy had been my dust bunny , forever. Well, maybe only a year, but that was forever for a dust bunny!

I had nurtured him since he born. I carefully provided all of his needs; mainly making sure my parents didn't dust or vacuum my room. It was a difficult responsibility, but I guess I did ok. I arrived home to hear vacuuming upstairs. I dropped everything, left the door wide open and tore up the stairs toward my room. Sure enough my mother was in there vacuuming.

"BUDDY!" I cried. My mother quizzically turned toward me with a puzzled expression on her face. "You murderer! Why Buddy?" My cries went on and on,

Since my mother had no idea why I was upset, she couldn't comfort me. Some maternal instincts. I thought mothers were supposed to know why their children are upset. Nope, not mine. Somewhere along the blood line, something went terribly wrong.

Buddy was just the beginning. After that, I got called down to the principal's office for cutting class. I said there was an emergency at home. My pet had died and I had to comfort my parents.

They asked how I knew my pet had died. I cited "maternal instincts." They weren't impressed. Anyway, they called my parents and told them I had cut class. Then they asked if my parents had heard of Buddy. Well, my mother mentioned me wailing about Buddy for two hours, so I was off the hook there but they still had to punish me for skipping class. So I was still in trouble.

Guess who has detention? Little innocent me! My pet did die! Why doesn't anyone believe me?

Well, I faithfully served my detention and head over to the funeral home. Buddy was the best dust bunny I had ever owned and he deserved something better than a dirty, dusty, vacuumy grave. He deserved the best!

I finally arrived at the Hickory Lane Funeral Home. So creative right? I started talking with the dude who was in charge. I told him about Buddy, my dust bunny. He gave me a look and a business card. I tried to talk to him about funeral arrangements. Told him how Buddy was my best friend and all that, but he wouldn't listen.

"Listen, kid," he says. Listen kid? Is that all he has to say? He's supposed to comfort me and tell me how Buddy will get the best treatment ever .I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER! Buddy deserves some respect. So everyone shape up and give him some respect!

After the dude at Hickory Lane Funeral Home called the police because I refused to leave, the police called my parents. So now, I have detention, I'm grounded for "spreading lies and antagonizing the funeral home dude," and Buddy still didn't have his funeral.

The judge decided I needed to come here, doctor, said you could help me figure it out. What can you do? You're just someone who will laugh at me ad say Buddy doesn't exist, never has, never will. Don't do that. Buddy was my best friend, my only friend. Nothing you say will change that.
Life really does.