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Sacrificing myself for the good of others.
I never thought of myself,
Only everyone else.
I believed I was incapable of evil,
Of malicious acts,
Of wanton destruction,
And of the desire to ensue pain.
I'd forgive all,
Even those people who had wronged me.
But I never stopped to think why I would.
I was once a being of purity,
But all that changed.
A single betrayal made me question 'why'.
Why did I choose to help others and not myself?
It was because I was in pain.
My soul ached.
I chose to help others to forget my pain.
And after I found my reason the pain had gone.
But then I was betrayed.
My reason for existence was stolen from me,
Stolen because of the ignorance of others.
They very ones I had tried to help turned on me.
They pierced my very soul with a dagger through the back.
It nearly killed me.
I survived, but the pain returned.
Anger and hatred built up in me.
Once a being of purity,
I knew that the only thing that fueled me now was rage.
I had nothing else but that.
I tried to cling on to my old self.
I struggled to do good,
But now I was no longer naïve.
I knew I was capable of heinous acts.
The darkest of evils is born from the brightest lights.
It frightens me now that I have this dark hole inside me.
A festering black tar of inequities.
And I am alone to deal with it.
Those whom I offered aid offer none in return.
I hate them.
Yet I love them.
I struggle to show compassion.
In front of them I must now wear a mask.
But alone in the shadows I must confront my true self.
I was once a being of purity,
But now I am also a tool of my own hatred.