A long, long, time ago... well, not THAT long ago, because then everything was really hot, and the highest form of life was a sort of bacteria. What we mean is that it was a long time ago, but not THAT long ago. Okay? Good.
Anyway, ways back then, Eight Diamonds were created. These were made into rings, so Eight more were created. These were not to be melted into rings unless one paid a royalty fee. Not the royalty fee you and I know, I mean the one THEY knew of. Only royalty could pay those fees, and nobody wanted those diamonds anyway; they were SO unstylish.
But back to the actual diamonds. Each of the eight had a unique, albeit stupid, power they gave to whomever possessed them. They were sealed away in Eight Temples, however, so that nobody had to see how stupid the powers were. And trust me, Narrator, they were VERY stupid powers.
One day, though, an evil man by the name of Luthrius sought to reveal the powers to the entire world. Not wanting to see such a moronic spectacle, the people of the world asked Prophecy-Maker-Guy to make a prophecy that Luthrius would not succeed. He did so, and now, the prophecy shall be fulfilled... hopefully.

Ozymandias gazed at the city of Unokoto, Granbia. Sighing, he walked down the path toward it. He knew they wouldn't accept him. He was infamous. Still, it was as fresh a start as he could get. He entered the city gates and walked to the market place. Setting up his stall, he prayed he wouldn't mess up this time.

Kinjumi saw a sign reading the following:

Are you a suicidal idio- I mean, do you think you're one of the fabled Waffle Warriors? To prove it, you need the following:
Four people stupi- I mean, brave enough to join
Sexy abs
Waffles of Destiny
And, above all: A general lack of common sense.

Do you qualify? Sign up toady at the um... sign-up... place... thingy... yeah... Look, just stop reading this, please?

I think me qualify. Kinjumi thought. However, as he knew there weren't enough, he set up a stand for signing up for the Waffle Warrior quest.

Ozy wasn't having much luck. Nobody visited his stand, called “Ozymandias Can Do Anything; Try and Prove Him Wrong!”
Finally, though, after waiting for hours, a mage came to the stand. “So, you're the infamous Ozymandias, eh?...”