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As Always

Buzzing whirling movement
Surrounds me

A rush of sound
Engulfs me

Flashing colours
Entrance me

And yet
I am immune

Meaningless gestures
a handshake
a companionable hug

No love or intimacy
No comfort in the arms of another

Simply.
cold

A numb feeling
Spreads from my heart
It consumes me

I stand
As always
In the middle of a vibrant world
Unattainable
To the likes of me

Why?
Why am I here?
What did I do to deserve this?

The flashing colours continue
The sound and movement endure
And still
I am alone