"Ouch! Bloody hell, what was that for!?"

"Just shut up!"

"Well when you slam a chap's face into the wall and hit in the back of the head with something, he's going to yell at you!"

"This is a gun! Now drop your bloody shorts!"

"Wait, wait. Is this a rape?"

"Bloody effing hell, yes! This is a rape and a mugging! Now drop your shorts so I can bugger your arse and take your money!"

"So you're a prostitute?"

"What?!"

"Well, I'm giving you quid when you give me sex, correct?"

"You are not giving me quid, I'm taking it, and I'm not giving you sex, either!"

"Well, then I guess you should hurry up and shag me, eh? Would you mind using some lube and a rubber? I've got them right here in my pocket."

"Are you bloody caned?!"

"You can't be too safe with all the things travelling around now days, you know. I'm only taking a basic safety precaution that any bloke ought to take before a shag. So there you are. Get ready."

"Oooh, you got a bloody nice dish there."

"Oh, well, thank you. I do try. I work out."

"It shows. That's the best arse I've seen in a while."

"Aren't you a flatterer? Could you please hurry? I'm getting a bit antsy. It's been quite a while since I've had a good shag."

"Ok........ Umph! Gosh you're tight."

"Mmmmmmmmmmm, it's a gift."

"So, urgh, your a pretty nice looking chap. Nrrrrrrrrrrrfffffggh, How come you aren't getting more?"

"Well, OH! My girl left me about 8 months ago. Said I wasn't YYESSSSSS man enough for her so she left. Hoooooooo, I've just been too (moan) torn up about to get out there since. YEAH!!!!"

"Was the bint UNH! nuts? Argh!!"

"Oh!! She, uh, ended up, uh, being, uh, a, um uh, carpet-muncher. UH!!"

"Ain't that the (grunt) way. My sis ended up (GROAN) the same way."

"Really? OooooooooooooAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!"

"........."

"........."

"...............uh."

"Well then...."

"So, erm....."

"Have you got a fag I could bum of you?"

"Oh, yes. Do you need a light?"

"Yes. ..........Thanks."

"Soooo..........."

"Soooo..........."

"That was pretty nice."

"Yes, yes it was."

"......."

"Want to get together sometime?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'd, uh, like that a lot, actually."

"Well, here's my number and you can give me a ring sometime. Alright."

"Sounds good. Well, see then."

"Yes. See you later."