As I walk out the door
On my face
A smile is pasted.
Pushed out of the way
Into the corner
Are the bad thoughts
My true feelings.
I turn happy rainbow
And greet the people
Who claim to be my friends.
That's how they expect
Me to be:
Happy and full of joy
Without a care.
When I get home
My honest feelings
Crawl out of the corner
And come at me.
I'm drowning in them
They smother me
Until I cant think.
Despair,
Worthlessness,
All of that sort
Lay over me as a blanket.
They surround me
Making me hate myself
And everything that's good.
It's then
At home
At night
When I'm alone
In my room
That the blade comes out
To pierce my skin
And make me bleed
That tension away.
Drifting off to sleep
I am overwhelmed
With realization
Of all the hate
That exists in my life.
I cry.
The next day
As I walk out the door
The happy face
Is put on
And the honesty
Is shoved into the corner
Until I'm alone again
And I can let it out
And be true....