Ushinawareta Tsubasa (Lost Wings)

By Phiare

CLAIMER:  I own. This applies throughout the entire story) The lyrics at the end of each song are from Sarah Mclachlan – Angel (from the album Surfacing), which was my background music while writing this.

ONE. World’s Awakening

            The sun crept over the mountains ever so slowly as if it were still drowsy, unwilling to star the morning. I was alert long before the sun rose, of course, as I always was.

                “Tsubasa, I heard your match-up is being announced this evening.” My roommate Hajime strolled up to the large window in the cabin he and I were sharing. The cabin was far from eye pleasing, but the window was my favorite.

                It was not really a window, but more like a hole in the wooden walls. A board protruded inwards, and with my relatively small form, I could sit in the frame often. The view was breath taking and startling at once. I never knew there was a world beyond the small village I grew up in, and suddenly I was such a large part of the other world.

                “Yes. The festival for who I will fight will be tonight.” I looked up at Hajime with a smile that suited a young boy’s innocence. Hajime noticed this in me too.

                “You really shouldn’t have come, Tsubasa.” His tone of voice was slightly concerned. He was nearly half as big as I was, and there were men a great deal bigger in the tournament. “You could’ve just stayed at home and gotten a respectable job as a sword smith, you know.”

                “I chose to come on my own accord.” I found myself replying automatically. I was used to these questions. I was sixteen years old, the minimum age of entry, and I was only five foot five. I weighed about the same weight as a grown woman and was the scrawniest thing you’d find for miles around.

                “You realize you could die.” Hajime’s eyes clearly said, “You’ll die.”

                Sighing and folding my arms over my stomach, I looked up at him. “I will be fine.”

                Hajime was young, but nearly a decade older than I was. He was twenty-five, but he stood at six foot five and I didn’t even want to know how much he weighed. He had won all of the match-ups he had been in so far, but I had yet to be in even one.

                That was how the tournament worked. Everything was by fate. Three months ago, I was training in a town near my village. While walking along the path, I saw a flier on a rogue tree. It was for a town not far from my home, so I ran there and got the information for the tournament. I had my own reasons for joining, just as everyone else. I didn’t feel I needed to divulge the information to every curious stranger.

                Hajime sighed, knowing I would ignore his pleads for me to drop out of the tournament. I felt sorry for worrying him so. He was like an older brother to me after two months of rooming with him. I was lucky enough to not have to fight any fights yet, while others like Hajime had already fought the maximum of three. Most of those who entered as jokes had been eliminated and the weak were weeded out. My scheduled fight would be inevitable, for in order to pass into the following round, you must win at least one round.

I only had one chance. I had to win.

                Hajime had lost the first two. He barely survived to win the third one, his last chance. I watched him as he swept his long dark hair into a haphazard ponytail.

                “Doesn’t your hair get in the way?” I asked nonchalantly, aware that my own hair had grown out into shaggy, uneven ends by now.

                “Au contraire, it’s very stylish.” Hajime grinned. He looked like such a brute; you’d expect him to be loitering with some other thugs around an alley in the city. It was humorous to see him talk about culture at all. I grinned in response, but we were silent for a moment. He sat down casually, and with his height, he could see over my form in the window. We watched the sun finally break over the mountains and bring life to the area with its fiery light.

You are born from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here…

This sweet madness

Or this glorious sadness

That brings me to my knees

TRANSLATIONS (for entire story)

Ushinawareta Tsubasa: Lost Wings

Murasaki Tenshi: Purple Angel
Tsubasa: (used as a name in my story) Wings

Hajime: (used as a name) Beginning (form of Hajimeru, to begin)

Natsu no Kanashi: Summer of Sadness (or is it Sadness of Summer?)

Natsu: Summer

Kanashi: Sadness

Konnichiwa: Hello/Good afternoon

Murasaki: (used as a name) Purple

Aya: (used as a name) Female Name: means “woven silk”

-chan: (e.g. Aya-chan) Used for little children and girls close to you

-kun: (e.g. Tsubasa-kun) Used for little boys and boys close to you

-san: (e.g. Kaa-san) Used to show respect

Okaa-san/Kaa-san: Mother

Nii-san: (e.g. Tsubasa-Nii-san) Older brother

Daijobu ka?: Are you okay?

Daijobu: I’m fine.

Suki da yo: I like you

O-daijini: Take care of yourself

Shounen-ai: Boy x Boy love