Ushinawareta Tsubasa (Lost Wings)

By Phiare

TWO.Saddest Summer

                “How are you going to burn your time till the ceremony tonight?” Hajime asked, curious. The ceremonies were held nightly. Each night was to honor the dead who died valiant in battle. They would also choose the six people who would fight the following day. Each day, three fights were held.

                Almost two hundred men rushed to compete in the Summer of Sadness. Natsu no Kanashi was one of the most popular events in their area. Every year, it took the lives of nearly a hundred strong men who would usually have succeeded in becoming wonderful assets to the community. The death rate was alarmingly high because if you didn’t fight fair, you were killed by the referee. Most matches were to the death.

                Hajime was a man of strong endurance, and thus, he evaded two deaths. I admit I am completely uncertain of how I will fare in the Natsu no Kanashi. Hajime had been training his whole life. His family was one of the many that met an end in the warring between the villages, so for him, it was a matter of life or death to learn how to fight.

                Was the prize for the Natsu no Kanashi truly worth the risk of losing my life? I came into this competition sure of this, but I do not know anymore. I was taught honor by my father before he was killed defending our village when I was ten. My mother, who is growing weak with sickness, pleads for me to return to her. When I left, she whispered in a broken voice, “Above all that is precious in the world, what I hold the dearest is the life of my son…” She used to say that about my father.

                “I’ll go down to the lake.” I informed him. “See you later.” He responded.

                There was something about the stiff casualness in Hajime’s voice that revealed all that he held in his heart. He was worried about my match-up and me. All matches were fought to either death or unconsciousness, which was Hajime’s case. Besides him, I doubted if any other men survived to gain a second or a third chance.

                Many men did not know the full extent of the prize. Others knew about the prize all too well and came unprepared. Their minds were full of thoughts of winning that they forgot they had to fight their way there first.

                I think I’ve spent too long here. The mountains were intimidating at first, as if their gargantuan shadows warned me to go back. They had nearly laughed at me when I entered, but they roomed me with the man they called the Gentle Giant Hajime. (They also called him the Horrendously Huge Hajime, but that was a different story.)

                I’ve learned to trust giants now. I find solace in their pain. It is the small that I do not trust. I do not trust those who are like me, because that means that their façade hides an inner turmoil. That sort of turmoil can be tapped into and relayed into ultimate power.

                I neared the lake after winding through the worn paths. The trees brushed against me, but the day was so marvelously clear like natural springs, it felt like velvet rubbing against me.

I saw a small figure by the edge of the lake whose first impression to me was feminine, but there was a casual grace to him that did not seem like a girl’s. His back was turned to me as he dipped his feet into the lake. How mysterious. There was no one allowed in the area that wasn’t competing. He heard me coming and turned around. Cool, amethyst eyes were set off by his mauve hair. His skin was smooth and pale like polished china, and he held the frigid beauty of porcelain dolls. There was such an air of fragility around him; it was only surpassed by the aura of a piece of glass that had fallen and not cracked.

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that will make it okay

There’s always some reason

To feel not good enough

And it’s hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh, beautiful release