Fear
Fear is something all of us have experienced. Most of us find other
peoples' fears peculiar or even funny, not realizing that our own fears are
just as bad. People can be afraid of anything, from the dark, bugs, getting
into trouble, from bullies, or even from death. Some people get so
obsessive about their fears that they become a phobic. The main difference
between normal fear and phobia is that phobia is more of a mental disorder,
characterized by paranoia, anxiety, tension, sweating, inability to
breathe, and other severe symptoms like that. Normal fear is just a slight
tingling in the gut, wishing you weren't experiencing what you fear. I have
quite a few fears, none of them being severe enough to call a phobia.
For one thing, I have always been afraid of lizards. Their dull
yellowish-grey color, their transparent limbs, their ever darting black
beady eyes, all enough to send shivers up my spine. I don't mind the
colorful garden lizards though, they at least seem a bit cheerful, very
unlike the common house lizards one can find in almost any corner of a
room. Probably the main reason I detest house lizards so much is because of
an incident which happened when I was just a little five year old kid. I
had been watching television sitting on the armchair hand-rest when
suddenly I felt something on my shoulders. I looked down to see black beady
eyes staring up at me and a forked tongue sticking out of a tiny yellowish
mouth. I screamed and the next minute fell off the armchair hand-rest only
to hit my head on the hard marble floor and feel sticky paws running across
my forehead, leaving me unconscious. I remember waking up on my bed to see
my worried parents sitting by my side waiting for me to wake up. One may
call it silly, but till today I blame that lizard for causing me so much
trouble. That fall's aftereffects can still be felt today, as often I get
terrible headaches in the part of my head where I hit the ground. Since
that summer day I have hated lizards to the core, no matter how far away
the gruesome critter is.
Another fear I have is that of speaking on stage. It's easy for me to
address a crowd from any place other than a raised platform. Many will say
that the stage is something which should make you feel confidant, but that
isn't the case with me. The stage gives me a sense of insecurity, makes me
feel much more conscious about what I do and say, thus not allowing me to
just be myself. On a raised platform I feel as if everyone is sneering and
mocking me, even though I know they aren't. It's so much easier addressing
a crowd when half of them cannot really see you clearly, though you know
they are very much watching every move. Speaking in public is something
which should come naturally, but my fear of stages really doesn't allow
that. On stage I always find myself stammering too much, always making a
fool of myself in the process. No one would want a crowd of people to think
they are stupid.
My greatest fear yet is the fear of being forgotten. What is the use of
living when once you die people will forget you anyways? I meet a lot of
people everyday and do my best to make a difference in their life. I want
them to be able to look back fifty years in time and remember how I helped
them or how I changed their life, or at least remember they once knew me. I
don't want to be the forgotten one as the whole thought is quite
frightening. It's like eating a chicken sandwich and being unable to
remember the taste, and the loss is not that of the eater, but of the
chicken sandwich. The eater can always eat another chicken sandwich, but
that particular chicken sandwich can never be tasted again. Thinking about
it will make you realize how scary the whole prospect really is.
Another great fear I have is having no purpose in life. I want to make
a place for myself in this world, not fade away leaving behind nothing. As
Kurt Cobain said in his suicide note, "It's better to burn out than fade
away", I feel the same way. Just think, would you want to just be born,
live a monotonous, meaningless life, and then die? I definitely wouldn't, I
want a purpose, and I'm going to search for that purpose. I'm content with
the way I'm living at the moment; my purpose at the moment is to bring a
smile on everyone's face. In the future that purpose will change and
hopefully I'll have a better, large scaled purpose. I really wouldn't want
to lie in my death bed wishing I had had a purpose or made a difference in
the world. I know that this one fear is something I must overcome with my
hard work, and I definitely will. I will make a purpose for my life, I will
make the world a better place, and I won't die pondering over why I was
born and what difference I made.
Fear comes in all forms, some can easily be overcome, while others can
last with you for a whole lifetime. The best way to overcome your fears is
to face them, in fact this is the only way to overcome your fears. People
develop fears for various reasons, and sometimes no reason at all, but
whatever it is, fears should be overcome. One should fear nothing but fear
itself.
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