I remember wondering why he was there. I remember thinking that it couldn't
be right. All the time I had known him, although we'd barely spoken more
than a couple of words to each other, I'd also thought of Josh as the
artistic type. So what he was doing in my A-Level Biology class was a
mystery to me.
However, it wasn't like I was complaining. I'd had a crush on Josh ever
since I'd first saw him. For starters, he was gorgeous; or rather I thought
he was gorgeous. He was gorgeous but not in the normal, expected sense that
seemed to make all the other girls in the school drool. His hair wasn't sun
kissed and wavy like all the other "fit" boys I knew. His hair was gelled
straight and was dyed jet black, although, if the light hit just right, you
could see the tale-tell light brown roots poking through at the ends. He
wasn't tanned and built up like the other guys too. He was lanky and pale,
although not so pale that he was actually white. He also had a slight hunch
to his posture. My friend Katie had always said it was rather freakish but
I actually found it endearing.
But what really sealed the deal for me was his love of all things artistic.
I'll always remember one break time back when I was in year nine. Katie was
having problems with her art grades (she's a scientist at heart, bless her)
and was being kept in to finish off her art project. I, being the good
friend that I like to think I am, had offered to sit with her in the art
block over break. And that's when I saw it- Josh's art project. It had
stood out among the grey mish-mash of pointless paper-mache and meaningless
chalk markings of the other student's work. It was quite simply stunning.
His white canvas had had been flooded with vivid crimsons, indigos and
khakis- colours that had real depth and real meaning. I leaned over to have
closer look and that's when I was truly amazed. The colours were not purely
markings and sketches. They were quotes of great poets and authors of years
gone by. They spoke of depression and suffering and loss and pain and joy
and happiness and wonder and beauty. They were quotes that clearly screamed
with emotion for Josh and, for that matter, any other human being with a
If I were still fourteen, now would be the point that I started declaring
my undying love.
But I'm not fourteen anymore. I'm seventeen- almost an adult- and it was
time I had to face facts. As far as personality was concerned, I knew
nothing about him. Yes, I could admire his good looks and artistic nature
from afar but, the truth was, I knew nothing about him. And you can't love
somebody you know nothing about. It's illogical. And, as I, like Katie, am
a scientist, I don't do things that are illogical.
I am not in love. I am simply an admirer.