Teach me Thanks

Feeling so selfish while feeling unloved,
Without all the things I desire:
Talent, acceptance,
Love and perfection,
The ever-insidious yet
Poisoned ideal.
I find I've been waiting for something bad,
That “horrible thing” which must come along.
And wishing for, too, though twisted it seems,
A justification for selfish cries:
A person to hate, a thing to blame,
A reason for all of my greedy demands
My feelings of Loss and of Helplessness
Of Emptiness, and Futility.
But at this moment, I realise my “pain”
Was naught but a gift to make me the stronger;
I stop with the “wants” and for once say “I have”;
Look what I have,
Its all that I need.