The Story you've Never Heard
So, you want to hear it from my point of view, do you? Of course you
don't. But you will anyways. Of course, like in all stories like this, I'm
just the "poor, misunderstood Aycan". But, really! I am misunderstood! I
mean, YOU all think that I'm a conceited prick because I think my ass is
sexy. Well, it is. If you have a problem with that, bring it up with the
authors and take a number. You'll be waiting a while. But, anyways . . .
Most people think it's funny to make me a total idiot in fan fiction.
That's because it is. But, that doesn't mean that they should! Maybe I am a
big softie inside. Do people have a problem with that? Again, bring it to
the authors and take another number. Yes. One number per question. The most
common misunderstanding is my feelings for Aliasa.
Okay, so SHE broke up with me for some dumb ass. Albeit, a very good
looking and lovable dumb ass, but still. Of course I'd feel bitter about
that. I mean, what if YOUR girlfriend left you for a hippopotamus? Yea, now
you're getting it. Come on people . . . She was a GOOD catch. You all agree
that Aliasa is one hot momma, right? Of course you do. She was MY
girlfriend, MY little minion, Me, my way, mine, me. And, of course, there
is NO way she broke up with me because of something I did. Of COURSE not.
It must have had something to do with the little twerp she seemed to have
fallen for . . . So, just like any bitter ex-boyfriend, I began to point
fingers . . . Which leads me to the next misunderstanding . . . .
Okay, so maybe I expressed my dislike of Xantos to a few . . . shady
characters, but that doesn't mean I SENT someone to kill him. I was angry,
and that dragon thing just HAPPENED to be there . . . So I just HAPPENED to
mention that I REALLY didn't like Xantos . . . One thing led to another,
and next thing you know, the kid's in a hospital bed. Not that I wasn't
disappointed that he wasn't dead. I mean, it would have been nice if he had
died . . . Hey, I'm a selfish jerk. Is that such a crime? Yea . . . That's
what I thought.
So, of course, I was depressed and distracted during the Guardian
trials . . . I could have easily beaten ALL of my opponents. But I didn't.
I think that the idea of being evil overlord was much more appealing than
"Goody Goody Guardian". It was only AFTER that I realized that taking over
the world would be OH so much easier if I were a Guardian. That's what you
call . . . No, not irony. That's what you call . . . Doing things the hard
way. Hey, I'm an over achiever. You got something against that? Take
another number, please.
So, of course, I became an outcast. Not that they weren't throwing me
out. I left of my own free will. Why not get a head start on taking over
the world? While I was out and about . . . I hear some stories. Of course I
did. I can't just isolate myself from the world. News travels. I heard that
my darling, sweet, somehow brainwashed by an idiot Aliasa had been
attacked. Bah. They'd probably blame this one on me too . . .
Soon thereafter, I ran into that idiot Xantos. He was probably lost.
I mean, what else do idiots do with their time? Of course, I would never
know the answer to that question . . . Well, of course, it was HIS fault
for being out so late AND by himself. Why not boost my ego and sharpen my
swordsmanship on him? Idiot or not, he wasn't a half bad fighter. As much
as I hated to admit it . . . . Anyways . . . I THOUGHT I had killed him.
But, of course, as it always goes, he somehow managed to escape my
clutches. I really need to work on improving my clutches. Things just seem
to slip right through them . . . Anyways . . .
Now, I'm just sitting around formulating another plot. And, of
course, improving my clutches. This way, I'll have an ingenious plot and
clutches that even a flea couldn't escape from. Unfortunately, the authors
are obsessed with open-ended chapters, not to mention being very slow and
very busy. So I can't really tell my side of the story if you haven't heard
THEIRS. Now, I'm sure you're educated and full of questions for the
authors. So, pack up a picnic and take a number . . . you'll be waiting a
So now you know . . . The Story You've Never Heard.
Until just now, of course. I mean, I DID just tell it to you . . . .