Disclaimer: I only own the plot line. If this story sounds like any other, it is purely coincidental.

Authors Note: Well, here it is; I submit the first chapter of Craving Perfection for you to read. Please note that this is rated ‘R’ for a reason: if mentions of self-harm, suicide or schizophrenia offend you, don’t read it. For the people who do read it please review when you’re finished.

Craving Perfection

This is not my place. I don’t belong here. This isn’t my life. The flowing of consciousness between me and me separates us from the world

Chapter One:

Sacrifices Must Be Made

I walk down the bright alleyways, hurtling down paths filled with so many different objects under the bright electric suns of the shopping mall. I skim over items, stupid items. Worthless items. Not worthy. I’m looking, looking for something. Anything. Then I catch it. It’s just a glint, a sparkle of sunlight which catches my attention. I follow this path of gold light, drawn to it like a moth. I turn a corner and there it is. A glass. A simple glass. At first I dismiss it: it is not worthy, already turning when I realize. Some forms are simplicity in itself. Maybe it is worthy. A simple glass.

I take it in my hands. So simple, so clear. I run my fingers along its edge. It’s smooth and circular. So uncomplicated. There’s an almost blue-like tinge to that perfect circle. I slowly lift one finger and slide it into my mouth, wetting it with my tongue. I suck for a moment and then release it. The finger goes back to the glass, and slowly floats over the edge again. I am torn between my indecision: is it what I feel it is? Or is it not? My finger flows along the edge, round and round and round. Faster and faster. I am mesmerised by the hypnotic pull. I need an answer. It comes; suddenly riding on a soothing wave of pulsing sound. I can feel the glass calling to me. The high pitched throbbing explodes in my mind. It’s perfect. Perfection. Such an impossible achievement. The achievement that I crave. This glass is my line, my circle, to perfection. I can feel it in my hands.

When I hold it up to the light, a gasp escapes from my throat. A miracle has come for me. The glass is agreeing with me. For it has broken the ordinary sunlight into a million golden rays of perfection. I hold my face to the blessing that runs over my face. Trickling over my eyes, leaving pools of gold, running down my cheeks. It trickles into my mouth, and I open myself up to it. Faster and faster I swallow perfection. It is sweeping inside my body, sweeping through my body, leaving wonderful warmth behind. Faster and faster. I need it, need it so badly. My body begs for more. I tilt my head back, trying to catch more of the perfect rays. I can smell it, the smell of perfection: the smell of violets. My mind swirls in ecstasy inside my head. I feel as though I am flying, lifting off the floor, heading for heaven. My body becomes light as the air, and I am tingling all over. The floor begins to rotate faster and faster in synchronization with my swallows. I sway in time with the rotations, until I am flying high in the sky. I swallow faster and faster until the glass explodes into a thousand pieces of light golden perfection above my head. I swallow faster and faster until I slide suddenly, blissfully, into the world of perfection.

I am falling, falling through the light of perfection. I can see it, so close, just near me. I twist and reach for it. I reach for it; I reach for the perfect world. Something is dragging me back through another hole. No, no, please let me be perfect, let me be happy, no, let me go…

Author’s Note: This is a story, so expect me update soon. I hope you liked the first chapter, but even if you didn’t please review anyway.

May blessings follow in your footsteps,

Ethereal Kisses