it's vaguely and deadly obvious you
don't want me here; I'm the intruder and the difference
(and I try not to complain)
but understanding not included
say all you like and when I'm facing you smile
and mutter niceties and pretend to care
maybe I'll forgive you what I heard
yesterday but just for a minute, just
for a year or three is all you have to keep it fake
and don't let me ruin it for you

and who needs this? flaking and dreaming off
of better places, Freudian slips and I wish
this never happened but the world's never been like that
and I quite know just why - but maybe
if plain words - ? just a suggestion
your face will freeze that way, you don't
have to put up with me
just keep it civil, on the edge of quiet hate and
I'll let it go

I don't want me here either