Personal Trainer
Chapter Nine: Imperative Judgment
By: Queen Beryl

“If you don't love yourself, no one else will.” -Comedian O'Dog.

We all made it to Skylar’s in relatively one piece.

“Anyone want something to drink?” Skylar offered as we all filed into his house.

“Lemme see what you have.” Allison followed Skylar into the kitchen. I suspected they were going to be a while.

“Coke for me.” Drystan called out. Kaleb and I remained silent. I wondered when he was going to become un-mute. I sat down on Skylar’s loveseat that was located across from the couch and adjacent to the over-stuffed armchair. Drystan plopped comfortably next to me on the left. Skylar glared and sat on my other side. I smiled nervously; they were way too close for comfort – squishing me in the middle. I still couldn’t understand why they were acting so strange. I decided I’d ask Allison when she wasn’t preoccupied.

“So, are you ready for school, Kaleb?” I asked, desperately trying to eliminate the awkward silence.

“It’s not for another two months.” He replied with a shrug.

“But we’re gonna be big, bad seniors!” I smiled. “Well, hopefully I won’t be big, but you know what I mean.”

“Just another step in life.” Kaleb shrugged again.

“Somehow it has to be different.” I nodded. More silence.

“Sorry.” Skylar came into the room with Drystan’s Coke and tossed it to him.

“Couldn’t find it?” Drystan questioned, raising his eyebrows in a way that suggested he meant something other than what he said. Skylar grinned lopsidedly.

“Yeah. So, how are you all… squished on the couch like that?”

“It’s roomier than it looks.” Drystan commented, slinging an arm around me, but letting it rest on the couch’s back. Kaleb coughed. I just sat still. Allison smiled widely at me; I ignored her.

“Oh, I just downloaded these new songs…” Skylar pulled out his iPod and plugged it into the docking station.

“Hey, Jess, can I talk to you for a sec?” Allison stood up and held out her hand to me. I followed suit, taking her hand, and she pulled me toward the kitchen. We went further in so we were a good six feet away from the open doorway.

“Lemme guess – you and Skylar made out?” I grinned. Allison’s eyes went wide and she slapped my arm.

“You’re dirty! We didn’t make out,” she grinned. I raised an eyebrow. “We just talked a little and before we came back out he kissed me on the cheek.”

“How romantic! Skylar is a good guy,” I proclaimed. Allison nodded.

“But stop! That’s not why I pulled you back in here. I wanted to ask you—” Allison stopped as Drystan came in.

“Sorry to interrupt; I just wanted to let you ladies know that I have to leave. I have a new appointment now. See you tomorrow?” The last part was specifically directed at me.

“Of course,” I smiled warmly. Drystan winked and patted my head.

“Bye,” he exited, not waiting for a “bye” from us.

“You’re red.” Allison pointed out, poking my cheek. I stepped back.

“It’s hot in here,” I responded. I couldn’t think of another reason.

“Mm-hmm. Well, like I was gonna say – which one do you like?” She asked.

“Huh?” I replied intelligently. Allison sighed and then giggled.

“You are just so innocently adorable!” She exclaimed before wrapping her arms around me. I still wasn’t getting it.

“I’m a little confused.”

“Do you like Drystan or Kaleb? Or both?” Allison clarified with a big smile. I could feel my neck and cheeks get hot. I hated blushing.

“I… uh, I have no idea. I think they’re both wonderful,”

“And hot,” Allison supplied.

“And hot,” I acknowledged, “but, I’m not exactly their types.”

“They’re gay?” Allison raised an eyebrow. I giggled behind my hand.

“No.”

“Then you’re their type.”

“Allison, I’m not exactly… hot material, here.” I extended my arms and looked down at myself. Allison made a huffing noise.

“You’re cute, funny, naïve, and blonde; what else would a guy want?”

“I believe its 36”-24”-36”,” I raised an eyebrow. Allison rolled her eyes and fluffed her hair with her fingers.

“You’ll get there soon enough anyway.”

“What are you two doing in here?” Skylar suddenly appeared. I gasped. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. We’re done anyway,” I sent a pointed look to Allsion. She shrugged. We all trecked back to the couch and talked about random stuff.

The doorbell ran and for some reason, my heart filled with dread. A cold chill ran down my spine and a knot settled in my stomach. The world, however, kept spinning. Conversation didn’t even stop when the sound came. Skylar got up to answer the door. I watched his every movement as if it were in slow motion. If he could have read my mind, he never would have answered the door. I didn’t even know who was behind it, but I was scared nevertheless.

“Hey… come on in.” Skylar pulled open the door and I went stiff. Ralph came in with a charismatic smile on his face. Then his eyes landed on me. And his smile slipped. Time stopped altogether and I couldn’t breathe. Kaleb swung his knee into mine, pulling me out of the horrific stare down with Ralph. I looked over at Kaleb and he smiled reassuringly at me as though he knew how I felt. Then again, the fear was probably written all over my face. I ran a shaky hand through my hair, only making more bumps in my ponytail. Of all the people, why did he have to be here? Luck was never on my side.

“Ralph, I’d like you to meet Allison Everlei. Allison, this is my buddy, Ralph Burkhard.” Skylar introduced, obviously happily unaware of the big fat elephant in the room; I don’t mean me, either. Ralph and Allison shook hands. Ralph made some smooth comment about how good she looked. I blanched and stared determinedly at my shoes. I noticed how dirty they were; I frowned. I felt hideous. I was very aware that my shirt was just tight enough to show my rolls when I sat. Of course, they were smaller than before, but they were still defined.

“Jess?”

I snapped out of my self-depreciating thoughts and looked up. Allison was smiling over at me. I very carefully kept my eyes on her.

“Huh?” I replied. I heard Ralph snort. I refused to look at him.

“Are you okay? You look a little pale.” Allison leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. I smiled weakly, about to say I was fine. Then I saw it – a way to escape.

“Actually, no. I’m feeling sick. I’m gonna head on home. I’ll see you later!” I jumped up and headed for the door. I yanked it open and did everything I could not to run. I shut the door quickly and sped down the walkway. I heard the door re-open and I froze. No! It was Ralph! He was going to–

“Wait, Jessica.” Kaleb caught up to me. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

“I am.” I smiled at him.

“I’ll take you home.” Kaleb offered, grabbing my elbow, and pulled me to his car.

“Do I have a choice?” I questioned as he opened the passenger side door for me. I got in and he leaned his head in before closing the door.

“You always have a choice, Jessica.” With that, he closed the door. Kaleb’s words echoed in the car. It was strange – they meant something, but I couldn’t make the importance stick. He pulled open his door and climbed in. Kaleb always made me feel secure.

“What now?” Kaleb asked. His tone was soft as if he really wanted to know. I sent him a questioning look.

“What?”

“You’re smiling.” Kaleb pointed out as we pulled away from Skylar’s house. I blushed.

“It’s nothing.”

“‘Nothing’ makes you smile like that?”

“Okay, fine. I can’t tell you. Is that better?” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“That’s worse. You don’t trust me enough to tell me?”

I sighed. I couldn’t win this one. “You.”

“Me what?” I could tell Kaleb was confused. My grin widened.

“You’re the reason. You make me feel…” I closed my eyes, searching for the right word. Human? Special? Thin? “good.”

I opened my eyes and looked over at him, expecting him to be near laughter or something. Instead, he was studying me, quite intently and not exactly paying attention to the road. At least I didn’t say safe. I’d have to retract that statement, now.

“Um, cars…” I pointed. Kaleb turned his focus back to the road. He kept his concentration on his driving for the rest of the ride. Maybe I’d said something wrong? He was looking at me like he was searching for something. I rubbed a hand over my face. He was making me crazy.

We pulled up to my house. I sat there awkwardly for a moment before I smiled and patted Kaleb’s hand that was resting on the stick shift.

“Thanks for the lift.” I got out and shut the door behind me. I went inside without looking back. I leaned against the front door. It was cool to the touch, despite the warm afternoon. I stayed there a few minutes before I heard Kaleb revv and pull away from my curb. Why did he wait so long to leave?

“Sport? Is that you?” Dad called out from somewhere deep inside the house.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I pulled away from the door and wandered into the kitchen where dad was reading a book. “Why aren’t you in the office?”

“My, don’t we know everything?” Dad laughed. “I needed a change of scenery. Why are you home so early?”

“Why are you?”

“Touché.” Dad nodded.

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” I bent down and kissed his forehead.

“Yeah, you stink.” Dad patted my shoulder and returned to his book. I stuck my tongue out at him and slowly headed upstairs.

I took a shower that both cleansed and soothed me. It felt almost like I was washing Ralph’s frightening presence away from me. I was drying off in the bathroom when I paused, looking in the mirror. I was surprised to discover I was missing two of my smaller rolls. I mean, they were just gone!

I dropped my towel completely and turned to the side. I looked thinner! I smiled at my reflection. This working out thing was doing the trick! I raised my thick arms and shook them; they didn’t jiggle as much as they had just a short while ago. There was still plenty of flab that needed to be lost, but I was getting there. I was so excited! I was changing!

“Oh!” I exclaimed aloud accidentally. Maybe some of my older “skinny” clothes would fit! I threw on a bra and panties and rushed to the back of my closet. I pulled out a pair of pants that had been about fifteen pounds too small. I yanked them on. It took some struggling and sucking in air, but I was able to get them on. Of course, I wouldn’t wear them in public yet, but I was getting there!

“Jess?” Mom knocked on my door. I threw on a shirt and opened up.

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering if you—hey, are those new?”

“No, they’re old.” I smiled. “Can you believe it? I can fit into them!”

“That’s great, honey. I just wanted to know if you were doing anything tonight with your friends.”

“No, why?”

“Because your father and I are going out to dinner tonight, and I wanted to know where you were going to be. If anything changes, give me a call, okay?” Mom smiled at me and left before I could respond. I frowned; she wasn’t focusing on the present conversation. She was distracted by something big. I plopped down on my bed and decided to worry about it later.

The next day I sat staring out of the windows in the gym without really seeing anything. I wasn’t even thinking about anything, really, just zoning out.

“Yo, Jess, you okay?” Drystan leaned down and touched my forehead. I jumped back into reality and flushed under his touch.

“I’m fine,” I whispered before clearing my throat.

“Are you sure? You look a little red.” Drystan slowly removed his hand and touched the side of my cheek. “Hmm, I guess you don’t feel warm. Did something happen after I left?”

“No.” I said too quickly. I licked my lips and turned back to the bench press machine. “Uh, how many reps?”

“What happened?” Drystan raised an eyebrow and folded his arms over his broad chest.

“Nothing, just… someone I didn’t like showed up. No big deal. How many reps?”

“Twenty, for being cheeky.” Drystan grinned and ruffled my hair. I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Yeah, but you know your like me anyway.” I retorted, pushing up the bar. Drystan coughed but didn’t reply. “So, who is the new client you’re dating?” I joked; Drystan gave out a hearty laugh.

“His name is Theodore Guasti.”

“You love a man? Is he cute?” I questioned.

“I wouldn’t know,” Drystan rolled his eyes. “I enjoy women, thank you.”

“So, what’s Theodore like?” I questioned.

“He’s a year younger than you, I think. Really tall and really dark skin.” Drystan watched my arms shake with the effort I was exerting. I gave up trying to start conversation; I was too busy trying to breathe correctly.

“Hey, Khur!” A familiar voice belted. I froze. It couldn’t possibly be—

“Burkhard! What’s up, Terrence?” Drystan replied. I finished my reps in relief. I couldn’t stand to see Ralph another time.

“Not mu—hey cutie, I remember you,” Terrence came over and patted my knee. I sat up and smiled at him. He wasn’t as scary as Ralph. He looked at me expectantly.

“It’s Jessica,” Drystan supplied. Terrence nodded and grinned, then seemed to have a sudden thought.

“Wait, you’re Jessica?” Terrence Burkhard suddenly turned and gazed at me as though seeing me in a new light. I was almost afraid to answer.

“Y-yeah….” I replied, waiting for some cutting remark or sneer. He simply gave me the “once-over” and nodded as if in approval, though I wasn’t sure.

“My brother talks about you all the time.” He affirmed. I gaped at him like a fish before sending him a confused look.

“What does he say?”

“Oh, you know, this and that,” Terrence stated casually, just like his brother would. I narrowed my eyes.

“That tells me nothing, you know.”

“Don’t worry, none of its bad.” He laughed. I scrutinized him to see if he was serious. He was.

“Must be some other Jessica, then. I doubt he’d say anything nice about me.”

“No, no. I see it clearer now. Long, light hair… pretty blue eyes… it’s definitely you.” Terrence nodded, finally deciding I was really the one. I just stood there, looking from him to Drystan, who had remained silent the whole time.

“Ralph hates my guts… along with the rest of me.” I retorted. “Perhaps you were drunk at the time.”

“He talks about you more often than not, and I don’t drink that much, okay?” Terrence got a bit defensive. I backed down. He was Ralph’s brother, after all. I wasn’t as frightened of Terrence, but who knew what his temper could turn out to become?

“Well, it was nice seeing you again, Burkhard.” Drystan piped up suddenly. I jumped, forgetting he was there.

“Yeah, same here, Khur. See ya around, Jessica.” Terrence winked and sauntered off. I exhaled deeply, relieved that he was gone.

I remained silent, peering after his disappearing form. Suddenly, my world was turned upside down. So, according to Terrence, Ralph’s older brother, Ralph was okay with me. But to my face, Ralph hated me. What do I believe?

“C’mon, I’ll take you home.” Drystan offered, resting his hand on my shoulder and guiding me to his car. “You’re parents probably called in anyway.”

“Mmm.” I replied, not knowing what to say. There was noting to say, really. We started driving home, very slowly. I stared out the passenger-side window as the trees, houses, and light posts lazily glided past.

Drystan parked in my driveway, where my dad’s precious new purchase (a.k.a. car) would usually be sitting. Apparently, they’d gone out to dinner again without me. I hate diets.

“Are you okay?” Drystan asked, turning off the car and placing his hands in his lap. I still stared out the window, my head relaxing against the seat.

“I don’t know.” I replied numbly. I turned to face him. He was gazing intently at me. “I mean, it’s all so surreal. I’ve been picked on my entire life for being fat; never a moment’s rest. I didn’t start out hideously obese or anything, but quite a bit more than pleasantly plump, ya know? Now that I’ve thinned up just a bit, come to find out Ralph isn’t as mean as he is to my face. I don’t know what to think. Is he putting up a front for me or his brother? And if it’s for me, then why? What would it matter? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Maybe he’s just two-faced like the lot of them.” Drystan suggested after I’d long finished. I shrugged.

“You could be right.” I shrugged. “But it’s still confusing.” I pushed open the car door to get out.

“Hey, Jess?” Drystan called a little shyly as I stepped out. I turned back, peering in.

“Yeah?”

“Could I come in for a bit?”

I stood up, so he couldn’t see my face. Why? I wanted to ask. What if my parents were home? What if they weren’t? I bent over again.

“Sure.” After all, what could happen? I closed the door and pulled my key out of my pocket as Drystan closed and locked his car. I opened up my house and let Drystan inside.

“Wow.”

“What?” I turned to face him after locking my front door. “What wow?”

“Your place is amazing. It’s huge.” Drystan looked around the living room. He turned left toward the kitchen, and forward down the hall that lead to the game room and Dad’s study. I bobbed on balls of my feet with my hands behind my back.

“Thanks, I guess.” Did he just want to come in to see my house? Should I offer him something to drink? Eat? Sit down?

“It’s nice. It’s a lot bigger than my place.” Drystan took a seat on my couch. I followed, as though I was visiting his house, and sat down by him.

“Really? I thought all houses in the area were this big, if not bigger.”

“They are. I don’t live over here.” For a moment he sounded a trifle bitter.

“Oh, where do you live?” I inquired. He looked at me, as though daring me to rub something in. I just smiled sincerely, hoping he would realize I really didn’t know.

“On the other side of the tracks.” He muttered after a moment. I tilted my head to the side.

“And… they have smaller houses over there?” I questioned slowly. His eyebrows lifted and a smile graced his handsome face. I blushed a little.

“Yeah. It’s not exactly a great part of town.”

“Oh.” I replied, not knowing how to take that. “I’d like to see it some time, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Drystan smiled, reached over, and patted my knee.

“I don’t think you’d feel at home there.”

“All the more reason.” I mumbled. “Anywhere’s gotta be better than here.”

“It’s in a poorer part of town.” Drystan took the direct approach.

“It can’t be that bad. You own a corvette.” I pointed out the front window where Drystan’s precious vehicle would be seen, glistening in the midst of my driveway.

“I had to restore it myself.” Drystan admitted. “I got it really cheap from a friend of my uncle’s.”

“Either way, why does it matter if you live in the ‘not-so-esteemed’ section of town? Why should I feel uncomfortable there?”

“You’re used to this, Jess.” Drystan gestured, indicating not only the living room but the house, neighborhood, and lifestyle, too. “You were born rich. Your parents and grandparents were rich.”

“So?” I countered, briefly wondering how he knew about my grandparents being wealthy.

“So… you don’t belong in a dirty place like that, that everyone is trying to get out of.”

“You’re not dirt poor, Drystan. It’s middle class! Here is just upper-middle class.”

“No, here is upper class. We’re the lower. There’s no such thing as middle class in this town, Jess.”

“That’s not true. I know a lot of people who are much wealthier than my family.”

“I know a lot more.”

“Why are you trying to discourage me from seeing your place, Drystan? I don’t care if you live in a cardboard box in an alley way and you feed ten cats. Actually, the cats would be a little strange… but that’s not the point! If you don’t want me to see where you life, then fine. But know it was because of you and not because I didn’t want to see it, okay?”

Drystan remained silent for a moment, his eyes flickering back and forth between mine. He leaned forward and brought his lips to my cheek. I blushed, and an odd feeling shot up through me starting at my stomach and overtaking my whole body. And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t hunger.

“What… was that for?”

“For being so nice. You wanna come see it now?”

“You’re house?”

“What else?”

“Sure. Let’s go!” I climbed up and ushered him out the front door. As he started up his car, I took my time locking the front door. I touched the side of my face and smiled. That was a first.

A/N:

I’m sorry it took me forever and a day to update. I’d lost the middle of this chapter and I refused to put up the newest part without finding what I’d stupidly lost. I found it tonight, so I typed it up and put it up for you guys. I hope you all like this chapter! Again, sorry!

Thanks to all my reviewers! There are too many to name you all individually, but you’ve put up with my lack of updates, so you all get KUDOS!

And, whoot! I got Kaleb back from Kawashima!

I’ll answer some of the questions you all have asked about:

1. What’s up with Ralph touching Jessica in the movie theater? I can’t tell you! You will see later on, I promise!

2. Why is she in the gym if shes already hot stuff Directly from “CallMeCute”? She’s not “hot.” She’s a cute girl, of course, but her lack of confidence hide that. She feels that because she’s overweight she’s unworthy of attention. She doesn’t keep up with fashions or keep her hair in style. She’s more of an “unearthed” cutie.

3. Why is Jessica so… oblivious to everything? She’s not used to having any of this stuff happening to her.

4. Why is Jessica overweight? She always ate junk food as a child and continued the process through her teen years. Her parents never could tell her “no” to sweets and such.

5. Is it Drystan or Kaleb? Yeah, like I’m going to answer that one now!

6. How do you pronounce “Drystan?” Dry-styn is how I do.

7. Why isn’t Jessica in shape yet? It’s hard for her to lose weight; her body isn’t used to it. Drystan is working her slow just to make sure it’s gradual. But she has lost weight!!