I've looked up to you since the day I was born.
Now I don't know what to do. I'm completely torn.
I remember the days when we used to push and shove.
Despite it all, deep down, all I've wanted is your love.
The day you almost died was the worst of my life.
"That was so fucking fun," you later told you wife.
I'm sorry I judged you before trying to understand.
I just want you to be strong and be able to stand.
The cuts on your arms used to scare me to death.
Now I understand the feeling of not wanting to take another breath.
I used to think you were just wasting your life away.
But now I see that you're just trying to get through another day.
I want to truly know you and your every-day strain.
You just have to know that I understand all of your pain.
I love you, big brother, please just see…
All I've ever wanted is for you to accept me.