“If I Had”

If I Had the words to say what I really want to.
I'd say them.
If I Had the emotions to express what I need to.
I'd express them.
If I Had the mind to dream of dreams.
I'd dream them.
If only I had you...
You slipped through my fingers in a blind accident,
You slipped passed me in the time continuum.
My eyes flashed open the next morning to realize,
I wouldn't be smelling your scent anymore.
I wouldn't have you to adore...

If I Had the heart to pump blood through my veins.
I'd let it pump it.
If I Had the feet to guide me.
I'd let them guide me.
If I Had the hands to write.
I'd let them write.
If only I knew you longer...
Maybe if I'd known you longer than I had,
You wouldn't have died.
Maybe if we fulfilled our dream,
I wouldn't have the need to cry almost every night.
My eyelashes blink away the hurt,
The salty tears of pain...

I can't say that I don't miss you,
For I miss you everyday to every hour, minute, second.
I can't say that I never loved you,
For thinking about loving someone else seems insane.
Even when the heavens open,
And it rains...
I still cry up to today.

I mentioned last night that I loved someone,
Other than you.
Is it true?
I prayed and prayed asking for your guidance,
but you didn't come into my dreams to help me.
Why didn't you?
I won't ask anymore...
If I love, I'll love because you told me to.
For your spirit is ushering me to move on.
It'll be insane.
It'll hurt.
Yet I'll do it...

If I Had the wings to fly.
I'd fly right back to you...