To A God Who Left Me;

There are those who say that in persons darkest moments the only comfort they can find is in God.

Where were you?

I called to you on endless nights seeking your comfort because I though you would be able to end the pain. Yet, you never answered.

Where were you when I was all alone?

I thought horrible things, things that no person should have to think/feel. I hated having these feelings. I just wanted to be like everyone else, happy.

I cried out to you for guidance, for a sigh. There was only darkness, only pain.

Sitting in school I would watch everyone else talking to their friends, chatting about the previous nights events. I had only myself.

Where were you then?

My parents, instead of offering support began to make wild accusations toward me.

I begged, BEGGED, FOR YOUR GUIDANCE!

Yet, there was just more pain, more darkness.

Why are did you do this to me?

I though you loved all your children?

Finally I couldn’t and stopped fighting it, allowing the darkness to envelope me.

I find comfort only in the cold, dark.

The sun does not warm me anymore.

I don’t hate you. You can’t hate that which does not exist….