IF YOU READ THIS STORY, PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO REVIEW IT, EVEN IF YOU
HATED IT. EVEN IF IT ONCE ATE YOUR FAVOURITE SPATULA. YEAH. SO, JUST DO IT.
Once upon a time, there was a young lad named Saxon.
He was busying himself in the kitchen by making up another container of
Strawberry Jelly, with the second sachet of two that had come in his
Aeroplane Jelly Lite box.
He first emptied the container into the wrong tub. That was easily remedied
by the transferance of the aforementioned jelly crystals into the correct
Thus, disaster was averted.
Then, he poured the necessary measurement of hot water and cold water into
the crystals. First, 250ml of hot water, upon the adding of which he did
stir the mixture most furiously.
Then, when all crystals had dissolved into the mix, he did ad the 250ml of
All was well, until Saxon did notice that the sachet had a small amount of
leftover crystals lying lazily at the bottom.
Now, Saxon could have added these to the mixture, to constitute a stronger
But, no, for Saxon was muchly a free thinker and did instead decide to
follow a different course of action
He slowly lifted the sachet
Slowly, slowly. It got closer and closer to his face, as he lifted it,
remarking its rather dull white colour. Then, the climax.
Saxon snorted the Jelly Crystals, upon which he did almost choke to death.
His eyes stung with the fire of a million suns. His nose blocked up with
the delicious wafting smell of Strawberry sugar.
And he did this weird thing that wouldn't look good to any outside
observers, which may have looked like he was attempting to gouge his eyes
out with a fork. And he was. So, i guess that really makes a lot of sense.
And my name, you ask?
Well, I am Saxon.
I was that man.
But now I am changed.
Actually, it was kind of fun.
So im off to do it again.
Goodbye all, and to all... i wouldnt follow my example. Why, you ask? Well,
if you can't figure that out, you deserve to be eaten by ravenous beaver-
like insects. Some people call them 'politicians'.
Now you know what not to do with Jelly Crystals. I bid thee farewell.
An afternote: I realize that I haven't written anything in a long time.
Well, I actually have, but not been posting it. Im working on a murder-
mystery and putting all of my time into that, a serious venture for once.
Thanks for people who have put me on their favourite authors list; it means
a lot to me. I hope to be back with some fresh stuff soon.
Dedication: To Jenna, for leaving me all alone, and in fact so bored that I
wrote this story. Damn you to Hades.