i wanted to fall

into dreams that never came true

believe in light,

and run from the darkness

in which I had once hid

i wanted to gaze into your eyes

and stand entranced as you

stared back

smile faintly…

a grin of joy…

or mischief?

i did not care.

i wanted to fly

on pure silver feathers…

so unlike my own black,

ripped

scarred

tattered

wings.

which hold only one reminder

of the way I once was…

a single white feather

in the storm of darkness

float on clouds

as if love alone could lift me up.

and I could taste the raindrops

before they began to tumble

from the sky

anything was possible-

i could love you

you could love me

we could love

one another

i wanted to dream

of anything and everything

you… the way you made me feel

and the Silent harmony

soaring on stars with golden linings

i drifted away

on honeyed words

a mediocre grin

flimsy disguise

masks now removed

…you were so much more

than everything I thought you were

i wanted to believe

in faerie tales,

and happy

ever after

joyous endings to every story

and smiling faces all around

truthful expressions, replaced deceit

in opening my eyes,

to see a Technicolor world

after living in black and white

and gray

for so long

i wanted to remember

memories you can taste

highs I glided on for far too long

lows I hung on to out of bitterness

and spite

left by the wayside now

i was soaring so high

i nearly missed heaven's door

nearly forgot to ask the stars

to laugh with me

the next time I danced into the night

and stand on the moon

lost in eternal thought

who winks at me

when I grin

my glittering world

viewed through sparkling eyes

disbelieving

is this how life could really be?

could I float forever on this cloud

of dreams never realized?

i could.

if you held my hand.

i wanted…

you to be

My forever after.