The Last Dance Matt sat uneasily across from William. He was feeling quite ashamed at the way in which he was feeling uncomfortable, and was mentally kicking himself. "Come on for Christ's sake, he's your best friend," he yelled inwardly, but he still couldn't shake his uneasiness. "Why is he so happy? How could he be so happy? I've just won the trophy that should be his, why doesn't he care?" Matt was feeling extremely guilty. He had felt no pride in winning the County Dance Open, no pride and no satisfaction, only guilt. He knew that he had made mistakes during his routine, mistakes that William would never have made. He looked at his friend again. A soft grin was curling on his lips as he examined the trophy that was balanced on his lap. But Matt was struck by his eyes, they were bright, they were alive, they . "How? Why?" he wondered again. "Well done man," William said as he looked up from his friend's prize, "Well done, you deserve it." Pangs of guilt once more shot through the pit of Matt's stomach. His mind flashed back to three months before, to the first dance class of the summer.
They had just gotten their summer holidays, much to Matt's relief. He and William were the only two fellows in their school who danced, and this came with it's own problems. William had never seemed to mind the taunting that they had received on a regular basis from their classmates, but Matt hated it. Now he had three whole months of freedom, and he was going to make the best of it. They had both showed up at their dance class that evening in high spirits. They had just finished going through their warm-up routine and were preparing to start the class, when their teacher had gathered them around her. Matt would never forget the look on his teacher's face as she had made that announcement. She was grinning, her lips were quivering from her attempts to hide her emotion, but she was failing. Her eyes were the biggest give away of all. They were bright and sparkled with life, energy and youthful excitement. Matt had never seen his teacher look so happy. She often seemed disillusioned. Funding for the dance school had been cut and they had not attended a competition of any sort in years. For the most part she was teaching inattentive students, who really didn't care once they found out that there was no glory available, but who were still forced to attend by parents who had paid the hundred pound enrollment fee. But now it seemed as if she had regained all of her youthful enthusiasm, the same kind that had driven her to win the County Open six times between the ages of twelve and eighteen.
"As some of you may already know the County Open is being held at the end of August, and for the first time in ten years we are entering," she paused as if waiting for some exclamation of the awe that she herself felt. Matt now understood the sudden change that had come over his teacher. She heard no such response however; most of the class couldn't care less. Matt could see that William was too excited to talk, he himself was the same way. The others who were excited were trying to play cool. She returned to her speech rather disillusioned, "The Open rules stipulate that each school must and can only enter two couples," she paused again in a vain attempt to raise the expectation and suspense she had imagined her students would be feeling for the identity of the couples. This was completely in vain, any expectation had been erased when she had mentioned there were only two couples entering. There was no doubt in anyone's mind to which four would be participating. She was by now looking very disillusioned, but then she caught the look in William's eyes. In his eyes she saw the same restrained excitement that she herself felt. This helped her regain her composure a bit; at least someone was interested. She knew there were more, but was rather disappointed that they didn't express their excitement. "These teams have been decided," she continued, pausing once more for effect, she wasn't really one for making speeches, "William O'Sullivan shall partner Lucy Taylor and Matt Power will partner Stephanie O'Shea." There was no surprise at this. Those four were by far the best and in many senses the most committed if not the only committed dancers in the school. It was only natural that they had been chosen. The teacher's excitement died again as she started the class, they were just as uninspired as ever, all except for The Four, as they were later called, they danced like there was no tomorrow.
Matt still remembered walking home with William after that class: William had been unable to contain his excitement, "The Open, Matt, The Open!" he exclaimed in a state of ecstasy. "The Open, the most important competition of the year," he leaped into the air at this, his strong legs easily propelling him three feet upwards. Matt couldn't help but smiling at his friends childish excitement. He understood just how he was feeling; he was feeling the very same thing himself. He was naturally shy though, and he rarely expressed his excitement as enthusiastically as his friend did. That's why he loved dance so much, it made him feel free, he could express his emotions on the dancefloor. But it as still just a hobby for him, for his friend however it was everything; his life, his soul, his future. William was a born performer, mastering new steps and dances as they were thrown at him. For William there was no question mark hanging over his future career, the performing arts were a foregone conclusion. There was no jealousy between the two friends however, they had grown up together and were like brothers. Matt looked up to William for his dancing ability in the very same way that William marveled at his friend's writing ability. Writing was for Matt as dance was for William; his life, his soul, his future.
As they had reached Matt's front porch, William put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Hey man, let's make a promise eh? First and second places go to us. Let's show them what we've got." He held out his hand to William. "Yeah sure, just no hard feelings when I take first okay?" He took his friends outstretched hand. They were both grinning broadly. No more needed to be said, their friendship took care of that.
Matt smiled to himself as he remembered that evening, that evening which felt like so long ago. "Penny for your thoughts," William offered brightly. Matt came back with a start. "I was just remembering the promise we made before the open, do you still remember it?" "How could I forget. You kept your promise, you won man, well done." He replied smiling. "Don't give me all the credit, Stephanie was great, I couldn't have done it without her." "Hey stop being so modest man, you were great, you both were." "How can this guy be so happy?" Matt thought again, as he replied, "It was great out there, it felt so natural, the two of us, it was was like." "Poetry," William finished for him. "Yeah just like you and Lucy before, well you know."
Matt's mind flashed back to the twelfth of July. It had been a great class, one of the best they had ever had. Everything was coming together, The Four as they were known had progressed greatly and the teacher, Mrs. Ormond was absolutely thrilled with them. She had even begun to enjoy her classes again. The other had been led on by The Four's example and had begun to work harder. She finally had a real class to work with. She loved teaching once again, a love she had not felt in a long time.
The Four stayed behind after class that evening to get in some extra practice. There could have been nothing more natural than the four of them dancing together that night. They moved in perfect harmony, "Like poetry," as William often liked to call it. They had danced together for an hour and a half until Stephanie, Matt's partner had been collected. Matt took a seat, he was exhausted at this stage anyway. He still remembered sitting at the side of the dancefloor watching William and Lucy. They were amazing together. The last dance had been to a slow romantic tune that had been one of William's favourites, Ella Fitzgerald singing "How long has this been going on". William and Lucy had awed him with their perfect movement, their flawless grace and the magnificent chemistry that they shared on the dance floor. They danced as if they were one. That dance had only lasted about three minutes, but to Matt it had seemed like an eternity. He had been carried away on the flow of their movements. He had spun with them as they had spun to the last dying notes of the music. He had stood with them as they held their positions for a few seconds after the music had died. Their bodies close, William's hands on her waist, hers around his neck, Their chests heaving with the exertion. Matt as he had once done on that night, again lost himself in the perfection of that moment.
"That last dance was perfect," he whispered to William his voice sounding distant. William smiled at him. "Yeah it was, I really couldn't have wished for a better ending to my career in dance," he said this so frankly, so earnestly that it made Matt wince. "Matt look at me," William ordered sternly. Matt raised his eyes to his friends, uneasiness washed over him again. "Look in my eyes Matt, who do you see?" "You, Will," Matt replied in confusion. "Look at my face, who do you see?" "You, man," his confusion was growing. "Look at my chair, whose is it?" "It' yours God damn it, it's yours." "That's right Matt, it's mine. I'm not saying that I'm ecstatic over falling off that horse. I wish I hadn't. I mean I don't want to spend the rest of my life in this chair, but you know what? I have to. I can't change what happened. I can't change the fact that I'm paralysed from the waist down. I can't change the fact that I'll never walk again, let alone dance. I hate it Matt, I don't need you to hate it too. You deserved to win, you're a great dancer, one of the best and you proved it today. Don't feel bad that I never got my chance. I'm still alive and in the end that's all that really matters. I can't dance anymore, but that doesn't mean that I can't experience it anymore. It's right here," he tapped his forehead, "And here," he tapped his chest, "I don't need a trophy to tell me that I love to dance, all I need is the memory. I had the best times of my life on the dancefloor and I'll die before I forget them.
Matt couldn't help smiling at this, "Yeah you're right I guess, but I've got a feeling that one in particular means more to you than all the rest, right?" "Which one?" William's eyes glinted as he smiled. "What else man," Matt now too was smiling, "The Last Dance."
Keith O'Sullivan
16-9-04