Self-harm is not a crappy plot device. When a person self-mutilates due to depression or other disorders, it is not a weapon with which they will manipulate others' feelings. That is a problem in and of itself, and not connected to self-mutilation at all. There are deep psychological reasons for self-harm; often, the victim (because they are a victim) will either want to make the world “real”, or make it go away. They use it to take out frustration, anger, and other strong emotions, especially when those emotions are, as a matter of course, not accepted in their environment. It is a self-preservation technique that can and will turn into an addiction.

Therefore:

It is not something a character will want comfort for. They will try to hide it--it is one of the few things they have control over in their life, and they will not want others trying to stop them. It's nearly sacred, a ritual that cannot be broken, or a tsunami of unwanted feelings will wash away and drown that character.

It is not something that can be cured over night. It takes years to recover from such a behavior. A peck on the cheek and a hug from the one they love will not do much more than make a teensy crack on the surface of the pain.

It is not an indication of suicidal thoughts. While self-mutilation is often accompanied by suicidal impulses, it does not start out as a mission to end one's existence. In fact, self-mutilation is like the lesser of two evils. The one who is self-mutilating wants to survive and is doing whatever they can to cling onto a life that clearly (to them) doesn't want them.

It is not to be confused with religious rituals, body art, or crying for attention. Rituals which involve bloodletting are not the product of a psychologically damaged brain. Inking, cutting or burning designs into one's skin, or paying others to do it, for sheer aesthetic pleasure may be considered . . . odd . . . but it is not self-mutilation. Self-harming in order to gain attention is a different problem altogether, though certainly as severe.

Self-harm is often portrayed as cutting (purposely drawing blood from oneself) and cutting only, but sadly it comes in many forms. Anorexia, bulimia, overeating, other eating disorders, burning, carving (purposely cutting--or burning--designs, usually symbolic, into one's skin for more than aesthetic functions), hitting or bruising oneself, scratching, it all equals emotional pain traded for physical, which is much easier to deal with.

To tell you the truth, it is actually offensive to those who have to live with self-mutilation in all its--understatement of the century--unpleasant aspects, who have to fight the addiction every day, who have to attend years of therapy just to say the words, “I'm mad” or “I feel lost” or “I'm lonely”, or any number of things. When such a serious topic is dealt with such a callousness or such a clear indication of ignorance, it hurts. It really does. Jeez! If you're going to write about something that you, yourself, have not experienced, at the very least do a little research! If you really want to go all full-out, talk. Talk to victims, victim's families, therapists and psychiatrists and psychologists. I know this is unrealistic for many people my age, but it is not too hard to go up to a computer (which I'm assuming you have access to if you post here) and read a couple paragraphs.

And no, Angsty!Fics do not count as research, sorry.

Reporting for duty, the ever irritable Adriana.

Thank you very much for reading. Seize the carp.