I can’t believe I’m doing this. It’s never going to work. Not in a million years...

I wasn’t even concentrating. You know how hard it is to concentrate when your bladder feels like it’s going to explode... How did I get talked into this? I mean, it’s not like I can hop down from here and use the toilet, is it?

He’s making me feel like a dishonest spy. I guess if anyone saw me here they’d call me her stalker, and that’s a lie. I’m not stalking her. Just, as David says, ‘helping her’. Even if I lose her as a friend in the process, I won’t lose her...

I’ve been trying to convince myself that this is for the best, but, although I know it is, I still feel so dishonest. I’m glad David’s not here with me. He’d call me a wimp. Then again, he is dealing with ‘more important matters’. Yeah, more important matters that have absolutely no import at all. He’s a morale booster. That’s all. Why couldn’t he come and do this and let me be the morale booster? He isn’t doing a very good job, and neither am I so far, so why the hell couldn’t we just switch jobs? This is so infuriating... She’s just going to fall out with ME if we get caught, not him, because to her it looks like I’m the only one with a part in this...

I bet that’s his plan. He cares so much he doesn’t want to be caught. How sweet. But he’s letting it screw up MY friendship, which obviously doesn’t matter that much to him.

Geez. I’m not usually this suspicious, am I? I certainly hope not, anyway.

David said she’ll come. I don’t know how he knows. If he asks her to, I bet she won’t. She isn’t stupid. Geez, maybe HE’S been stalking her. Writes down her daily routine or something. Hey, now that’s a scary thought...

No. He wouldn’t do that. Or would he? Well, it IS worth considering...

I really need more faith in my friends.

“David,” I hissed into the walkie-talkie. “David! How do you know she’s coming?” Silence. I stared fixedly at a tree, just across from the one I was in. Man, there really is nothing to do. I still really need the toilet... She’d better be here soon, or I’m abandoning my post! I know that this is important, but so are my needs. I trust in my bladder, thank you! I can’t even believe I’m thinking about my bladder. Now I need the toilet even more. Well, what else can I think about?

The walkie-talkie crackled. David’s muffled voice came across. “Are you doubting me? She’s coming, okay? Don’t question the ways! She’ll be there! Give her another five minutes!”

“David, I just so happen to have urgent business that needs attending to immediately! I can’t stay here all day-“I stopped. There was a figure in the distance. I stared. Could it possibly be her? It looked slightly like it... I squinted against the sunlight. Yes! It was! “Okay, she’s here, she’s here! So don’t talk, yeah!”

“Sure, sure,” he grumbled.” Good luck,” he finished before switching off his walkie-talkie.

I sighed. I was all on my own in this one.

She was walking towards me. I started shaking. What if she found me? She was going to kill me! Beads of sweat trickled down my forehead. She stopped, further away than I’d anticipated. This was good. I hadn’t known where she’d stop, and that was as good a place as any. Now. The next part... I couldn’t do the next part here. I knew that I had to get closer.

But, first thing’s first. Only one thing going through my mind. No, wait! I couldn’t! This was a time when being a guy would be a real advantage... but I’m not, so I had to give it up.

I slipped behind the trees, edging forwards. She was in a place that was quite clear of trees, so it was hard.

Eventually, I hid in some bushes. There was nothing else I could to. She didn’t notice. Too deep in thought or whatever it is she does... Well, she isn’t an airhead, she DOES think.

I nearly jumped out of my skin. It’s her phone ringing. Goodness for coincidences! I was beginning to worry about how to do this. I was just about to spring up and carry out my end of the bargain, when-

“No! Leave me alone! Can I have no space to be on my own! No one lets me be alone, no one understands what I want!” Pause. “What?” Pause. “Leave. Me. Alone.” Long pause. “No you won’t!” Her voice was full of panic. Pause. “NO!” She screamed. She must have cut it off or something, I couldn’t see. She just cried, and whispered: “I hate you...”

She was so upset. I was going to get up and do my part now, when I realized after what I’d just heard, how upset she was. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. I stared up at the bright blue sky. “I’m sorry, David. I can’t do it,” I mumbled, as I shot away from there as quickly as I possibly could, leaving her be in her misery. I felt awful for doing that, but I knew that she’d be so mad if I stayed.

I’ll help you. Just give us some time to find out what’s going on, and I promise we’ll help you. Just hold on.