Fallen Again

I feel so betrayed, so lost, so confused

When you held out your hand,
I took it
It was so warm and comforting,
I felt so safe and protected,
That unbeknownst to me,
I gave you my trust,
And I relieved a guard from protecting my heart

I loved the feeling of having your arms around me
So much, that I
forgot how this had happened before.
how I had gotten hurt,
how my heart had been crushed
I even forgot my words,
"I will not give my heart away again"

And I slowly let down my walls
And I opened my heart more and more to you

I should have known,
that you were too good to be true
I should have known,
that this feeling, this sense of security,
was not eternal

It was all a lie
Your gestures, your acts, your words
And I fell for it,
Again

Maybe you don't know how this feels,
How it feels to be betrayed
This feeling of hurt and confusion

I don't want to see your face again
I'm afraid that what remains of my heart,
will break apart,
when I see that cold indifference in your eyes

My broken heart had not finished mending,
before you broke it again
I don't know how I will recover
I don't know how I will ever trust again

But, for now,
I'll place a mask over my face
The mask I had hoped never to use again
I'll hide my hurt, my anger, my sorrow,
with this face that isn't mine
A face with a broad smile at all times
The face I'll hide behind,
until I can truly smile again

There's this guy I liked. Well, I think I did. Anyway, I thought we might
actually have a chance. But it turned out that he just kind of led me on.
Needless to say, it really hurt. And, it still hurts. As pathetic as I find
myself, I can't help but cry at times.