someone tell me I wasn't dreaming
cause if I was, I just woke up
like stepping out of the warm shower
your smiles shattered to dust
cause every time I looked at your face
I felt like I was seeing through myself screaming
I'm waiting for you to come back and tell me it's okay
in your own little way
other people are trying to put their emptiness above me
but you were always the only one
you're the only one who really loves me
put away the pain to save the day
cause in two, four, eight years it won't matter anyway
pack up your words in their love proof boxes
so none of the emotion can leak out
cause I know you really wouldn't want me to know
what your screaming met by solid walls is all about
you confuse me cause I confuse you
I guess it's only fair
cause everything is all wrapped up in a few chords
light a match to this charged electricity between us
and we'll blow away all the doubt
I told you I'd love you forever
but I don't think you saw it through my fast words
being lonely has become my art
I can cry knowing you're not dead now
the last thing I saw was your hand at the door
you wanted to touch me, it was reaching out
the only things I have left behind
are the scars in the earth and the scrapes in my skin
to prove you were here
and to count that you'll come back again
whenever it's cold and dark I think of your eyes
and the games we play
trying to render each other speechless is a sport
but if you asked me I'd never be able to tell you
words escape me so
I try to sum everything up in numbers
it doesn't work cause there's not an amount for infinity
and our love is infinite
come back and hug me like you'll never let go
cause we both know that you will
when we're both pulled by strings attached
back into our respective worlds where names are sacred
I don't want to doubt this so I cling on
with everything and more that I have
I wonder how much I've thrown away in your name
not half as much as I've gained
by simply remembering your face day to day
I find a place to balance somewhere between
the shallow and the deep where only my tears creep
and I write until my hand is weary and my eyes are red
with drugs I've never taken
my voice is strong in my own ears
but not in anyone else's
and so you are my stepping stones to the other side
to when the numbers of our years say we've grown up
and then it will matter at last to everyone else
even though it's always mattered to us