The club’s crowded, but I didn’t really expect much less, it is, after all, a Saturday night, and nobody spends that home alone, so I was by no means going to be an exception to that. Bodies were pressed against mine, male and female alike, and they served as a reminder that yes, I am real, however the bright strobe lighting gave the scene somewhat surreal undertones.

Looking through the haze of smoke, with the alcohol I’d consumed making the lines seem softer, I made my attempt to find some eye-candy, a toy, just something to keep me amused of a part of the night. It’s not like I have that high expectations, I mean note the use of *part* of the night. There was only one person, as much as I always hate to admit it, who could fully distract me for any length of time. Although it never led to any good.

A hand brushed against my ass, which successfully brought me out of my thoughts. I could feel warm breath dancing across the back of my neck, and I felt myself being filled with lust and desire. Never mind I hadn’t even seen the guy, oh I knew it was a guy, unless chicks go around wearing expensive cologne nowadays. Didn’t think so. Anyway, the mystery added to it all so who am I to complain?

His tongue came snaking out, running along the edge of my ear before he started sucking on my ear lobe. His hands were caressing my muscular abdomen (I didn’t work out for nothing). His right hand started pulling at my left nipple and I bit my lower lip to stop myself moaning in delight. It’s a sensitive area, not that I wanted to let on in the midst of dancing couples on the busiest night of the week.

See, I must look rude or inexperienced or something (and I don’t really consider myself as either) because whilst this stranger is there teasing me (and quite well I should add) I’m just stood doing nothing for him in return. I realise this, so of course I have to play the game so that it actually makes leaving the house worthwhile. I could tell that the other was standing closer to me, feeling the warmth of another presence at my back, so I wrapped my arm behind me and unceremoniously grabbed his ass, and I could clearly hear his sharp intake of breath. Nice to see I can still surprise people from time to time. My hand moved upwards, working any tension out of his back by kneading the area at the base of his spine.

Then he startled me by spinning me around so that we were stood face to face. ‘Nice eyes,’ I found myself randomly thinking as I looked into his chocolate orbs, that seemed surprisingly warm for this type of place. As his lips pressed against mine, teasing the lower lip for entry, my thoughts changed. ‘Nicer lips,’ was my new focus as I replied to his silent (slight moans excluded) pleading by parting my lips slightly. It was all he needed. We were soon exploring each other’s mouths, then I turned to suckling on his tongue and running my own across the roof of his mouth. He moaned into the kiss and I inwardly smirked, pleased to see I still could work my magic.

My hands were continuing with the previous kneading motions underneath his pale grey shirt and my eyes wandered to the side, at the other people that were crowding the dance floor. Yeah, I have a short attention span. Then a flash of blue caught my attention, and before I knew it I was pushing the other guy away. I didn’t even know his name. Oh well. I started towards where I’d sighted him, still not knowing what I was doing, but I knew that from the frustrated calling of “fucking tease!” the grey shirted guy wasn’t too pleased. Didn’t bother me, but Anthony did. Why the fuck would he be here? Better yet why did I care? It was bad enough that I had to endure his presence at college but to willingly give up a ‘good’ time to seek him out? It wasn’t right, yet it was strangely perfect, and definitely typical.

Where was the blue haired freak? Just thinking about him I felt a mixture of love and disgust. What was a horny guy to do? I sighed. Anthony wasn’t exactly athletic or inconspicuous so he couldn’t have gone far, and I doubted that I just couldn’t see him. I hate him. I don’t care what people say about me- he’s a bigger tease than I am, but people refuse to believe it. It was the fucking puppy eyed look that did it. Wide aquamarine eyes, shining, and nobody could resist. I can tell you that I tried for all the good it did me, which wasn’t really a lot.

It had been like this for some time. I wanted him, I hated him. I had zero idea what on earth went on in that mind of his, and so I just tried my best to keep hating him, although you’d think the fact that my body was telling me something different would be a big tip off. Well, I’m pretty good at ignoring what’s going on in front of me, it’s how I survived my childhood, although I had my best friend to help me along the way. But what can he do to help when the one I’m having trouble with is him? So bit and bit we just grew apart, until I realised that hating him would be easier than coping, and that’s what I’m doing now.

No, wait… Aren’t I looking for him? Sigh. Things used to be so much easier. I was so caught up in my thoughts I walked into somebody, which resulted in us both getting cold alcohol down the fronts of our shirts. I looked up, about to apologise, after all it was sort of my fault, when I realised who it was. Anthony. Just the person I was telling myself I should be avoiding, yet I seemed to be seeking him out. Great.

“You should watch where you’re going,” I informed him, voice emotionless, stating fact. Fuck it, it’s not my fault anymore.

“Yet strangely enough it was you who walked into me,” he retorted, voice just as cold. Can’t you just feel the love?

“Whatever.” I knew that I should just walk away, it would be the safe, sane thing to do. Strange, how I wasn’t doing that. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you know it’s dangerous for little kids?”

He rolled his eyes, not really seeming impressed. “Yet I’m still here. Oh look, I also seem to be staying here, so feel free to fuck off, or some random guy you probably don’t even know the name of, and leave me be.”

Originally that was my plan, but now, I think that I’d be too distracted. Besides how could I leave him alone here? This place… wasn’t exactly nice and friendly. Rather the police or gangs were a frequent guest, but it was really the best place to meet people for one night stands so… that’s why I kept coming back. Something to help me forget. But I couldn’t stand the thought of Anthony being some guys one night stand, or worse getting in too deep with some of the shady characters.

“How did you get here?” I asked, suspecting that Anthony wouldn’t have expected that question.

He glared at me, before deciding to answer. “My motorbike…” he told me, somewhat hesitantly, but how he said it hardly mattered, because he’d just confirmed my suspicions. “Well you can’t be drinking then, so I did you a favour.” Heaven forbid he crashed that stupid bike of his.

Chuckling to himself he said to himself, “Oh my, it almost seems like you care. Now why on earth would I be thinking that when you’ve proven time and time again you couldn’t care less!”

I sighed. It was true. I’d hurt him in the past, but then again he’d hurt me as well, but I already knew that I didn’t matter to him.

What a mess.