|Hating The Little Girl Of October
Author: Faithless Juliet PM
The father bowed his head heavy and heavenlyRated: Fiction T - English - Drama - Words: 290 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10-29-04 - id: 1748589
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Hating The Little Girl Of October
-Dedicated to the part of me that was lost-
The father bowed his head
does this conversation hang in the air.
like goblets of wine
from the sky onto the window panes.
I held my grandfathers hand
for my own description
to fall from my fathers lips.
Who was I?
Am I that little girl still?
The sea was in view
and I gazed down on it
from this penthouse view.
was something else then
something highly different from what it is now.
My grandfather is old
but well preserved
and his hands
are like my fathers
but I wasn't afraid of them.
Stucco walls surrounded me
and I realized that I was the only one who came
the only child at this large table
and the only child who would later go to Gudrun's funeral.
I'm not ashamed
of my position
as the lovely strong one
in this crowded hall of Wilson's and Ex-Wilson's,
everyone else in between.
I don't know who I am in this mix
being so different and so torn away from the rest
starting with that 9-11 call
and ending now
not to mention the two weeks of hospital visits that followed.
was only the half of it.
that little girl
holding her grandfathers hand
slipped away from me
that day in March
when for once I was the center of gravitation
for all of these marvelously normal people.
I am positioned
to be the bad one
the one in the wrong
never chose that position
have never known anything else.