Hello, you're watching FAX News, a 24-hour advertisement for the Republi- er, I mean, a Balanced and Fair look at world events.

“Hello, you're watching FAX. Carry made an important speech yesterday that could decide the outcome of the election in his favor, so we're going to cover it up with a report on a subject nobody cares about anymore. Wait, nevermind, American Model doesn't eve deserve to be mentioned. So, instead, we go to reporter John JamesJingleheimersmith, who is out in Irake.”
Camera pans to John, sitting in front of a green screen. Voices could be heard, whispering “Turn it on!”
“Thank you, anchordude. Now, here in Irake, president Shrub has made great progress. Only 500 people died yesterday! Of course, that was the remaining population, but we won't mention the truth. Anyway, I... uh... saw a kitten today! Yeah! That means Carry sucks, and Shrub is the Messiah!”
“Thank you, John. We now go the the O'Really Factor.”
“Ohhhh yeah, that way, that way-”
“Bill?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. Hello, you're watching the O'Really Factor, hosted by me, Bill O'Really, as I tell you to shut up within two seconds if you're a Democrat, and praise you if you're Republican. We have here a “famous” liberal called Idontknowthisguy Whatshisface. Idontknowthisguy?”
“Hi, Bi-”
“SHUT UP!”
“I'm just saying-”
“SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” O'Really yelled into a megaphone into a microphone, effectively blasting poor Idontknowthisguy's face off.
“That's all for the O'Really Factor.”
“Now, time for Vanity & Colds.”
“Hello, it's -Insert number here- days until Shrub is re-elected, as you can see by this chart right here.”
The chart, called Carry Sucks Worse Than Been Laden, was upside down, making it look like Shrub's approval ratings were going up.
“The chart's upside-down, Vanity.”
“No it isn't, Colds.”
“But everything-”
“No it isn't.”
“B-”
“NO!!!!!”
Colds was silenced.
“That's all for Vanity & Colds, along with FAX news. Good-whenever, fellow Republicans, or Democrats, Liberals, or Conservatives we've tricked into believing Carry is communsit.”