Chapter 1: Click That Send Button

"Oh my God, he replied!"

You shriek in excitement, as you click on the link that would open his message. Feel your hands get cold and clammy. You are way too excited about it as finally, you will be able to get in touch with your grade school crush.

"Ten years, ten years..." keep chanting softly to yourself, "waited this long... finally... sa wakas... ten years... di ko na kaya 'to."

The page loads really slowly and you curse your internet provider under your breath. Tap your fingers on your desk, raise your eyebrows in an impatient manner. Sigh and reach for the can of Coke and gulp down the remaining contents. Crush the can in annoyance and throw it into the nearby bin.

"Why does it seem that when you are waiting for something really important, it loads so darn slowly?" you blurt out loud, just as your bestfriend Jackie comes in your room and drops herself on your bed.

"Oi, what's your problem? Anong tini-tingin-tingin mo dyan sa computer?" She retorts. "You seem so focused. Anything serious?" her high-pitched voice disturbing your peace.

Turn to look at her and give her a mischievous grin. "Nag reply siya!" you shriek, stand up and jump excitedly, flailing your arms about. Start dancing the jig, even if you do not really know how to execute the steps. Give a high kick. Much to your bestfriend's surprise. And yours, too.

"Who replied to what?" Jackie asked as she went to sit in front of your computer and inspects the webpage you are at. "And stop that dancing nga, Betsy, para kang sira. You're out of your goddamned mind."

And so you do. Stop dancing and stood behind her as your both read the message. The message is just a one-liner. Your heart suddenly couldn't breathe out of sheer dissapointment.

Hi. Yeah, I remember you. Thanks for adding me.

That's it. That's all you've received after spending about two hours the night before, trying to construct a really good message, writing like mad, thinking if your message would sound too eager, hoping in your innermost thoughts that he really would be able to remember you after all these years.

One-liner. Not even a smiley face included. Everyone uses smileys nowadays. Does it mean he doesn't really like you or whatever? Isn't it that even if they don't mean the nice things they say, some people put on smileys to at least be able to "convince" you? Shouldn't he just have lied instead and put on a smiley face just to make you a little bit happier? But then you scold yourself. Foolish girl. Paranoid. Your glass of a heart suddenly cracks. But then it shatters as Jackie goes on with her incessant rambling.

"Yan lang excited ka na? Babaw ha." was Jackie's annoying reaction. "Who is this guy anyway? And how come you got a friendlinx account? I thought you said you would never open an account in any social network? You sent a message to this guy before even adding me to your list? Huh? Huh?" She asks one question after another. Your bestfriend could be so tiring at times.

"Hey, hold on to your horses!" you remind her. "Don't worry, I'll answer your questions."

Sigh and lay down on your bed. "I can't seem to resist that friendlinx. I mean, much as I tried to stay away. Lots of people have it. I thought maybe it won't hurt if I try what most people are into, for a change. Maybe it's not so bad at all. I just signed up last night, though," you calmly explain, but then falter when you begin to speak of your former crush. "And about the guy... well... that guy was my crush back in grade school," you sheepishly admit, "I think it won't hurt. Do you? Besides, I just want to reconnect with old friends." You take a deep breath, quite ready for the laughter that you are sure Jackie would soon let rip. And let rip she does.

"Grade school? Grade school?" she asks, unbelieving, dropping to the carpeted floor and roaring with laughter. "Ang lakas ng tama mo ha. That's, like, a decade ago, Bets. It would be a surprise he really does remember you."

Sit up on the bed and fold your arms in front of you, feigning annoyance. But deep inside you are hurt. You've liked that guy and pined over him for the last ten years. "Ano'ng gusto mong palabasin, desperada ako?" You confront Jackie.

She stop howling with laughter, and sit beside you, wiping the tears from her eyes that she got from laughing too hard.

"Not really," she says softly as she puts an arm around you, "eh minsan lang kasi kita makitang ganyan. I rarely see you get so worked up just because of one guy," she nods and removes her arm around you, then lay down on your bed, resting her head on a heart pillow, "But I swear, can't you let it rest? The guy doesn't even seem to actually remember you."

"What do you mean?" You inquire, raise your eyebrow, then continue, defensively, "He just replied telling me he remembers me. Duh."

"Hay naku!" Jackie gives an exasperated sigh and looks at you, "obvious naman na nagpapaka-gentleman lang yan ano... Guys are just like that. Of course pa-pogi points yan sa female population. Kunyari pang mga sincere."

"Ba't parang ang bitter mo? Palibhasa iniwan ka na ng bf mo. Yung nakilala mo sa chat!" You accuse her, and she suddenly get rigid and silent. You feel that you were able to touch a nerve in her. So you go back to sit in front of your computer to let it pass. You begin to think of a nice reply to your former crush's message. Hoping that this time, you would be able to extract more from him.

And so you begin to type.

Hi Rupert, I'm so glad you still remember me. I checked out your
profile. Tipid sa info, ha. What university are you attending now?
And what course are you taking up? Wala lang. It's been quite
awhile kasi. Like... ten years din ano? Anyways, hit me up. I'll
write you a testimonial sometime. Tc. - Betsy

You read your message over and over again. You think it's too demanding. And so you revise it.

Hi Rupert. I'm glad you still remember me.

You stop and think. Should you tell him that you looked at his profile? What does it matter anyway? That's the point of it all, really. Profiles are made to be viewed, right? But then the little chicken that you are thinks that letting him know could be read as eagerness on your part. Besides, it's understood that one checks out another's profile before sending a message, right? So stating the obvious would mean being to demanding... not to mention stupid. So you decide against it and continue writing.

It's been like ten years since we last saw each other. Do you still
recall our classmates? You know, you used to hang-out Emman, Ralph
and James. I have contact with Emman and James, if you want to get
in touch with them. But I haven't heard from Ralph in a long time.

No! A little voice screamed on your head. You can't say that. He could put it as if you're using his friends to get close to him. No. Hit backspace. Delete the whole paragraph. And you're back at ground zero.

Hi Rupert. I'm glad you still remember me. It's been, like, ten
years since we last saw each other. How are you?

Think of what to write next.

"You know, you could just ask him if he has messenger." A voice interrupted your concentration. You suddenly remember Jackie's presence. And you find her standing behind you, her eyebrow raised and naughty smile on her face. All's well between you and her.

"I can't ask him!" You protest, resting your chin on your hand, pouting and staring at the monitor.

"Then maybe you could give him your handle," she suggests, "let him make the move. You've already given the hint."

"Brilliant."

Smile back at her, then get back to fiddling at your keyboard.

Hi Rupert. I'm glad you still remember me. It's been so long, di
ba? Anyway, if you'd like to catch up hit me up at my messenger. My
handle is: sweet_angelxx. Hope to hear from you. Tc. - Betsy

You read the message again, look up at Jackie and ask, softly, "Think this is ok?"

"Yep, send it," she nods in encouragement. "Let's just hope loverboy gets the hint. Or he'd be the most insensitive wart in the world," she added with a smirk.

Cross you fingers and hope for another reply from him. He did reply to your message last night. You think that maybe he's not an insentive wart after all.

And so you click the send button.

Xenia Maria B Solano Ch1, Click That Send Button - 03 11 2004