well here is the revised/rewritten version of chapter 1. I'll update chapter 2 as soon as i'm finished.

CHAPTER 1

Invasion!

Rain poured down as the thunderstorm raged on. Standing in a clearing, Griffan, allowed memories to come flooding back. It was on a day like this twenty years ago that he had let down his best friend, King Remus. The day Queen Arianna and little Prince Ty were lost. The day that Griffan failed his friend and his life fell apart.

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Griffan was a dragon. He had pitch-black scales that had an iridescent shimmer in fire or sunlight. He was sleek and lithe like a cat and had huge leathery bat wings. He had a fine lizard-like face with a tapered muzzle and prominent eye ridges. His eyes were like most dragons' in that they shifted colors with his moods, though mostly they remained a greenish blue-gray. His dorsal spikes were gracefully curved hooks, which ended at the base of neck and then began again where his tail joined his hindquarters.

Griffan was an unusual dragon in many ways, probably the first and most obvious being that his best friend was a human. In fact, though most people didn’t know it as the majority of people feared dragons, he was Remus’ chief advisor. He was the councilor that lived in the shadows of the palace never seen by anyone but those who needed to know him. The fact that, like all dragons, he was in reality too large to fit inside a human dwelling was solved by the fact that he was a mage. Earlier in his life Griffan had learned the advantages of being able to fit into places he should not have been able to go and had developed a spell to change his size at will. Allowing him to maintain the size of a horse while living in the castle and not be in anyone’s way.

Remus wasn’t listening when Griffan answered his question, he was gazing out of the castle window, through the sheets of rain, at the small shadowy forms that rode quickly toward the moat and lowered drawbridge.

Griffan watched the tall black haired king anxiously. He was worried about Remus; he could see the droop in the strong shoulders, the dark circles under the blue eyes, the hard set of the square jaw. The king’s clothes were a bit looser on the once strong, muscular body. It was beginning to be all too obvious that Remus was losing weight. The Galarathon situation was taking a toll on his friend. He had too little sleep, always awaken with new reports from the border. And too little food as his meals were always interrupted by messengers. The little time he had to rest he whittled away with worry for his people.

“Sire, Sire? … Remus what is it? Don’t stand there staring it’s making me nervous!” Griffan said, shifting his weight worriedly.

“Hmmm… Oh! I’m sorry my friend but there’s someone riding fast for the drawbridge. I thought it might be Andrew returning with the scout patrol. But there are much too few riders for it to be the patrol.”

“Remus…That is the patrol …Or what’s left of it! I can see Captain Andrew riding out in front. OH NO!…” said Griffan, whose eyesight was better than a hawk’s.

“What’s wrong, Griffan don’t say oh no, what is it, what’s happening down there?!” Remus cried in alarm.

“They’re being shot at, I can see the arrows! Some of the patrol has already fallen; they’re barely going to make the gates! OH NO!”

“OH NO! What’s OH NO?!” yelled Remus.

“They’re being chased by goblin warriors! Goblin warriors carrying Galarathon’s flags!” Griffan screamed. “It’s an invasion, Remus! We’ve got to get out of here, go get Queen Arianna and Ty, we need to go before they reach the castle!”

“No, Griffan, I can not abandon my people to enslavement and death. Take Arianna and Ty, protect them with your life, all hope rests on you getting Ty out of here safely!” Remus cried and with that he raced toward the drawbridge.

Griffan hurriedly found Arianna and Ty and led them toward the North Battlements where he could fly them away from the castle. Already the sound of battle was ringing through the halls as they ran along the passageway. They turned the corner only to find it blocked by goblins. They turned around and found more coming up behind them. Turning back, Griffan charged those blocking the way, somehow managing to pull Arianna through safely, but receiving the spear of a large armored goblin in his side. Roaring in rage and pain, the dragon threw a ball of mage fire at the goblin, burning it to ashes. Then pulling the spear from his side, he snapped it in two and flung the pieces at the remaining goblins, who stood gaping in horror at the black dragon engulfed in magical fire. Griffan then turned and hurried after Arianna.

They encountered three other goblin squads all of which Griffan managed to deal with. However he was becoming weaker by the moment, with two barbed-arrow shafts buried half their length in his side and several severe blade wounds. They had finally reached the north wall when a large squadron of goblins surrounded them. Griffan placed himself over Arianna, who was clutching her son, shielding them from attack. He faced overwhelming odds and was almost at a point of collapse, when Remus suddenly appeared from out of nowhere wielding his own magic, blue lightning that burned goblins to a crisp, and carrying a sword sheathed in a golden scabbard. Tossing the sword to Griffin he cried,

“Take the sword and get out of here now!”

Suddenly an arrow came from out of the darkness and lodged itself in Remus’ back. He fell to his knees as he cried for Griffan to take his family and go. Arianna handed Ty to Griffan with a grim look on her face and said,

“Take care of him, my friend, someday he will return to free Fynncara. Go now, and may the gods be with thee!”

And she turned away to help her husband, blue mage fire spilling from her hands. Her blonde her swirling around her, blue-green eyes flashing with rage. Griffan paused a moment, watching his friends fight the inevitable. But searing pain lancing through his shoulder brought him to his senses. And taking his prince and the king’s sword he charged for the battlement edge. Leaping over the side he threw open his wings and glided toward the shore of the moat. But as he neared it he saw goblin archers waiting on the bank and quickly dropped into a dive, crashing into the moat. Once underwater he sped along the shoreline coming up two hundred yards away. From there he swam forward above the water until he was far from the fighting. After he had climbed out on the bank he collapsed with exhaustion.

When Griffan awoke both sword and child were gone. It took a few moments for the realization of the night’s events to sink in. Then with a heavy heart, Griffan began searching for his precious burden. Griffan had no idea how long he had lain senseless on the bank but he did know from the tracks in the muddy bank that it was a human who had taken the baby, a girl. But the tracks disappeared once they reached a field and with it still raining, Griffan knew the trail would be erased. He could only hope that, wherever he was, Ty would be safe, along with the sword. And Griffan also knew that he had to get away from the area, that Galarathon would be looking for him, not believing that he had drowned. He could only hide in one place, the Dark Forest. But before he could travel he would have to heal himself. Luckily he knew a few healing spells that required only minimal effort. However in his weakened state even these simple magical efforts expended all his energy and he collapsed in the field.

Sometime later Griffan awoke to the sound of voices nearby.

“Do you think it’s alive?” said one.

“Don’ know but I do know it’ll be dangerous if it is ‘live,” replied another.

“What’ll we do with it if it wakes up, Joseph?” asked the first voice. Griffan didn’t hear the reply because he was busy trying to move so as to see the speakers and finding it difficult because ropes restricted him.

“Hush there, Jack, I think ‘ee’s wakin’ up!” cried Joseph.

“Well let’s take a look-see then,” said Jack as two teenage commoner boys appeared in Griffan’s field of vision.

“Con oou take these ropes offf my mouff,” mumbled Griffan.

“Wow, Joe, ‘e talks!” cried Jack in surprise.

“Corse I talk oou ‘imwit! ‘Ow ‘ntie meee!” growled Griffan.

“I don’ know, you might bite us or somethin’, I’s heard o’ dragons doin’ all kinds o’ awful stuff ta people.” said Joe. Griffan rolled his eyes.

“I’m not goin’ to bite oou! Just ‘ntie my mouff at least so I con breave and talk!” cried Griffan irately.

“Okay, come on Joe, I’d like ta be ‘ble ta understand wot ‘es sayin’,” said Jack.

“Alright, but you untie ‘im and just the mouth,” Joe said.

“Thank you! Now you can just untie the rest of this mess. I won’t hurt you!” said Griffan seeing the apprehension on their eyes.

“I don’ know, how do we know ta trust you or not?” asked Joe.

“You don’t, just like I don’t know if I can trust you,” said Griffan.

“Okay, just don’t eat us or anythin’,” replied Joe as he removed the ropes. “Now then, just who are you? I never heard o’ a dragon in a field ‘cept those destroyin’ stuff with their fiery breath,” said Joe.

“Who am I? I…Black Flame but most call me Flame,” said Griffan.

“Well, Flame I’m Joseph the baker’s son and this is Jack Floren,” replied Joe

“But how did you end up in this field o’ all places?” asked Jack.

“I crashed in last night’s storm. I had temporarily sprained a wing muscle and lost control in the wind and rain. And I crashed here and lost consciousness,” Griffan lied. “Anyhow I’d best be off now, good bye!” called Griffan taking off. He circled once and then flew off in the direction of the Dark Forest.

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Meanwhile Galarathon, King of the Forbidden Mountains, watched the black shape of the dragon flying away north toward the Dark Forest. His Goblins had taken the castle in a matter of hours, Remus and Arianna were dead, and the dragon had fled. What did it matter that the baby prince had not been found. It was certain that he had died sometime during the fighting. The evil king smiled darkly to himself, chuckling harshly, Fynncara was his!

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