It has been months, do you realize, since we last talked? Months since we last saw one another. Four months, to be exact. Exactly one year we've known each other. One year. Today.

And after four months since you vanished without a trace, you had the gall to talk to me, to try and weasel your way back into my life.

I thought I've forgotten. Well, I thought wrong. Your call this morning made me remember all the things that have just been hiding in the deep recesses of my mind.

For the last twelve hours I wrestled with my heart.

A "Me vs. heart" duel has always been draining. I tried to recall everything in the span of twelve hours. And when there was nothing left to remember, when everything has already been reminisced, I thought it best to leave what we had in the past.

I don't want a repeat performance. Love has been bad business with you and me.

We had happy memories, I know. So we'll leave it at that. At least we have those memories to leave our relationship with some dignity.

I cannot tell you I'm sorry, because I'm not. I mean all the things I say and you know that very well. That is why I never say "Sorry, I never meant to hurt you." That's not gonna happen. That's not gonna be said.

Hey, you fool, I loved you. But this time, I gotta follow my head.

I ain't looking back.

--- Xenia Maria 10 11 2004