Ode To The Brutality Above Me

I tried to run to refreshment

Only to be caught by you

And thrown back

To where I started

Here

Under you

Not physically

But your mercy

Trapped

I’m afraid

I always have been

I will not let you see

My inner self

A wild

Caged

Animal

The water looks good

I want to drink

You know I do

You deprive me

So much

I slowly slide

Down

And down

To sit

In the puddle

The razor blade

An escape

From you

From the Hell

You create

I wish myself

Away to Heaven

Only to arrive

Back in Hell

Please

Please don’t do that again

Please don’t blast the water

I’ll listen to you now

Through my chills and cold

I’ll listen

You want to make love to me

I don’t want you to

I haven’t for a long time

You get what you paid for

Touch me

Fuck me

Leave me

I want the last

And I sob

I can’t have the last

You tell me to shut up

I shut up

You complain

There’s a default in your sex toy

Take me back to the shop

Do me a favor

For once

If I respond

You go all night

It hurts

So much

I gave up

A long time ago

On faking orgasms

Because you somehow tell

The difference

I close my eyes

When you have me

And distance myself

To Heaven

Where you don’t bring that up

Again

I had that affair

Years back

You bring that up

Over

And over

Again

You’re probably fucking hookers

Hypocrite

Like you were depressed

When I was with him

You would’ve been furious

Not destroyed

But then

We don’t know each other

Anymore

Did we ever?

Move your fingers

Don’t stroke me now

You hold the razor now

And you don’t seem

To understand

Why I smile.