Calvin opened the front door and felt his heart fall to the bottom of his stomach. There was Synnore, her emerald eyes embellishing the parade of freckles on her face. Her red hair was tied up into a pony tail and there was a suitcase by her feet. He stood there for a few seconds, staring at the girl in front of him as if she might disappear if he looked hard enough.

“Hey,” she said. Her words began to speed up and merge. “Laura’s parents couldn’t drive me to the train station. Do you think you could drop me off real quickly?”

He was still in disbelief as she asked him. She was standing in his doorway. Why was she standing in his doorway? Why wouldn’t she go away? Calvin had not yet greeted her and had kept his piercing gaze on Synnore this entire time. When he finally turned to the side, he murmured, “Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec.” He closed the door and trudged to the wooden stand where his keys lay.

The feeling in his heart attacked his knees, almost causing him to collapse in his foyer. Calvin, don’t do this to yourself! His mind screamed at him, begging him to stay inside the house and forget the girl outside.

But he walked outside and down the steps leading to his car. Synnore was waiting for him, her hands shoved in her sweatshirt’s pockets. She kicked a pebble at the suitcase by her feet. As soon as she saw him coming down, her lips formed a small smile but he did not acknowledge her. He unlocked the gray car with the click of the remote control. Calvin slid into the driver’s seat, resting his hands on the wheel. He waited for Synnore to take the seat beside him. With the slam of her door, he jammed the key into the ignition and pulled the car out of his driveway.

Please let this go quickly, he prayed to no one. Just let this car ride go as fast as possible.

The asphalt roads he drove through literally became Memory Lane. They passed parks where they used to play and scenic shops and stores that made up the small town. Calvin felt himself especially speeding past each place they used to spend a lot of time at, hoping to kill its place in his mind. As fast as he drove, buoyant voices and laughter crept into his ears as the memories surged before his eyes. He closed them, just for a second, realizing this wasn’t the smartest thing to do on the road. When he opened them, he saw his high school to the right and quietly groaned.

“So how’s school been going this year?” said Synnore, exaggerating the syllables of each word.

“Fine,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes towards the windshield.

“That’s…good to hear.” She let the silence pass for a few seconds. “How’s your soccer season going?”

“I don’t play anymore.”

“You…don’t play anymore?” Her eyes shook with hurt. He winced as he saw them, but turned away.

“No.”

“Did you get too busy?”

“No, I just didn’t want to.”

“Oh.”

In the corner of his eye, he could see her shrinking in her seat. He could tell his short answers pinched at her spirits, making her feel awkward and uneasy. Well good, he thought. Maybe you’ll learn to not speak or see me ever again. Just leave, get out of here. Get out of my life and leave me alone again. Go back to your new home, your new friends, and stop coming back.

The train station was ten miles away but the trip fatigued him, his arms feeling almost sore. She got out of the car, dragging her suitcase beside her before she shut the door. Tiny crystal beads began to scatter against his windshield with the arrival of gray clouds in the sky. The rainy weather seemed to emphasize the chaos at the station. Cars sped along, dropping off their passengers as he did now. Horns, varying in pitch, shouted, “move along” as if to further remind Calvin to make an escape. A few buses released a stampede of people and they rushed towards the train that pulled in with a deafening screech. The rain hurried the expressionless men, the anxious women, and the energetic children splashing through every puddle in a five feet radius.

Well that was it, he thought, and he began to press the gas peddle. As he started to drive away, he felt a sudden burst of air rush into the car. The car shrieked to a start and he looked to the side to the car door open and Synnore struggling to catch up.

“You’re leaving?” she shouted incredulously.

His eyes shifted. “Yeah.”

Synnore laughed strangely, shaking her head. “So I guess this is it? This is the last time I’ll ever see you again?” She sighed in exasperation. “This is it, Calvin. This time, I’m not coming back.”

He stared in horror, but standard repression kept his sudden panic from fleeing. Turning his eyes to the wheel, he locked his voice away. Strands of dark brown hair fell in front of his hardened eyes.

She wasn’t coming back?

“Ever since I moved, I came back at least twenty times,” she began, her voice failing. “The only reason I ever came back was to see you. But you never answered my calls. You were never home when I came to see you. You were always off, avoiding me one way or the other.”

She was waiting for him to say something, to make up an excuse. How could he? Ever since she moved, he had never felt the same. He missed her, his best friend. If he had gone to see her, he would have been painfully reminded that he lost her. Just as he was right now.

It became apparent to her that he would no speak. “Listen, Calvin. I’ll only come back again if you want me to, so I’m gonna ask you this once…” She took a deep breath. “Calvin, do you want me to come back?”

What more could he answer with than silence? How could he tell her he couldn’t stand being so far from her? How could he tell her he needed to permanently obliterate his addiction, eliminate the pain by refusing her company?

He couldn’t tell if it was rain trickling down her pale cheek but the sadness in her eyes hinted otherwise. She closed the door without word, disappearing into the crowd of people and umbrellas.

She was gone.

Calvin began to drive away from the station, leaving the commotion the small town boy was not used to. The rain nailed the glass in front of him a little harder, but it was not the weather that distorted his focus.

Synnore was gone and he didn’t care. He could completely erase her from his mind and move on. Once upon a time they were best friends but he didn’t need her anymore. Not the heartache nor the happiness in their conversations. Not the deserted park, the empty seat in the lunch table. Not the best thing that ever happened to him. No, not anymore.

“Stop it, Calvin,” he snapped aloud as he swerved his car to the right.

He had to get her out of his mind. He had to stop thinking about how her meandering, rain soaked hair danced from side to side as she vanished from his life. He had to stop thinking about the way she looked at him with those somber, viridian gems, glinting slightly from the presence of moisture. He had to stop thinking of her.

Calvin decided that he hated her. He had always hated her. She had never been important to him, never his friend. She brought him only suffering and he would loathe her for the rest of his life.

There, it was decided.

With the pull of a lever, the car was parked in his driveway. The entire ride seemed to sprint past him in seconds and he found himself staring at the garage door. He sunk into the comfort of the leather seat, shifting his vision to the refuge of darkness. Burying his face into his hands, each finger creating multiple layers, he felt his heart erupt. He was empty. Calvin had never known such despair, a throbbing in his chest. She had left him and now he was so alone.

There was greater pain in losing her.

He hurried out of his car and slammed the door. Flipping out the cellphone in his jacket pocket, he pressed a speed dial that had forever existed but had never been exercised in the last year or so. The droning tones were interminable, but finally he heard the only voice that could ever console his falling spirit.

"Please come back," Calvin exhaled, his pleading inflection retreating to a whisper. "Synnore, please come back."