To whom it may concern,
…to whom it does concern.
Because it does. Oh, it does.

Because to be everything isn’t enough. Eternity is too long.
And my grave is my own.

To shut the world out with my eyes, to break everyone I approach.
To twist the needle in a shattered heart kept together by the song of broken promises.
By the light of a bloodied moon, by the sight of a fallen star.

To be a shadow outside a faded window.
To haunt broken mirrors in worlds that don’t exist.
Do you know of what I speak?
Do you know what it is to be loved?

...I wish by gods that cannot see...

Naked at the sound of dead doors opening,
Filled with the pain of an entire world.

To be everywhere but here, to love everyone but you.
To give words like rain in the night.
Meaningless.
Sleepless.

And yet I breathe. And yet I live.
When the world dies with me, it shall say
She Was ...gone

I.

To speak in the tongues of those with none.
To hear the songs of the mute, the visions of the blind, the lives of those who are not.

Me.

Naked.
Bloodied.

And yet… yet… empty.
All my pain bleeds across the papers that are not mine.
Into the images that fade away into worlds I cannot follow.
Because it’s for me.
Because it’s for you.

Because I would kill you.
Because I fade away.
Because there is no me. Only I.
And my grave is my own.

Eyes like the north sea, like the deserts of ice.
Green like frozen hope.
Like dead wishes, crystallised.

Because I could give you
Nothing
And because you would never ask.
Because you walk with the dead in the pain of the living.

Because those who love you are afraid.
Because you are afraid.

Because I am not.
I am not.
I am naught.

Grey pearls swirl around the I.
Pearls of mist.
Frozen ice.
Mine.

Words like the frozen drops of heaven; hard.
Because you would break. And I could learn.

But I won’t. You know I won’t.
You can see it in my laughter.
In the lines around my eyes.
They are too kind.
Are you afraid?

Are you awake?
Are you looking for my love in the rain?
In the shadows of the cars, in the refracted light of broken beer bottles? Are you?
…is it golden?…yellow?

You would paint me the stars with a crippled hand, you would break the chains of the oceans with your wounded mind.

If I asked.
If I asked…

But no.
Infinity is a no.
And infinity is
No.

A dream that was never touched, a word that was never spoken, an outline never filled.

You love
For me,
For you

For nothing.

My eyes should never cry. Ice does not yield pain.
Only my soul bleeds.
Pouring into non-existence, where it is mine

Only mine.

I am mine,
And my grave is my own.