Author’s Note: I’m not going to explain it. This one and “I fall again” are both very personal. You have to know me really well to completely understand it, and the references ( the streetlamp). You may find that funny or at least strange. I only wanted to remark that it isn’t.

There’s no one to hold me here

I’m alone again with all my fears

You’ve won once more

No, I don’t want to be like before!

I don’t want to feel this way about you

I only want to know if it’s true

That it’s not worth to believe

If there isn’t ever a recompense for me.

I only have to reach out and take the pills,

And all the pain will end forever for me,

I will not feel anymore I’m not what I want to be

What I have to be, that there is not what I need.

It’s only fear that keeps my hand writing

Because my heart has long been losing what it’s fighting

And tears in my eyes have never been this bitter,

And my war between envy and love is still hidden.

I don’t want to be a fucking streetlamp,

But anyway I wish I was,

Because all my pain would be gone in a flash

And I would never again feel, love, need, envy, want!!