Author’s note

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, writing is not something you do on your own. At least I don’t. There is always someone you brainstorm with, someone that helps you to reach that much needed breakthrough, or just someone who is there with a glass of cola or a hug on the moment you need it the most.

Homecoming has been different than my former projects, mostly because it was so short and violent and insane. To me it felt like a rollercoaster ride that I couldn’t get out of. This story took a lot of energy. Because it was so wild and intense, it drained me so quickly that right now, when I’ve just finished the story, it feels like my brain is melting.

The story is based on an old story that I’ve written when I was sixteen, much like True Friendship, really. This one’s been tweaked heavily, though. The only things I had that have might be fun to read out the notes that I had early August of this year:

busaccident, a class with pov’s – split into parts: before the accident, during, and after

main chara best friend of perfect girl who is rich, pretty, smart. Jealousy vs Love.

With only this in mind, I started listening to Matthew Good’s ‘Beautiful Midnight’ album. And more specifically: ‘A Boy and His Machine Gun’ and ‘Jenni’s Song’. These songs inspired me, together with Michael Moore’s documentary, to write a story about a ‘Bowling for Columbine’ kind of scenario.

From there on, I constructed the story bit by bit and piece by piece. Jenni was first, constructed around the basic behavior of someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder (and the songs) and from there on Kayley was born (back then I called her Lesley btw). On 23 Augustus, I scribbled down:

There would be one sort of nemesis. Someone who's gone completely insane while no one noticed. Preferably the girl in Jenni's song... someone who is dearly loved by her best friend, who is even feeling terribly jealous and can't help loving her for being so pretty/smart/lovable/witty - the helpless kind of love that Manille felt for Lyce in True Friendship. Something you can't do anything about. Jenni's friend would be the most forward main character then, I suppose.

It would be so beautiful to have this scene where Jenni's friend is one of the only survivors, holed up somewhere, and then we have that quote of "No one's coming home" and "fuck you and your principles" - that would be so, so pretty. I can already see it just like that... Jenni standing in her jeans and babydoll, with bloodsplatters on her face and on her white babydoll, her arms. She is holding a machinegun in her hands and she looks kinda lost, kind of not-there, and she says these things to her friend, about to kill her. It's such a very, very strong image.

From there on, snippets of conversations and strong images started trickling in. I worked my way through a bunch of supporting cast members and then suddenly on August 30, I had an idea, an association

It would almost... ALMOST make me think about Kayley joining Jenni's cause.
I don't think it would work... but if she would break, mentally... if she would be fighting depression... if she might have just lost everything somehow...
It's a nice thought to play with.
I don't think it'll happen, but it is an interesting thought.

The story about the robbery at the gasstation exists since 2000; it was an entry for a story contest that I entered. I tacked this piece of history onto Kayley so she would have a reason to break: déjà vu and unsolved issues with what had happened to her previously. She started out as ‘just’ a new student, but then she developed a whole background.

Birgit and Martine were born, and they came out just the way I wanted to. The girls were so pliant and let me do with them what I wanted to. Ethan, Nathalie and Brendan were total surprises. Initially I created Ethan so there’d be a guy surviving, and I wanted him to pair up with Martine, but I was stupid enough to place him next to the exit when the shooting started and he ran for the hills and the nearest phone. Smart move, Ethan.

Brendan did not even exist before I started writing him. He was just a name, a roommate of pothead Mike, and all of a sudden he was there, and he got a fanbase from my readers. I wanted him to survive as much as everyone else did, but he gave his life for Nathalie unexpectedly, and all I could do was let him go.

Nathalie was not supposed to get screentime either but she kind of dragged it out of me, bullied me into it by pushing her way into the limelight. I don’t really like her – she’s rather bad-tempered, but I do feel for her.

And from there on, the race was on. November started and I started writing frantically. The story unwound itself and spun characters and dialogues, and I just wrote them out as they came. First I worked up to the point of Jenni’s unexpected entrance, and later to Kayley’s betrayal. After that I had a moment of total blankness because I had NO fucking clue who would live and who would die: all I had was an image of the roof terrace in the darkness.

This was where a brainstorm session with my dear friend Kat saved my butt. She goaded, proposed, rejected and bullied me into working with ideas, stimulating everything to click together in the end. Once I had that settled, I just rushed through the last 8100 words and finished on the twelfth day of starting the Nanowrimo challenge.

But I couldn’t have done it without my friends and their support, their feedback, their reading and their suggestions. So far I’ve never written alone, and I hope I never will. Your warmth and interest have kept me sane throughout the insanity, and I’ll always thank you guys for it.

Thank you so much.

Love,

Lanfir Leah