Beneath the Cover

Once upon a time you told me you saved me because you loved me.
Once upon a time, I was grateful.
And we almost lived happily ever after.

But once upon a time, you stopped being such a poster-parent
and showed me the monster in the hero costume
That only took me in to eat me alive.
You horrible elephant woman.

Once upon a time you tried to shape me into a smaller you,
Pressuring me from all sides and having all the advantages--
I could only follow
With an optimistic, naive head full of misplaced trust
Because you said you loved me always.

Once upon a time, I almost became an elephant woman myself.

But once upon a time, I started to realize
You refused to give me what I needed most.

Once upon a time, I'd come home joyously,
Parading a list of hard-earned 'B's that you simply scowled at,
Demanding 'A's instead (for surely they taste better).
Once upon a time, you told me that if I was grateful
I'd feed you better grades and bigger accomplishments.

Once upon a time, I cared that you-- you fucking elephant woman-- were well fed.

Once upon a time, you'd always be mad
Because I had made a mess
Or spoke out in anger
Or left you behind...
But I had a feeling you were angry
Because I was beginning to out grow your stupid fairytale.

So you locked me in a tower when I was bad and told me it was my own doing that put me there.

Once upon a time, you'd yell in my ear while I slept.
And you'd tell me how much you were sick of me,
And how I was ungrateful,
And how you were angry because every argument,
Ever scruple,
Every single tiny fucking problem that occured
Was
All
My
Fault.

Once upon a time, I felt guilty.
I tried to change.

Once upon a time,
I grew sicker and sicker of your blaming,
And your lame attempts to make yourself bigger and fatter
Off of my achievements.
You never said Thank You or Good Job.
Ever.
You simply ate and ate and ate and ate and ate
And if it tasted good you'd demand more,
And if it tasted bad you'd say I did it on purpose,
And then tell me I was sinning against a commandment.
You'd tell me I was ungrateful.

Once upon a time, all that you saw
Were the things I'd done wrong.
And you never missed an opportunity
To shove them in my face,
Or hold them over my head
Forever and ever.

Once upon a time, the only time I heard
'She is wonderful', 'she is great', 'look at the glorious things she's done!'
Was when you'd parade my life in front of your peers--
Lesser demons, not terrible elephan women like yourself--
Like a goddamn show dog
And brag about what a perfect daughter you'd raised.

Once upon a time, I stopped giving two shits about you.

Once upon a time I thought I just might kill myself--
But eventually it came to me
That it wouldn't do any good.
If anything it would only make you angrier
And more spitefull
Because I made you look like a bad mother
And humiliated you in front of everyone.

Once upon a time, you got less and less 'A's,
And the grandois successes became fewer and far in between;
You, the ravenous elephant woman, became hungrier and hungrier,
Until finally you ended my damn suffering and ate me alive,
Chewing and chewing until I was all but spent,
Then you spat my bloody, broken body into Hell,
Right where ungrateful children who did not Honor Their Mothers were supposed to go.
Then you cleaned up the mess I'd made when I died,
Grumbling about how ungrateful I was to make such a mess.

Once upon a time,
you sucked me dry of everything I was,
buiding yourself with everything I gave
and using my life to make yours seem more impressive,
threw me away when I had nothing left for you...

... And told all your friends I'd gone off to college.

The End.