(AN: Sorry for the silly mistake there, when I wrote “Brandon” instead of “Sawyer”. Thanks to everyone who pointed it out. It’s all fixed now!)

Sixteen

I figured then that the best thing for me to do was just go back to the store and not say a word to Sawyer. I wasn’t very good with confrontations, and I knew that I was going to be confronted by Sawyer about what had just happened. I just wanted to ignore it and pretend it never happened. I wanted to pretend I had no idea who that asshole who had been sitting with me in the food court was. But once I stopped and looked back and into Sawyer’s eyes, I knew then that I couldn’t lie.

He followed me all the way back to the store. I hadn’t even looked back at him yet, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t yet said a word. When I was just outside the store doors, he said my name. He said it calmly, not too loudly; just a simple “Dakota”.

I spun around to come face-to-face with him. “Sawyer, can you just go… please?”

He looked confused. “You want me to go?”

I just nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to see that. I’m sorry that I never told you…”

“Shhh, hey, Dakota… don’t worry about it. We’ll worry about that later, another day even. Right now, that shit doesn’t even matter.”

“It does matter, Sawyer. You have no idea how much it matters. I’m sorry. I can’t see you right now,” I told him again.

“You’re seriously telling me to leave?” He didn’t believe me.

I just nodded, this time not saying anything. He actually turned around to start walking away, but turned back to me again. He stepped closer; I stayed where I was. The look on his face was so precious. It was a mix of confusion, fear and sadness, and it was all for me. I knew it. I could feel it. And I knew then that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Dakota, I was sitting at home and just realized that I didn’t want to wait until tonight to see you. I just got in my truck and drove here, just so I could see you, even if only for a few minutes. So I came here, to the store, and Riley told me you were on your lunch break.” He was just telling me the story like it was no big deal.

It was a huge deal to me. He had just told me that he came to the mall just to see me. The concept of that didn’t really make sense to me. I shook my head, not getting it. I wanted to ask why.

“So that’s when I went to the food court and saw you. And you were sitting with that guy… and –“

“Please, don’t,” I practically begged him.

“I’m sorry.” He stepped forward again and reached out and touched my arm. I pulled away, without even thinking. I hadn’t meant to. “Dakota, are you okay?”

“Yeah, uh, well, I will be. I have to get back to work.”

“Dakota, will you please talk to me? Or are you just going to not explain any of that? You’re just going to pretend like it never happened?” He sounded, and looked, a bit agitated.

I couldn’t blame him. I had screwed everything up for us, once again. He must have been sick and tired of all the games I was playing with him. I closed my eyes to think for a moment.

“I can’t go into it right now, not here. Sawyer, I’m sorry.”

He let out a sigh. “Fine. Are you still going to call me when you’re off work?”

I nodded right away, without thinking. “Yes, I will.”

“Fine. I’ll see ya, Dakota,” he finished. He was clearly pissed. And it was entirely my fault.

The rest of the day went by too slow. When Brandon came back to the store around four, I wanted to ask him if I could go home early. I had never left early before. I knew that I would have to tell him why, and I would have to make up a lie. But I really wanted to leave. There were four of us working – five including Brandon – and I knew he would probably let me go, if I asked. But I had to ask him. And I was afraid.

Brandon must have noticed that something was wrong with me, because he kept asking me if I was okay. And I kept telling him that I was. But I wasn’t. And when he asked me for the fifth time in less than fifteen minutes, I decided to tell him the truth.

“Actually, no, I’m not really feeling good.”

“Oh. Did you want leave early?” he asked. I didn’t even asked to him the dreaded question.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you short a person –“

“Look around, Dakota, we’re fine here. It’s not even that busy.” He was smiling. “You’re still gonna come to the party tonight, right? You’re going to come with Sawyer and me?”

And suddenly I wasn’t so sure. I had screwed things up with Sawyer and didn’t even know if he wanted to go to the party with me. I had been a total bitch to him. And I didn’t want to have to explain about Trent – not yet. I wasn’t ready.

“Um… maybe… as long as I’m feeling better…” I finally said.

“What? Dakota, you have to come. Sawyer is really looking forward to it, to hanging out with you tonight,” Brandon told me, almost yelling.

“I don’t think he is anymore,” I spit out, without thinking.

“What? What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Never mind.”

“Oh no, you have to tell me know.”

“No, Brandon,” I raised my voice. “Never mind.”

He gave me a weird look that told me he was concerned. And then he started to walk away, to the back. He looked back and waved at me to follow him. I didn’t know if I wanted to. I knew he was going to get me to tell him about what happened. And I couldn’t tell him. I just couldn’t.

For some reason, I followed him anyway. Once we were alone in the back room, Brandon went on again. “Dakota, what’s going on? You’ve been acting right paranoid all afternoon. And now this comment about Sawyer. What happened?”

I closed my eyes. I knew I didn’t have to tell him. He was just my boss. But it was more than that now. He was also my friend. And maybe it would make me feel better to get it off my chest.

“Brandon… you have to promise not to tell anyone…” I began.

He looked a bit shocked, like he hadn’t thought I was actually going to tell him what was going on. But now I had to. “I won’t, I promise,” he answered.

“I can’t believe I’m telling you, of all people. This is crazy.”

“Hey, you said we’re ‘tight’ now,” Brandon let out a laugh.

I just nodded and took a deep breath. “Something happened today, and no one knows about except for Sawyer, and he doesn’t even know what really happened…”

“Dakota, what?” Brandon urged.

“Okay… um… just know that I’ve never told anyone this before, not even Sawyer. I used to have this boyfriend, and things were really shitty at the end of our relationship and everything… and I hadn’t seen him in, well, almost a year, and then he showed up here today, when I was on my lunch break and he –“

“You were in a bad relationship? That totally makes sense,” Brandon told me, nodding his head.

“It makes sense? Why?” I wanted to know.

“Well, as to why you were avoiding Sawyer so well at the beginning of all of this. Obviously you’d be freaked out to meet someone when you’re coming out of a bad relationship.”

“Oh.”

“But you never told Sawyer about your ex?” Brandon asked.

“No. I’ve never told anybody,” I admitted.

Brandon shook his head again, considering this. And then he had another question. “So what happened, just now, when you were on your break?”

“My ex, Trent, showed up, because he knew I worked at the mall, and he just sat down with me in the food court. He just started talking to me like we were friends,” I began, and took a breath. “And then he started saying stuff like he still loves me and I just freaked out. And that’s why Sawyer appeared, out of nowhere.”

“Ooh. Was there a fight? Please tell me there was a fight,” Brandon wanted to know.

“Pretty much. Sawyer knocked Trent on his ass and then punched him in his jaw-“

“Nice! Go, Sawyer!” Brandon cheered.

I took another breath and let it out slowly. “But I screwed things up, Brandon.”

“What? Sawyer was your knight in shining armor. He rescued you from your crazy ex boyfriend… how did you screw it up?” He looked confused as he stared down at me.

“I told Sawyer to leave. I chickened out. I couldn’t tell him the truth about Trent. And so he left.”

“He left? The mall?”

I nodded.

“You guys are still coming to the party tonight, right?”

“I don’t even know, Brandon. I think that with everything that happened today –“

“Don’t even say it, Dakota. My man’s been waiting too long to get with you to let something like this mess it up. Just go home and call him. Thank him. He’ll still want to go to the party, believe me,” Brandon informed me.

“But I don’t know if I want to,” I told him quietly. “I don’t want it to be awkward between him and I.”

“If you tell him the truth, there’s no reason for it to be awkward.”

And I knew Brandon was right. I had to tell Sawyer the truth, even though I didn’t think I could.

I got home at quarter after five. My sisters were there, waiting to hear all about the party I was going to and who I was going with. I told them I would tell them later. I had to make a phone call. I wanted and needed to tell my sisters about the Trent episode, but I knew I had to talk to Sawyer first, before it was too late.

Surprisingly, my sisters didn’t follow me upstairs. I closed myself in my bedroom, flopped down on my bed and dialed the number on the cordless phone in my hand.

It rang seven times. No answer. I turned off the phone, already feeling tears in my eyes. I realized then that I really had messed things up. And I didn’t know what else to do about, besides crying. And so I cried.

Less than ten minutes later, the phone began to ring in my hand. Thank goodness for caller ID. It was Sawyer. I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes before saying hello.

“Dakota?” I heard in my ear.

“Hey,” I said back. He knew that I knew it was him.

“I’m so sorry about that, I was just in the shower and missed your call,” Sawyer told me, making my smile already.

“Oh, that’s okay,” I started. “I totally thought you were pissed and just not answering or something.”

“No, I’m not pissed. But, Dakota…”

“Yeah?”

“What was going on with that guy today?”

I knew he was going to ask that question. I should have been expecting it. But I wasn’t.

“Sawyer… I –“

“Please, Dakota, it’s important to me. Who is he? If you want this to work between us, you can’t keep something like this from me.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking…” I told him. I really had no idea what he was thinking.

“Dakota –“

“He’s my ex boyfriend, Sawyer! I hadn’t seen him in almost a year and he just showed up and sat down there with me. And I hate him and he started talking to me and–“

And that’s when I completely broke down. I started crying again and couldn’t even finish my sentence.

“Dakota, what did this guy do to you?” Sawyer wanted to know.

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I just kept on crying.

“Dakota, please…”

Still nothing. I couldn’t tell him. Even now that I wanted him to know, I still couldn’t bring myself to do it. And I felt horrible about it.

“Fine, Dakota,” he finally said, and then I heard that all-too-familiar click in my ear. He was gone.

I layed back again and cried even harder, for what seemed like forever. I heard my sisters at my bedroom door, asking if I was okay and if they could come in. But when I didn’t reply, they just left me alone. It felt like hours later when they knocked on the door again. This time it was louder. They really wanted to see me. And I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I had to tell them about Trent.

I sat up and wiped my eyes again. When I walked across the room and opened my door, though, I was more than surprised to see not only Devin and Dillon standing in front of me, but also Sawyer. He looked sad, confused and hurt. Without thinking for even a second, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into my room. My sisters disappeared, because they knew they had to. I closed my bedroom door again, crying even harder than before.

“Oh, Dakota,” Sawyer tried to hush me, keeping his arms around me tightly.

“I thought you were going to hate me. I thought you wouldn’t want to hang out with me anymore…” I cried into his shoulder.

He pulled us apart. “Why the hell would you think that? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to get together with you? Do you really think I would throw it all away for something silly like this?”

“It’s not silly, Sawyer! Trent was abusive, he beat me up, he cheated on him, and treated me like shit! And I put up with it, for so much longer than I should have. And then, finally, I got over him and the whole situation, and then you came along –“

His arms were already around me again. “Oh, God, Dakota…”

“I was so scared to get close to you, I was absolute terrified, do you know that? And then when I was finally letting my guard down, then this had to happen.”

“Don’t worry about it, Dakota. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t think any differently of you.” He sounded like he meant it, but how could I know for sure?

“Sawyer, you don’t get it. I mean, I was so looking forward to this party tonight, just so we could hang out, have a good time, socialize… and now I don’t think I even want to go,” I told him.

“What? Girl, we’re going to the party. You, me, and Brandon. And we’re going to have so much fun; you won’t even care about what happened today.”

“How can you be so sure?” I wanted to know.

“Because I really, really like you and I know that if we go tonight, together, there’s no way we could not have a good time.”

“You don’t care that you just got into a public fight with my ex boyfriend, and he threatened you, and everything? That doesn’t even bother you?” I was shocked.

“It’s worth it, Dakota, if I get to be with you.” He was grinning, and I knew he was sincere.

After a few quiet seconds, as the two of us just stood there in the middle of my bedroom, I finally spoke again. “Did you mean it?”

“Did I mean what?”

“When you said that you’re my boyfriend?”

He hadn’t been expecting the question, obviously, but he was still smiling down at me. Without a word, he kissed my forehead. And then, finally, he answered, “If you want me to be.”

And at that moment, I really did. I wanted him to be my boyfriend, even though I was terrified of the word ‘boyfriend’. He was already my knight in shining armor. I nodded up at him, knowing I didn’t have to say anything. And then he kissed me, really kissed me. And I kissed him back. And all was right again. Just like that.