A/N: This is my story. Nothing is made up; everything is fact. It taught me about life, about love, and about moving on. I have no regrets. I've learned from my experiences. And the most significant thing I've learned is the fact that love is truly blind.

Love is Blind
by ShadowGraffiti

I met Colter on New Year's day. My dad had gone skiing with a friend that morning, which meant I got dropped off for snowboard school an hour early. I was unbelievably cold (Arizonians are not good at dealing with anything other than heat) and had earlier determined that I would rather endure standing than freezing my butt trying to sit on the wall.

I was ranting to myself when I noticed someone had sat down on the wall next to me. I stood there a minute, not quite sure what to do, and then turned just a little to see who they were. It was a boy… not a bad-looking one either. I was slightly surprised, however, when I saw him start to get up. He stood up slowly, turned to face me, stuck out his hand, and then introduced himself in the most monotone voice I have ever heard. I thought he was stoned.

I was so shocked that someone my age was shaking my hand--I thought only adults did that--that I forgot to pay attention to what his name was. We talked for the rest of the morning, and I still could not figure out what his name was. We talked about Lord of the Rings, and I found out he was from Oklahoma. Three flipping states away.

Well, of course, the day I got there, he was bumped from my snowboarding group and put in the level above us. I did not get to hang out with him… but I saw him after snowboard school, and then the next morning, and the next afternoon. It wasn't until the last day that I finally learned what his name was: Colter.

The best story I think is when we were all at lunch and his snowboard group was leaving. He waved, and I thought he was waving at me. I raise my hand to wave back when suddenly, I saw the girl in front of me waving… I immediately ducked my hand behind my head and looked down at my plate. When I dared to look up, the annoying boy across the table was shaking his head at me, going: “You dumbass…”

Well, it turns out he was waving at the whole table. He saw me stop waving and got very confused, at which point his friend walked up to him and said: “Dude… she hates you.”

Not good.

But never fear… we exchanged e-mail addresses! Oh joy, I made progress! (please note the sarcasm) Anyway, we started talking online, and he was the irritating type who only gave little one-worded answers. I type annoyingly fast and managed to have 4 line IMs, and he usually replied ‘lol'. Needless to say, I was ready to kill him. I did not feel any hope towards the situation until the day he asked for my phone number. That's when I thought ‘Wow… this might actually go somewhere.'

Hmph.

A day goes by. Another day goes by. Soon, a week, then two, then who knows how many! It was not until Superbowl night when I was hanging out with a friend that I got a call. My friend and I were waiting for a guyfriend to come over, and we were worried he'd gotten hurt or something. So when I hear the male voice on the phone, I shout: “WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! We thought you were dead! Sam was having a conniption, dude, she thought you like… crashed on the highway or something!”

“Um… hello?”

I was like, “Oh shit… who is this?”

And thus began our phone conversations.

At first, we didn't know what to talk about. He would call me on weekends, and we'd have issues coming up with conversations. Then, one day, I told a funny story from school, and it inspired him to tell a story. And then I told a story. And then he told a story. And we finally maintained a conversation. Joy! (kind of…)

One day, he talked his mom into getting him a free-nights plan, and then he started calling me every night. I learned that he was home-schooled, and that he did nothing but play video-games all day. Um… wow, interesting kid, huh?

That was when Jay started liking me. Jay was my friend from school. I did not like Jay back. So when Colter's friend Charlie was over and asked me out for Colter, I immediately saw that as my excuse not to go out with Jay. Turns out, Charlie had been kidding, but Colter and I ended up going out anyway.

By the time I finally visited him, it had almost been six months since we'd seen each other. Healthy relationship, huh? Seriously, though… I got to go on a friday, and the following thursday, it would have been exactly six months since we met. Anyway, I had survived the end of my eighth grade year and had begged my mom to let me visit Colter for a church camp. She finally agreed, and I got to go see him in Oklahoma. I remember how unbelievably nervous I was… First of all, they made me put my carryon in the overhead bin, so I had to sit on a plane for 2 hours with NOTHING to do. Imagine how much excitement builds up in 2 hours.

I got off the plane, and I was fricking shaking. Not just a little scared, I was nervous as hell! Of course, my gate is the farthest from security, so I have to walk all the way up there with my heavy bag-thing, shaking. Heh. So I get to security, and I don't see him. I spun around in a circle, then decided to find my way to baggage.

BOOM! I was attacked! Colter and Charlie popped up behind me and tackled me, which, combined with my shaking, nearly gave me a heart-attack. But I laughed, and then proceeded to talk to Charlie for awhile because Colter and I were too nervous to converse.

At first, I wasn't too sure about Colter. He wouldn't go swimming with Charlie and me (he sat on the side of the pool while we swam! I mean… come on!) We went out to dinner and were walking around afterwards when I noticed tons and tons of cockroaches on the ground. I have a phobia of cockroaches. Charlie was the sweetie, offering to walk in front of me and step on all of them, but Colter just kinda walked… no comfort, just quiet solitude. Annoying. And when we watched 50 First Dates, nothing happened. A little disappointing, but I got over it.

The next day was fun! First, Charlie woke me up by taking my picture, so I tried to kill him. Then, we went to a christian concert… three hours early. Colter got the times wrong. So we wandered around for 3 hours, just causing general mayhem and whatnot. After awhile, we got bored and Charlie's dad took us home so that we could go back later for the good bands. Well, Colter decided it would be fun to watch Fear Dot Com… SCARY! I was curled up in a little ball with my eyes covered within no time. We'd been watching for about a half an hour when suddenly… a miracle!

He put his arm around me. Everyone dance, he actually put his arm around me. Yes, I'm being very sarcastic.

Turns out everyone in the room (his sister, sister's friend, Charlie) had been telling him to put his arm around me for a half an hour before he finally did, so they all started laughing. A little odd, but I was happy.

Then Colter's mom had a bright idea. She decided to get us four shots of espresso. Each. I drank about half (so two shots), then gave the rest to Charlie, so he had a total of six, and Colter drank his four. In the car on the way back to the concert, we were all looking at each other going “Wow, I don't feel hyper or anything… I guess it didn't effect me…” Colter's mom just laughed. Hehehehe…

One hour later.

Colter was sprinting around the parking lot between the stage and the amusement park screaming: “CHICKENS CAN FLY AND SO CAN I!” I still have the scars from where my sandal straps cut into my feet from chasing him all over. That night was truly hysterical… and when I went back to his house for the night, he finally hugged me. Scary how much a simple hug can mean.

Church camp was fun. It took him 3 days to finally get the guts to kiss me… Everyone had been trying to set us up, and around midday on the 3rd day there, we walked down to the church and sat in a little backroom with our friend Angel. He, with a sly smile, got up and said: “Well look at that! I hafta go to the bathroom…” Then ran away and left us alone.

I will never, ever forget what my beloved dork said to me.

“Can I kiss you before anyone walks in?”

True Romeo, that one. And lo and behold, right when we kiss, quarters start falling out of my pocket, and it scared the shit out of both of us. Then, we both burst out laughing. Angel walked out and threw a fit, saying ‘I leave you two alone and nothing happens?!' We reassured him that it was okay, we had kissed, and then he was happy.

So I fell inlove with Colter.

He would hold my hand everywhere we walked, put his arm around me whenever he could, and I got incredibly nervous whenever we kissed. On the bus ride home, he had his arm around me and his head on mine the entire time, and I felt so safe with him. We stayed up until 3 AM watching movies on his couch, and I was so happy. Everything seemed perfect. I almost cried when I left the next day--I don't ever cry--but he reassured me by saying: “Don't worry… we're going to go visit my uncle in Arizona. Just a month and
three days away.”

Well, around the time he was due to visit, my family was planning a trip to Lake Powell. They said I could invite him to come with us for 8 days on our houseboat. Turns out, his family couldn't get a hold of their Uncle, so they just sent Colter out to visit me.

Once again, I was shaking. My friends, Guy and Leah, came with me to the airport and had to buy me a deck of cards to keep me occupied. When Colter finally walked up, I ran right to the security line… and then got so nervous, I forgot to hug him. Once again, we were very nervous around each other. Guy still won't let me forget that.

This was a few days after my birthday, so Colter just brought my present with him. I was in shock… he got me the most amazing gift I have ever gotten in my life! (That was not sarcastic. Neither was that. Or that. Or that…) He got me this beautiful ring that said ‘love...' and a jade pendant with a chinese symbol in the middle. Only problem… he had no idea what it meant. I was a little scared to wear it. (We later found out it meant ‘Good Luck', which was somewhat relieving)

We had good times. We were watching a scary movie with my little brother the first night and he had his arm around me, and when my little brother asked to sit between us because he was scared, we both shouted: “NO!”, then looked at each other and burst out laughing. It was amusing.

Once again, it took him 3 days to kiss me. Actually, I had to kiss him. Both nights at my house, we stayed up together, but I guess he never got the guts. It wasn't until we were staying up together on our boat for the first night that I gave up on him making the move and kissed him goodnight.

Annoying bugger… he spent all day, everyday, playing VIDEO GAMES! We're on a boat in the middle of a gorgeous lake with jet skis, a speedboat, the opportunity to wakeboard, caves and mountains to explore… and he plays video games. My dad would eventually get fed up and tell him no more for the day, so then, he'd fish. I love fishing… but not all day. Leah (who came with us) and I were going to go wakeboarding everyday, but I felt guilty leaving Colter (who refused to even go in the water. Did not get in the water ONCE!!). So we only went wakeboarding a few times, and I barely went jet skiing, because I was the host, so I wasn't supposed to leave Colter. I should've, now that I think about it. Instead, I spent my days on the couch reading, just praying that he would get off the videogames. And then, when he finally did, we'd fish. Wow… once again, interesting kid we have here.

The nights were what made me fall inlove with him. Every night, we'd go down to his room and lie on the floor for hours, talking a little, but mostly kissing. I won't gross you out with the gory details, but I felt so secure with him… I fell inlove. The way he'd rub my arms when he thought I was cold, or have an itch but accidentally scratch my arm instead of his own… There was no denying it. I was head-over-heals inlove with this boy.

I'll never forget the last night. We were back at my house, and he was falling asleep on my floor (he was staying in my brother's room). I walked him to my brother's room and put him in bed, then gave him a hug goodnight. When I tried to get up, though, he wouldn't let me, begging me to stay with him. I smiled at him and figured I'd just wait until he fell asleep, which took all of seven seconds to happen. I started to get up… and then discovered he had his fingers wrapped around my necklaces. It woke him up and he begged me to stay once again. This started a very vicious and endless cycle that probably lasted a good twenty minutes. Finally, at one point, I ran out of ideas… and so I sang to him. I sang the lullaby my mom used to sing me when I was little, and he fell asleep instantly. But, once again, he woke up… and I finally consoled him by putting him to bed in MY bed… then waking him up and hour later and putting him back to sleep in my brother's room. By that time, he was too tired and delirious to protest.

I walked him to the gate at the airport the next day, and my dad was kind enough to let me go alone. We hugged good-bye, and I remember trying so hard not to cry. I'll never forget how sad he looked… I didn't want him to be sad, not at all… but it told me that he would miss me. And it felt like someone actually loved me. He took my hand, pulled me close, kissed me one last time, then whispered ‘Good-bye'. I smiled, then walked away. As soon as I got to my dad, I burst into tears, and I cried so hard, he had to steer me through the airport so I wouldn't hit a wall or anything. I was very embarrassed. I never cry.

We talked for hours every night after that. He didn't remember me singing to him, but when he found out, he was astounded. I was embarrassed until I found out that he was happy about me singing him to sleep. He told me I was the first person to ever sing him a lullaby. I promised him I would sing to him anytime… except over the phone.

My school started about a week later… he, on the other hand, is homeschooled, and didn't have to start. It was just me going through that. But then, my mom told me that if I worked hard at school, I could go visit him. I could go for the Fall Retreat, which was a church retreat at the same place we went to church camp. I was ecstatic.

And I worked my butt off.

For two months, I worked like I've never worked in my life. I got all A's except for Biology and Geometry (Biology because I missed a quiz when I went to my Grandma's funeral and had no idea what it was talking about. I bombed the quiz, but otherwise, i would've had an A. I just flat out hate geometry). I had something to work for, and everyday, I would just think of the look in his eyes when he said ‘good-bye' to me, and it was enough to make me work. It was enough to keep my grades enough, and enough to lose about five pounds at the gym. I loved him, and I would do anything to see him.

I got to miss two days of school for it. On October the 20th, a Wednesday, I drove my friends up the wall because I was so excited. I got to miss the last ten minutes so my dad could drive me to the airport… and, of course, my flight was delayed. I spent all my time waiting and just thinking about what it would be like to see him. I even planned out in my head conversations… like when he asked to take my bag, which I knew he would, I would laugh and tease him by saying it would make him fall over, because he didn't go to school, but I was used to carrying around textbooks.

When I got there, I was at the same, farthest-from-security gate. I was shaking again, but I was so happy. I had worked so hard for so long, and this was it. This was what I was waiting for. I got to see him again.

When I saw him waving to me, I just about fell over myself, I was so happy. For the first time, we hugged each other when we saw each other, and it wasn't quite as awkward as the first two times. He was his normal self that night, asking his dad for five burritos because he's a bottomless pit, making an overly-dramatic apology that he had to stay the night at someone else's house because he knew it would make me laugh… Just Colter.

The next morning, he didn't come back until 11 the next day, so I talked to his sister. He came in and sat on the floor and didn't really talk to me, but I dismissed it. I thought he was just tired. Even if it was 11. Because who worries about stuff like that? Its only me looking back now that I realize that morning was when he first started acting differently.

He kissed me when we were in his room, but other than that, he did not really show much affection. It did exactly bother me... just one of those experiences that you do not think about until later. At the time, you just dismiss it in the back of your mind, because it seems very unrelavent.

When Charlie and their friend Taylor came, I was so excited. Charlie, being his normal self, snuck into the house while Taylor was tackle-hugging me and then scared me from behind. We all got in the car and it was the most amusing car-ride of my life! Me with those guys, this really annoying dude I never talked to, and food from QT. They made me laugh, we sang songs, we played ‘Guess That Roadkill'… we just had fun. I remember thinking to myself ‘This is what I worked for. This is what I came here for.' Colter was talking to his friends, but he was including me, and I was having a good time. I was not left out at all, and I was happy.

So we got to camp. Charlie's hic-of-a-girlfriend became attached to him... annoying. That meant I couldn't hang out with Charlie, because where ever he was, his girlfriend Spencer was. I'd do anything to get away from her. That left Colter and Taylor.

Colter started acting really strange, though I do not remember exactly when I noticed it. He would be really quiet around me, but when we were in groups, he would be really loud. Unlike the car-ride though, he would be talking to his friends and not me… It was like I was not there. I participated in the conversation, made everyone else laugh… but he acted like I was not there. I shrugged it off and decided he was just nervous.

But he did not stop ignoring me. It was like he would do anything to get away from me. Normally, I would think ‘Screw this, I'm here to have a good time! Forget this guy, I'll hang out with someone else!' Well… I couldn't hang out with Charlie, because I would rather be beaten with a brick-stick than be around Spencer. Taylor… Taylor is the type of kid you can be around for about a half an hour before you have to get away. He has A.D.H.D., but doesn't take meds. He's hysterical, but in small amounts. I spent a lot of time with him, though. I learned to deal with it, because I didn't have anyone else.

Colter would randomly disappear, and it was really upsetting. As I mentioned, normally, I would just get pissed, but this really hurt. I had worked for 2 months, flew all that way, and I had no one else, but he was ignoring me. We were all hanging out on the swing-sets, laughing hysterically at Taylor and having a good time I thought… Colter claims he has to go to the bathroom, that he'd be right back, and runs up to the guy's bathrooms.

He didn't come back. In my mind, I was still making excuses, because I didn't want to seem clingy or picky… But I realized what was going on when Taylor, who never notices anything, turned to me and said:

“So… how many times has Colter ditched you?”

I wanted to cry right there, because I finally realized how much he was leaving me behind. The first thing that popped into my head was ‘What did I do wrong?!' I thought of how much effort I'd put into getting to see him because I loved him so much, and it tore me apart to think that it was all for nothing. I was scared, alone, afraid… I even sought Charlie out and managed to get someone to distract Spencer for me. I told him about it and asked if I was just being a stupid girl and over reacting. He ran a hand through his hair, laughed nervously, then said:

“Yeah, I've noticed that… I was hoping you didn't. I knew it'd break your heart.”

He told me how Colter seemed distant from me, and how everyone noticed it, and it wasn't just me assuming things. There was no excuse for him… he was treating me like shit, and I wasn't imagining it.

That night, Charlie and I were standing with Colter eating nachos when he got a pepper and took off running for water, giving the famous ‘Wait right here, I'll be back!' line. We waited, and waited, and waited… then I sighed and said:

“He did it again.”

Charlie just nodded.

We walked to the concession stand to find Colter with a group of people, talking to these two girls. He didn't even notice me, and it really broke my heart. I had to stand next to him for a good 5 minutes before he was even aware I was there.

I'm not clingy. I don't need my boyfriend to be there at all times. I'm not that type of girl… But I flew 1500 miles to see him and I didn't have anyone except him. He knew that. Why was he doing this?

That night was movie night, where we all drag out sleeping bags onto the field and they project a movie onto the fence for us to watch. Everyone loves that night because in the dark, you can get away with kissing, which was not allowed. I was slightly shocked when Colter picked a seat closest to the counselors… even Charlie and Taylor were looking at me like ‘What is he doing?' I shrugged it off, trying not to get any more upset that I already was. I sat down next to him and started shivering really badly. Charlie looked at me, Colter, me, Colter, then sighed in a really annoyed tone and stole Colter's beanie to give to me. I smiled at him, then looked back at Colter. He didn't even look at me. He was too busy talking to the girls next to us.

After awhile, I lost feeling in my fingers. I knew there was no chance Colter would think to hold my hand--which was also painful, because every other time I'd been around him, he was always holding my hand--so I grabbed his hand, not necessarily because I wanted affection, but because I was cold and my boyfriend was being a dumbass.

He didn't talk to me. I tried to join the conversation, but he would block me out like I wasn't even there. I tried so hard…

I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down. As I mentioned before, I don't cry. Suddenly, I was in tears, sobbing hysterically. I put my head on my knee and cried, just hoping Colter didn't notice…

He didn't. I had hoped he regain control of myself, but the fact that he didn't even notice made me cry harder. He was holding my hand… but he didn't even notice me crying right next to him?

Charlie saw me. He knew what I was crying about, and he hugged me, whispering to me, and I gave him choked answers, trying to keep my voice down so Colter wouldn't hear me. Something tells me I could've screamed at the top of my lungs and Colter wouldn't have noticed.

After awhile, Charlie got up and left, so I just put my head back in my lap and cried. I couldn't stop thinking of my hard work, and how much I had wanted to be loved… Taylor had been looking at me since Charlie talked to me, and I noticed him slowly scooting towards me. He asked really quietly “Are you okay?” I nodded, trying to hold in sobs. I'll never forget what he did, because it was just so Taylor, it actually made me smile. He looked at the pillow in his lap, looked at me, really slowly handed me the pillow, then looked back down. In his own little way, it was the sweetest thing in the world.

Of course, Colter stole it off my lap about two seconds later. That pissed me off… Even the look on Taylor's face was pure shock. Colter knew I was cold, but he took the pillow off my lap… I was crying in my lap, and taking the pillow means he had to have looked at me, but he didn't notice? Was I that insignificant?

Around that time, Charlie reappeared, and it turns out he'd gone to the bathroom to get me some tissues. I let go of Colter's hand to blow my nose, but he didn't notice me. I was too insignificant.

It had been an hour since I started crying. If you were with someone for only 4 days out of 2 months and they had their head in their lap, don't you think you would notice them over the course of an hour? Colter didn't. I don't know what finally happened--I think Charlie got fed up and threw a shoe at him--but it was an hour and about twenty minutes when he finally saw me.

At first, I didn't say anything. He looked at me all concerned and kept saying: “Piper, what's wrong?” I wanted to say ‘You, dickwad! I fly all the way down here just to see you, you ignore me for 4 days, and then ask me what's wrong?! What the hell do you think is wrong?!'

I couldn't. It was a good three minutes before I finally managed to choke something out.

“Am I annoying you?!” I forced out, and by the way he sat back, I know how upset I sounded. I turned to meet his gaze, and I was angry. I know it showed, because he looked thoroughly shocked. “Did I do something wrong? Did I piss you off?!”

“No… no, why would you think that?” he asked is a soft voice as he put an arm around me. Had I not been freezing, I would've thrown his arm off me.

“So why have you been ignoring me?!” I demanded. He didn't deny it. I think I would've liked it better if he had. I burst into even more tears.

He started telling me that it wasn't my fault and that it was okay, but he never told me why. A simple explanation was all I wanted… anything to make me realize that it was not my fault. He provided me with nothing.

That night, I cried myself to sleep. It was the first time in my entire life. I do not cry. This time, I did.

By the next morning, I was thoroughly embarrassed and ashamed that I had broken down like that. Colter held my hand on the way to breakfast and had the sorriest look on his face, so I now felt guilty and ashamed. At breakfast, I finally said something along the lines of:

“Sorry for my spaz attack last night.”

His exact response was: “It's okay. I know I was a retard.”

I thought it was going to be okay. I thought he was going this meant he was going to realize what he'd done, and we'd move on and forget about it. It would be a painful memory in the back of my mind, but I would get over it. He was the perfect, wonderful guy I'd known all along…

…right?

That was the day we left camp. I was sad to say good-bye to Taylor, because through this entire ordeal, he had kept me laughing. I was going to miss him.

Colter, Charlie, and I were picked up by Colter's dad. We were going to get back to the house with about two hours until my flight back home, and I was hoping it would be time spent alone with Colter, talking and reminding me why I loved him.

We got lost.

By the time we got home, Colter and I had about ten minutes together. And what did we do? We sat on his bed and watched TV. He didn't put his arm around me or anything. Just sat there. I even tried to kiss him at one point, and he jerked away so fast that I completely missed. Talk about adding insult to injury.

It was not until his dad started calling us from downstairs that he put his arm around me and gave me the look that meant he wanted a kiss. And he got his kiss… there was nothing gentle about it at all. He shoved his tongue in my mouth, then got up and walked out of the room. It was all I could do to keep from crying.

I was desperate. I wanted to know that my hard work wasn't for nothing… I ran after him. I caught him at the top of the stairs and pulled him into the tightest hug I could manage. I got on my tip-toes so that I was right next to his ear and whispered:

“I love you more than you know.”

He chuckled and pulled me closer before whispering: “I love you too.”

Did he really?

He said nothing on the way to the airport. He said nothing in the airport. He said nothing as we waiting in line for security. When it came time for me to go through, I turned to him and managed to choke out:

“Well… I guess I'll see you in two months.”

I thought I would see what I saw when he left Arizona. I thought I would see the sad look that told me just how much I meant to him, or even some hint of emotion…

He smiled.

“Yep. See you.”

It was as if he was saying good-bye to someone who was no more than a friend, someone he would see the next day, the way you say good-bye to your friends at school… But I wasn't just a friend! He wouldn't see me the next day! I didn't see him everyday at school… it was going to be two months before I saw him again. Didn't that mean anything? I didn't want him to be sad… but I wanted him to care. I don't think he did.

As soon as I got through security, I burst into tears, and I couldn't stop. I remember saying a prayer, “Please Jesus, help me through this.”

He did. I was the last one on the plane, and I was surprised to find an aisle seat about 3 rows back that was open. I sat down and started crying, and I couldn't stop. He'd meant so much to me… why didn't that mean anything to him? How had he been so kind and so caring the previous trip, but so cold and distant this time around? When had he changed? Why?

I tried to catch my breath, wipe my eyes, put it out of my mind… and that's when I heard a sweet voice next to me say:

“Do you want to talk about it?”

It was an elderly man with a kind smile. I didn't tell him much, only that I had been visiting my boyfriend and that it was hard to leave. He smiled softly before saying: “Ahh, yes… always so hard to leave the ones we love.”

He made me feel better. Eventually, I put on my headphones and listened to ‘Broken' by Seether, featuring Amy Lee. It said everything I wanted to say.

‘I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh. I want to hold you high and steal your pain away. I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well. I want to hold you high, you steal my pain… Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome and I don't feel right when you're gone away…'

I managed to drift off and finally have some peace. When I woke up, I found that there were snacks on my tray. The old man beside me smiled and said:

“I didn't want them to wake you, so I just put the snacks on your tray for you.”

I talked to him for the rest of the flight… not about Colter, but about my home, and where he'd come from, and common conversations such as those. He really made me feel better. When the plane landed, I thanked Jesus. I knew he'd gotten me home, not only safe, but also free from my misery.

When I told my mom, I thought she was going to kill Colter. I don't blame her. She pulled got me out of school and paid that much money, then saw me come home crying and heartbroken. She was enraged, and she told me I should be as well.

“Piper, you worked your ass off and all that boy did was treat you like shit!” were her words. My mom is normally a very refined businesswoman, so to see her like this showed me just how angry she was. And it got me angry too.

So that night, I gave up on Colter. I broke up with him. He hadn't called me, which hurt to begin with, because when he got home from his last visit, he had called me immediately to tell me how much he missed me. This time, there was no phone call all night, and when the phone did ring, it was Charlie. Finally, I got fed up waiting, and I texted him saying, ‘Let's just be friends. I'm sorry.' Well, he finally called me, and I asked him if he'd gotten my text. He said no, so I told him to go check it. His response was a text that read ‘Its ok (-.-) .' I sent another one back saying ‘Call me, we can talk' because I didn't want him to think I was avoiding talking to his face, but he never called.

The next morning, my e-mail was filled with angry letters from him. It took me forever to read them because his grammar was so bad, but he was asking me if I was lying when I told him I loved him, or if he ever meant anything to me, or if I had ever cared… it was all the things I had been wondering about him thrown in my face! I felt like my stomach was gone and I couldn't eat. Then he wrote an e-mail asking me why I didn't tell him on the phone, and in truth, I regret that bit. I just didn't want to tell him on the phone and then have him upset, hang up, and see my text. I had offered for him to call so we could talk, but he hadn't. Then, he'd blown up at me.

I got online, and he was enraged. He made me feel so guilty, I almost threw up, and my mom was scared to take me to school. He told me that he had been upset all camp--the specific reason is something personal to him that I will not repeat--and that was why he was so quiet. There were still so many questions, though… Why did his being upset make it hard for him to talk to me, but it did not effect his speaking-ability around any of his friends. And why did it make it okay for him to run off and not come back? And why had he not told me any of this on movie night when I asked what was wrong? He said he didn't want to tell anyone the reason he was upset, but all he had to say to me was ‘Something's been bothering me. I'm sorry if you've felt ignored. I've just been upset'. That was all I needed from him.

Still, I felt like I had done something wrong. His guilt-trip on me had worked.

I only made it through a few periods of school before I had to call my parents to take me home. I felt sick. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, and as soon as I got home, I just cried.

We talked about it eventually, but I still don't think he understands what he did to me. Since then, we've become “just friends”. We still talk, and we've learned to mention those times by teasing each other about them. He calls about once every two weeks as opposed to the old days of talking each and every night, but when he does, we can still talk for two hours or more.

Over winter break, we're both going to Vail again. Snowboarding together, just like we always planned. What'll it be like? I don't know. I know I won't want him back, though. Love is blind. When I was with Colter, I thought he was perfect. Now that I've stepped back, I'm starting to see the faults I should've seen a long, long time ago.

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A/N: Please leave reviews! I really poured my heart into this... please, please, PLEASE… offer critique of the writing or of my story itself. Anything! Reviews make my day!