For those of you who are lucky enough to have never heard of "Channel 1," Channel 1 is a new program that is broadcast from somewhere in California to schools all over the country. I'm not exactly sure how the administration makes this pact with the Devil, but it really pisses me off. The anchors are all cut from the cloth of popularity and are simpering idiots; the commercials are full of propaganda and play on the egos of the youth of America (which, admittedly, isn't hard) and the music they play is some of the most obnoxious shit I have ever had the misfortune to hear in my entire life. And the absolute worst part? This trash is played during our study halls, thereby making it impossible to get any studying done whatsoever. It is so loud that you can't read or think very well, thus completely eliminating the point of study hall in the first place.
Incidentally, the last line--"So much for my lunch study hall!"--refers to the organization of lunch periods at my school. The lunch periods are twenty-five minutes long, and every student must go to their twenty minute study hall either beforehand or afterword (which is the reason we have eleven periods here--morons). Yes, must. We're not allowed to get passes to the library for that period--I checked--or apparently those idiots in California will take away the T.V.s bolted to the wall in every classroom over which their inane program is broadcast. So, that's my rant. Sorry for its length, but it was necessary, and I'm sure by now you can tell that I REALLY do not like Channel 1.
(Ironically enough, I wrote this in study hall while Channel 1 was playing....And let's hear it for hyperbole in some places to get one's point across!)

I can't read, I can't think, I can't write--
Good gods, but this show is inane.
It plagues my school and my sight--
It's driving me fucking insane!

Chorus:
Channel 1, Channel 1,
The Devil on T.V.
When's it done, when's it done?
It makes me want to flee!

They say there's too much sex on T.V.,
Too much swearing, blood, and gore,
But '1' thing that they never see
Is an offense to life, straight and pure.

They say they're presenting the news
In an unbiased, one-sided way.
And I am not allowed to choose
To flee it or to stay.

I hate Channel 1 with a passion--
It drains my thoughts away.
They force on me popular fashion
With every commercial they play.

How can I study while hearing
Their babbling words one and all?
And the music they play is so jeering--
So much for my lunch study hall!