Abandon

Book 1: “We’re not so different…”

By Sarah Palmer

Part 1

I hit the floor hard and cried out. My cheek was bleeding. I cowered on the wooden surface as the bulky figure of my uncle towered over me.

“…get up…” he growled. My whole body trembled and I hesitated. “I said get up!!”

He grasped my wrist and jerked me to my feet. I sagged in his grip, sobbing. He took my chin and held it tightly, forcing me to stare into his angry brown eyes. The sides of his mouth curled up into a disgusting smile.

“Say you love me like a good little girl…” he spat at me. I tried to pull away.

“No! I won’t!” I cried out. His hand rose up threatening to slap me.

“SAY IT!” he shouted. My tears ran rivers down my face and I made the mistake of turning away from him. His hand struck me hard across the face. I cried out in pain and he pushed me harshly up against the wall. My back collided with it and my uncle advanced on me until he was barely inches from my face. “Since you wanna be a stupid bitch, I’ll have to make you…”

His dirty moist lips pressed against mine. I kept my mouth shut tight trying to believe this was all a dream. He squeezed my arm tighter and pushed himself closer to me. He forced his tongue down my throat. I tried to push him off but, it’d only get worse. I tensed when his hands searched up my shirt and took hold of my breasts. He pulled away for a minute and grinned.

“Just like your mother’s…” he sneered. He then ripped open my shirt and started to suck on my neck and bite it.

“Please…just leave me alone…” I cried through tears. He bit down hard on my neck to shut me up. I closed my eyes wishing this dream would disappear…it never did.

I heard his voice in my ear as he forced my pants down. “…you’re so sweet…” he laughed with a drunken touch in his voice. “…I love you…”

I always woke up in cold sweats when I found myself staring at that same old cracked ceiling. I had woken up just the same way the following morning. I was stripped of my clothes and tucked under the white bed sheets. I sat up and scanned the sunlit room. My uncle wasn’t in sight. I sighed in relief and dragged my limp body from the bed, pulling the sheets with me.

It was a bright day. I could tell from the light that poured in through the half open window. It stung my eyes and made me wince as I searched through my “closet” for clothes.

My “closet” was just an old clothing hamper with a lid. It was filled to the rim with my aunt's old clothes from when she was my age. After selecting a musty old sweatshirt, a pair of ripped-at-the-knee jeans and a pair of old converse, I made my way sleepily downstairs. I made it to the bottom landing without hearing the irritated drunken shouts of the man of the house. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t there.

I went to retrieve my backpack from the living room, and there he was standing in the kitchen, beer in hand, curing drunkenly at nothing. I swung my bag over my shoulder and took the books I’d left out the day before. Before I managed to make it to the front door, he called after me.

“Where d’you think you’re goin’, Steve…” he sputtered.

I turned back to him annoyed. “I’m going to school, Charley. And for the last time my name’s not Steve…it’s Stephanie.” I explained showing him my clear irritation.

He turned and sent his cross-eyed gaze towards me.

“Don’t use that tone with me, young lady.” He slurred. I pulled my bag strap further up my shoulder and turned on him.

“I’ll be home around four…” I said as I opened the door.

“…pick up some ciggies and con’ems…” he shouted after me. I ignored him and shut the door walking out onto the porch. After descending the steps I crossed our unshaven lawn and walked out into the cloudy morning.

My neighborhood was broken. The houses were crumbling…some had even colapsed in the passed year. Out of this whole somewhat large place I only had one living friend…and he lived next door.

Tyler was sitting by his fence and smoking as usual. He ws draped in black oversized slacks, a simple white shirt and old army boots. His hazel eys stared at me through his messy brown curls.

Part 2

“Hey…” he greeted as he tossed the ciggarette away.

“Hi,” I answered. I sighed and added, “You’re gonna die you know that?” I was refering to his constant smoking.

He laughed weakly and pulled himself to his feet. “Everyone’s gotta die sometime,” he cruely joked, “Don’t worry about it…let’s just get to school.”

He swung his grey napsack over his shoulder and started heading up the block. I followed.

The wind blew softly this morning. It tossed my hair around and I was constantly brushing it from my yes. Tyler strode along beside me, humming to a song only he could hear. Other than his tone deaf mummbles, our walk was mostly silent as we traveled the garbage shrewn street.

The silence was getting to me. Images from the previous night started to flow though my head. I sighed deeply and tried to bare with it.

Tyler noticed my uneasiness and said, “So…how’s old man Charley? I heard yelling from your room last night…another fight?”

I tenced. Tyler didn’t know what was really going on. I quickly thought up a story and nodded.

“Eh…yeah. It was nothing really. I just forgot to do my chores and he sorta…flipped,” I lied.

“Mmhmm,” he blankly replied as we turned the corner coming out to the equally broken town. It resembled a subburbian ghetto. No roads lead to the town so cars were a rarity around here. The only path to the main town was through a shady back alley behind the local Staples.

“You’d think they’d put a road here by now…” I complained as we approached the Staples building.

“At least we have more privacy and besides…I kinda like jumping over a wall to get home,” Tyler replied. We turned the corner and came to the side of the building. Towering before us was the cement barrier that separated us from the outide world. Tyler went over to the wall and cuped his hands. “Come on. Let me give you a boost.”

I stepped into his hands and with a quick movement, he lifted me up so I could grab the top of the wall. I grasped it firmly and hoisted myself up. I sat there waiting for Tyler to jump from the garbage cans to the wall. Once he did he jumped from the ten foot construction and waited for me to hop down into his so-called safe arms.

“Let’s go,” he said smiling for a change. I pushed myself from the wall and he caught me before I landed face first on the pavement. Instead, I colided with him and caused him to topple over.

After realizing the position we were in, Tyler grinned and said, “Hello…”

I rolled my eyes and made a move to get up. Playfully, Tyler put his leg around my own and rolled me over. He was on top of me, smiling down at me. My body trembled under him.

I held my fear in and glared at him. “Get off me,” I said firmly.

“Oh come on, Stevie,” he laughed and leaned in closer to me, “You gotta live a little…”

He leaned in to kiss me, but I managed to kick him between the legs and slide out from under him. He curled up on the floor holding his nuts and tearing up. I stood over him angry and frustrated.

“You’re such a pervert!!” I yelled as he stood up weakly. I slapped him across the face and turned to exit the alley. “Let’s go or we’ll be late.”

After taking in the pain, Tyler wobbled after me.

It was like a danger zone. A vast sea of glaring badass teens just waiting for someone to try them. Around school me an Tyler were ghosts. No one noticed us, or knew who we were…with an exception of the principal of course.

The bell sounded.

The ten hundred or so students started rushing in through the double doors. Tyler and I were dragged into the crowd, loosing each other as we entered the building.

I managed to get myself out into clear space. I was near the staircase. I stood on my toes and looked over the heads of the other students. Tyler was nowhere in sight. I tried to get a better look by taking hold of the lockers and pulling myself up more.

“Looking for something?” I lost my balance and nearly fell over. I turned around to face a tall young man with straight blonde hair and mysterious deep blue eyes. Surprised I stepped back.

“Um…n-no. Just looking around…” I stampered. I looked down and quickly walked around him. I hurried to the staircase and asended the stairs towards homeroom.

I made it to the classroom just in time. Tyler was located in a different class so he wasn’t there. Without speaking I slowly made my way to my usual seat near the window. I pulled out my chair and sat, head propped in hand. Girls around my stared at me from time to time whispering about my mesy uneven hair and hand-me-down clothes.

I ignored them and sunk down into my seat, waiting for the next bell to ring.

Mrs. Rogers eventually showed up for attendance. She called out everyone’s names as usual, making sure we were “slacking off”.

As for me I stared out the window and watched the traffic drift slowly passed the school. My hair was in my face again. I didn’t bother to shake it away. My mind was too preoccupied by the fly crawling on the glass window.

“Stephanie? Stephanie!!” her voice rang through my ears. I returned my gaze to her. “Are you ok?”

“Sure…whatever,” I mummbled in reply. She nodded and continued down the list. I looked back at the window and waited inpatiently for her to finish.

The bell sounded again.

We all rose from out seats and left for morning classes.

I didn’t see Tyler in any of my classes. By the time lunch came around I had guessed he was skipping class, but I thought wrong.

I was resting at the eastern side of the school near the abandoned handball courts. As I picked at a sandwich from the school cafetieria, I heard someone stummble out from behind the school. I looked up and saw a poorly balenced figure wobbling myway.

“Who’s there?” I asked. Judging from the empty bottle in his hand, the guy was drunk. Possibly a Sineor or something. I started to get up and leave, but it was only then when I realized who he was.

He tripped into the light dropping the bottle. It smashed on the floor as he grabbed the wlall for support. His curly dirt brown hair hung over his pale sick face.

“…T-Tyler…?!” I said surprised. Istarted to go over to him, but stopped when he doubled over and threw up. I turned away both worried and partially digusted. He coughed a little and I turned around to see him leaning on the wall and wiping his face off.

“I’m ok now…it’s lunch already?” he managed to say. Trying to ignore the greenish puddle of his lost brekfast, I faced him fully.

“yeah. I can already see what you’ve been doing…” I replied.

“Eh…” he mummbled. His hands dug into his pockets and pulled out a pack of ciggarettes followed by a lighter. He put one in his mouth and lit it taking a long puff from it. The ciggarette pack and lighter returned to his pocket. “So…still wanna stick around?”

“At school? Not really…Jones failed me again. Said I couldn’t add…” I sighed. Tyler smiled and came over to me. He put his arm over my shoulder and blew a suffocating cloud of smoke in the air. A gross stentch arose from him and I held my breath.

“In that case let’s ditch this place. I know where no one will find us,” he said giing me a sly grin.

“No. My uncle has ways of finding out where I am or what I’ve been doing,” I hesitated at first. Then I pulled away from him and added, “he’d seriously kill me if I skipped.”

“Come on. That old fart can’t even tell his own cousin from a stripper half the time.” Tyler said.

“His cousin is a stripper,” I corected. He thought on it and laughed.

“So what. I mean he won’t really know,” he persisted. I sighed again.

“Fine, but only if you reframe from touching me the whole time. I’m not your girlfriend,” I told him. He smiled triumphantly and took my hand. He started to pull me towards the back of the school. “Wait! Where are w going!”

“To that place I just told you about,” he simply said and he continued to lead me to the northern face of the school.

The “Back School Alley” was a dark place that rarely got any sunlight. It was empty accept for the dumpster and a bunch of trash cans. A door to the storage bacement was at the farther end of the ‘BCA’.

There was a fence separating the school from the oppisite side of the block. Tyler led me over to a hole in the fench and waited politely for me to ned down and go through. I looked at him with untrusting eyes. He noticed and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“After you,” he said. I shrunk down to myknees and crawled through the hole. I came up covered in dirt. After brushing it away I took in the scenary around me. It was an over grown abandoned lot. Weeds and grass grew untended all over the place. Tyler squeezed in through the hole after me. He stood up and looked around. “Heh…this is a nice place, but no…this isn’t it.”

“Oh…good,” I said. tyler laughed and started to walk through the dirt place as if the shrubs weren’t even there. As for me I picked and prodden through the over growth like a proper little girl.

By the time we made it out, I had succesfully stepped in two kinds of dog shirt and slipped on a glass bottle.

After wiping the crap off my shoe, I looked up to see Tyler taking the last puff from his ciggarette and throwing it away. We were now on the deserted street between the school and Anderson Parkway.

Stiles street was mainly deticated for nightly block parties and gangs. During the day it was just a dirty old road that was rarely used.

“He won’t know? Tyler this is the first place he’d look!” I warned. Tyler took my hand and lead me off towards one of the buildings silently. The sound of cars and frozen traffic slowed over the empty street. We stopped infront of a loosly chained door. “What now? Let’s just go back. This is getting us nowhere.”

“Would you be patient for just two seconds? We’re almost there,” he replied now frustrated with my complaining. He reached into his pocket and brought out what looking like a lock pick. He struck it into the lock and started fiddling with it. He mummbled a few words under his breath as he tried to unlock the door. Within five minutes, Tyler pulled the pick from the lock and pulled the chains off. They clattered when they hit the floor. He opened the door and gestured for me to go inside.

Part 4

"This way to my little paradise," he said sounding as if he were high on something. After giving him a looK, I walked inside. Everything was enclosed in darkness.

"Tyler I can't see anything," I said. No answer came from behind me. "Uh...Tyler?"

There was a loud slam from behind me. I swung around to see that the door had closed. I squinted in the dark nd tried to see if Tyler was hiding anywhere. Only cardboard boxes and old rusted metal poles came into view. I blinked and my eyes started to adjust to the darkness. I soon saw the room for what it was. There were a few old abandoned cars scattered about. and several grey columns holding the roof up.

"A-A parking lot?! What's so great about this? Tyler stop fucking around!! This isn't funny!" I yelled. I heard a crash come from nearby. I scanned the room nervously. Whispered laughs echoed throughout the room. Footsteps made their way slowly towards me. I started to back away. "if you don't come out I'm leaving!"

A horn sounded from nearby. I looked over and saw an old red convertible in the darkest corner of the lot. I rolled my eyes and headed over to it.

"You’re really funny you know that," I said sarcasticaly as I reached the car. When I got there, peeked inside the window and saw no one there. "That's weird."

I turned to continue looking around somemore, but my heart stopped when i saw tyler standing there grinning at me.

"Hiya," he said laughing a little. I stood there with my back up against the car staring angrily at him. "huh...what's wrong?"

"You scared the shit outta me!" I yelled. he sighed and looked around. I just dug my hands into my pockets and looked down. "Let's just get out of here...I need to go clean my sneakers...they stink."

I was going to turn from him and take leave of the place, but he took me by my wrist and pulled me back.

"Come on. School isn't over yet...and I still haven't showed you the surprise." he persisted. I sighed.

"What IS this surprise?" I grummbled. He just smiled cunningly at me. I hated when he smiled like that and I just knew he was up to something. Before I could pull away from him, he smoothly placed his hand around my waist and pulled me closer him. I was close enough to feel him breathing heavily on my face. He lean slightly closer to me. I stared into his soft hazel eyes.

"...this..." he simply said. His lips brushed against mine softly as if to test whether or not I'd pull away. When I didn't he kissed me again, but rougher. His brown locks brushed my forhead when he came even closer. He pushed me up against the car. I felt his tounge slip into my mouth and slide aong my tonsils. One of his hands started to desend slowly down over my ass and slide down my leg. He pulled away for a split second only to come back and start kissing down my neck. My thoughts were clouded.

I couldn't think of anything else but him now. Not school...not home...not Charley. I just wanted to stay there in his arms no matter how much I'd gone through in the past.

Charley...

Tyler suddenly bit down on my neck and I came out of my trance.I felt his hand creep up my sweatshirt then. As he reached my bra I made my move to stop him. I pushed his hand out of my shirt and stoped him from going any further.

The thought of my uncle was runnig through my head. He pulled away and i looked into his disappointed hazel eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, but I can't...I have to go," I mummbled. Then I awkwardly slid from between Tyler and the car and hurried towards the door. I pushed it open and walked out onto the deserted road. I squinted when the bright sun hit my eyes. I hugged myself and smiled weakly. That kiss...it all wasn't just for pleasure. It was out of love...a love that i'd never experienced before. It made me feet so different. Like I had wanted to be in his arms forever. But I knew I just couldn't. There was always Charley...I knew he'd kill me if i fooled around with another boy.

I quickly shook the thoughts for my head and came back to reality. I made my way carefully across the overgrown parking lot and crawled through the hole in the school fence.

Lunch was over. I didn't bother returning to school. I just sat there nearthe handball coursts hidden from sight. no matter how much I tried to forget, i still felt the softness of Tyler's lips.

Part 5

I sat there for an hour and a half waiting for school to end. my back pack was still inside. I didn't bother to get it.

The bell sounded at 3:30 and everyone started to flood out of the double doors. I got up from my spot and mixed myself in the crowd. i separated myself from the group when I came to the Staples. i waited until no one was around and i turned and crept into the back alley.

I went in expecting to see tyler waiting there, but he wasn't. I hadn't seen Tyler since...since the parking lot. I sighed and went towards the wall. just as i prepared to climb up to the wall i saw a small grey bookbag sitting near it. I went over and picked it up only to descover that it was my own. i guessed Tyler had dropped it off, but I didn't see him anywhere. I hoisted the back on my back and pulled myself up onto the dumpster. Then I took hold of the wall and pulled myself on top of it.

My mind kept telling me that Tyler wouldn't be waiting on the otherside, but part of it was expecting him to be there preparing to catch me.

I reached the top and was disappointed when I saw and empty alley. I began to feel a little silly. Why was I acting like this? Why would he come back after I ditched him back there?

After shaking the thought from my head I tossed my backpack to the floor. Then with slight hesitation I jumped from the wall to the floor landing painfully on my feet. i fell over and hugged my knees trying to dull the pain. I’ll never do that again, I thought.

I stood up weakly and after swinging my back over my shoulder I left the dark alley and came out to the dusty old miniture town again. Few people were out. Dirty kids ran around chasing dogs while thier mothers were in the old stores buy cheap groceries and what not. Most of the people around here never went to school or even seen what was beyond the Staples barrier.

Feeling a bit ashamed of it I walked by quickly and turned down the stret towards home.

Nothing much was going on in my side of the neighborhood. I ws practically the only living soul on it. As I spproached my house. I stopped in front of Tyler's house first. Even though we were neighbors I'd never set foot into his house before. It was a lonely old two story home with a small attic. The house was silent so i didn't bother to go in.

Instead I continued over to my own home. I opened the front gate and made my way across the lawn. I walked up the steps and headed over to the front door. I was going to unlock the door myself when the door knob turned. It was jerked open and there stood Charley red with anger. I stepped back in fearpreparing to run away, but he grasped my arm harshly and dragged me into the house.

I fell into the house snf colided with the floor again. I pulled myself up quickly and turned to face him. I kept my distance from him as he glared at me. His mouth screwed up in a twisted frown.

“Where the HELL have you been!” he yelled. I dropped my bag and hesitated to answer. He came over to me and grabbed my arm holding it tight so I couldn’t get away. “I asked you a question…”

“I was in classes…let me go!” I yelled back and I tried to pull away from him, but my efforts only resulted in him holding onto me tighter. His hand rose up and hit me across the face. I didn’t look back at him when he yelled.

“Don’t lie to me, bitch! Your fuckin’ teacher called me. He said you didn’t show up all afternoon. Where the fuck were you!” he growled. I looked down trying to hide the tears that poured from my eyes. Suddenly he grabbed my chin and jerked my head to the side looking at my neck. “What the fuck is this!! A hickey!”

I tenced remembering how tyler had kissed me there. No…, I thought. He pulledmy head back to look at him. “Who were you with…” he said. I refused to answer him, but he threatened to slap me again. “Answer the question!”

“I was with Tyler Ok! We just hung out on Stiles street!” I yelled. His eye brows bunched to gether as he stared angrily at me.

“You’re lying, Steve. You fuckin’ kissed him didn’t you,” he said.

“I didn’t—“ before I finished he turned my head to the side again so he could see the bruse-like make on my neck.

“then what is this huh!” he yelled. I knew he was right and I didn’t answer him. He growled and pushed me harshly against the wall. I cried out in pain and slid to the ground. I looked up to se him undoing his belt buckle. “You little slut…you did kiss him…”

He pulled his belt from his pants and wrapped some of it around his fist letting the rest hang from his hand like a whip. He swung the belt at me and it struck my arm with a loud snap. He hit me again and again until I was left crying on the floor. My body was black and blue now and I felt numb all over.

“If I ever see you near that tramp again…I swere, after I gun him down, you’ll wish I never took you in! You stay away from him! Understand me!” he yelled. I tried to talk, but my voice was replaced by constant whining and hiccuping. He hit me again and shouted, “I SAID TO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!”

“YES!” I cried, “Yes…”

He glared at me and while returning his belt to his pants, he walked over me and went straight into the kitchen. When he was gone, I pushed myself to my feet and grabbed the wall for support. My legs trembled under my wieght as I stood there. I managed to stop my whining after a little bit. Me tears continued to roll down my cheeks. I eventually pushed myself from the wall and weakly started up the stairs. I didn’t care whether or not I stepped on the squeeking steps. I just wanted to get to bed. As I made it to the top step I heard a noise from behind me. I turned to see charley standing there, now calm from before.

He had another beer clutched in his hand. He wore his fake smile of guilt. “You hurt?” he asked.

I didn’t answer him. I just turned back around and continued up the steps towards my room. He followed. I reached my door and opened it. I knew he was behind me so I stopped.

“I’m going to bed…” I told him and I walked in closing the door quickly behind me. It was only 4:30pm, but I just wanted to sleep my pain away. I sat on my bed with my back to the door. I heard it open and close. I closed my eyes trying to hold in my tears as his foot steps approached me. I felt his weight on the bed when he sat down.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you…” he said in his fake sympathy. I didn’t turn to look at him. He put his arm around me and started to pull me towards him. “Don’t worry…I’ll never do it again…”

Yeah right, I thought. He started to pull me down to his lap. I tenced and tried to pull away, but he tightened his grip slightly and continued to pull me down until my head rested on his lap. I stared at the window wishing to was somewhee else. Charley started to run his fingers through my folt hair. He moved hi hand further down my body.

I twitched when I felt his hand reach into my pants. He ran his fingers over my cunt and I tenced.

“Stop it…” I said and I made a move to get up. Before I could he used his free hand to hold my head down.

“Shh…it’s ok. Stay still…” he said softly as his fingers kept rubbing my cunt making me moan quietly. I had no choise , but to stay there. The pressure started getting harder and my tears started up again. I moaned again as I reached my climax. He pulled his hand out of my pants and placed his hand on my hread. “…now I want you to do something for me…”

Oh no, I thought. He opened his legs a little more and turned my head towards the bulge in his pants. I closed my eyes and tried to pull away again, but he grabbed my neck and held me down forcefully.

“P-please…I don’t want to,” I said through my tears. He egnored my cries and unzipped his pants. He grabbed my hair and foced me to open my mouth.

I just stayed there crying the whole time. He said nice things to me. He always said nice things to me when I pleasured him. He made stupid promises to me that I knew wouldn’t come true.

He pushed my mouth further down on his dick when he reached his climax. I felt his hand release me and I pulled back quickly ready to throw up. Charley got to his feet and zipped his pants. He came over to me and grabbed my arm focing me to my feet.

He looked at me angrily at first, but then his mouth durlled into a grin.

“if you keep this up, I won’t have to hit you, “he sneered. He pulled me close and leaned in as if to kiss me, but he didn’t. he just looked at me seriously. “What I said before was final. If you go anywhere near tyler, I’ll beat you senceless.”

I nodded quickly and he let me go. He turned on me and left the room slamming the door behind him. I heard his footsteps desend the stairs.

I felt sick. My mouth tasted coulger. I felt my lunch coming back to me and I hurried out of my room into the small bathroom.

I spent most of my night over the toilet, listening to the sound of the T.V. downstairs. Around 7:00, I heard additional drunken shouts frm the livingroom.

Charley’s friends were here.

I picked myself up and opened the bathroom door. I heard Charley gloating about something to the other two or three guests. Not wanting to be a part of my uncle’s fun, I crept from the bathroom and went to my bedroom. Before I opened the door I started to hear noises from within it. I reframed from touching the doorknob and stepped away.

I hope you enjoy my room, I though and I turned away. I headed durther down the hall to the spare room where my cousin used to sleep before he moved out. I silently opened the door and walked in closing it behind me. A few of Dillin’s things were left behind: his broken guitar, his moth eated sweaters, and a possibly six year old salad he’d fogotten to finish and throw out. His room smell of musty old shit. I picked up the salad and chucked it out the window. Then I pulled the covers back on Dillin’s bed. A wave of dust and stink arose.

I sighed and pulled the covers off the bed. I put them on the floor and rolled myself up in them. I lay there unable to sleep from the noise downstairs and the screaming next door. My mind started to think of Tyler again. I was beginning to worry. I hadn’t seen him since lunch. Where sould he have gone? The question ran through my head many times and each time I didn’t have an answer. I finally drifted off to sleep well after twelve when I heard Charley stumble up the stairs to bed.

Part 6

I woke up later the next morning. It was Saturday, so it didn’t matter. I rolled over away from the light. When I did I opened my eyes and found my self staring into the beady little eyes of a local cockroach. Afraid, I jolted up, hitting myhead on the desk above.

“OW!” I cried silently as I held my head.I looked down at myself and sighed when I noticed I was wearing the same clothes from the previous day. “Great…”

I pulled myself from the floor and sleepily walked over to the room door. After pushing it open, I peeked out. No one was in the hall. I walked out and went next door to my ownroom. I opened the door expecting to see a naked couple on my bed, but instead I entered and empty white room. The old shets on my bed were all tossed and twisted. There ws a used condom on the window cill. The “user” must’ve atempted to throw it out the window.

Instead of colapsing on my bed like I had planned, I re-routed myself and went straight to my hamper-made closet. I opened the lid and took out whatever my hands touched: a black fitted shirt with a death smile on it, a pair of baggy ling shorts, and a green colored over shirt. I felt extremely dirty from sleeping in my old clothes. When the clothes clutched in my hands, I left through my room door and walked sleepily across the hall. I pushed the door open and walked in. A suffocating smell chocked me and I shrunk back.

The smell consisted of a strong air of liquer. I guess Charley had spent the night in there. Holding my nose I closed the door behind me and drapped my clothes over the towel rack. I pushed the shower curtain aside. When I didn’t find any colapsed life-forms in the bathtub, I reached in and twisted the lever letting the water splash into the tub.

I peeled off my sweaty shirt and pants and tossed them side. The bath was full now. I turned off the fauset and slowly climbed in. Feeling naked and watched, I pulled the curtain closed and sunk down into the water.

After ten minutes of washing, I head Charley’s heavy footsteps coming down the hall. I decided it was time to get out. I pulled the plug from the drain and let the water run out. My body moved quick to pull on myy clothes and tie up my hair. I heard him reach the door so I pushed the door open and walked out. He was standing there holding his head and barely standing. Hang over…

“I’m going out…I’ll get some pills for that.” I said. he didn’t answer me. I moved out of his way as he ran into the bathroom slamming the door behind him. I turned and re-entered my room to retreive my converse. Once lased up, I headed down the stairs and out the door. It was cloudy again, but no wind disturbed my hair. I walked by Tyler’s empty house. I glanced up at it and stopped. There was a light on in one of the upper rooms.

“Tyler! Hey are you up there!” I yelled. No answer came. I looked down wondering if I should go inside. When I looked back up, my spirits sunk when I saw that the light had gone out again. I sighed and turned away, continuing down the block.

The streets were empty at this time of day. Only a few homeless druggies hung around waiting for the next time to score a hit. I let my hair drift over my face and quickly walked by trying to egnore their slurred shouts.

I’d finally made it to the Staples building and I slipped into the back alley and came to the cement wall. My heart half sunk when I saw no sign of life waiting for me.

No one jumped out to scare me and laugh jokingly as I got angry.

I laughed at the thought of how many times Tyler had done that to me The thought started to worry me again.

I comfronted the sement structure and prepared to scale it. I pulled my weak body clumsily onto the garbage can. I balenced there feeling the can wobble beneath my feet. I thought I was safe for the moment so I made a move to grab the wall.

The can shook violently when I moved and I tilted forward. My flailing arms grasped the wall desperately as the garbage can tummbled over, spilling it’s insides all over the ground. Surprisingly, I managed to hull my body weight up onto the peak of the wall where I sat and reated. The street ahead was as busy as ever. People rushing about to weekend classes, work and what not.

No one cared to look down the alleyway towards me. I was safe. Trying not to make any more noise, I climbed from the wall to the dumpster and hopped calmly to the floor. I brushed the dirt from my clothes and made my way quickly out of the alley trying not to get caught.

I slipped into a crowd of passersby. In my mind I was sure I wouldn’t be recognized. I was wrong.

A strong hand took hold of my arm. I had no time to turn and see the culprit for the person pulled me from the crowd and into the open. I swung around to strike the person blindly, but I stopped when I found myself staring into the deep blue eyes of a familiar boy.

Part 6

I lowered my fists when I realized I’d seen him before. He smiled widely and gestured towards me.

“I knew I saw you before!” he said happily. I folded my arms and looked down. This was the same guy I’d seen the day Tyler disappeared. “Your disguise sorta threw me off…” he laughed slightly.

“Heh…” I stood there and shifted uneasily. What if he’d seen me come from the alley?

“Not a talker, huh?” he asked as he leaned on the wall of the small anonymous shop we stood before. “My name’s Chase.” He shook his head slightly throwing his hair from his eyes.

“Ah…um…Stephanie,” I mummbled. I wanted desperately to leave, but I couldn’t get my legs to budge.

“So, Steve,”-I cringed at the mere mention of my nickname-“what are you up to? Need a ride or something? I’ve got time.”

He has a car, I thought, Figures.

“Um…thanks for the offer, but I only have to get some asprin for my…uh…dad. Hangover…” my voice trailed off when I realized something. The money! I’d left it in the kitchen.

Chase noticed my sudden pause. “Y’ok? You look a bit jumpy,” he said. I shook my head and looked up at him.

“Yeah,” I said feeling happy now that I had an excuse to leave. “It’s just that I realized I left my money at home”- I laughed nervously –“So I gotta go…”

Before I finished he interrupted. “No problem!”

“Uh…wha?” I mummbled dumbfoundedly.

“It’s on me! I’ll save you the walk home,” he offered. I just stared at him. He was offering to buy something for me. I had no way of paying him back. “Whadya say?”

“Well…”- I just couldn’t say no –“.ok?”

“Cool! The nearest pharmacy Is like a mile away,” he mentioned. “You would’ve needed the ride anyway. We can take thecar for a nice spin.”

He gestured for me to follow as he started to walk off. I hesitated and looked back towards the lonely Staples. This could’ve been my chance. I could’ve sprinted down the alley and avoided this strange new guy, but something kept me back. Something wanted me to follow him.

Moving passed the Staples building, I found Chase standing by his car…a freaking Mersades Benz. He looked rather careless about his valued care, but I was gawking at it. I’d never seen anyone…anyone my age with a car like this. He must be loaded, I thought.

He looked up noticing me there. He waved his hand to wake me up.

“Heh…maybe we should get some coffe too. Are you always like this every morning?” he asked as he went around to the oppisite side of the car.

“Only on Saturdays,”I joked. He smirked and opened the car door. He popped the lock and I entered the passenger side of the car. Once I closed the door, Chase started the engine and pulled out onto the street.

I’d never ridden in a car before. Maybe that’s why I was so nervous. I found myself gripping the seat a little as we sped along the nearly empty streets. I watched as the familiar sites I knew rushed by is in a flash. The town was clustered in the area I lived in. The buildings were mostly the same: grey brick and wooden doors. We passed the theatre, our lonely school and a few residential houses.

By the time we passed Denny’s, the town became scattered and we were well on the highway surrounded by a vast grassland. We drove on in silence until Chase pulled off into a large parking lot that belonged to CVS.

“Whoa…that was fast…” I said blankly. I stared out the window towards the large pharmacy. Then I turned back to Chase to find him staring at me strangely. “what?”

“You have got yo be the strangest girl I’ve ever met,” he said. My mood suddenly shifted to anger.

“What! What the hell are you talking about! I’m not weird!” I yelled. He seemed amused at my suddenly outburst. It was like he enjoyed my rage.

“You look even cuter when you’re angry…”

I froze. “huh…?” I managed to say.

He then put on a face of shock and confusion. “Oh wait…did I say that out loud?” he asked. His face was tinged with red. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah,” I laughed. He laughed along with me and popped the lock once again. I opened the car door and started to climb out. “Let’s just get this over with.”

I closed the door behind myself and stood waiting for him. The engine slowed and went silent.. Chase came around the front of the car. He bowed strangely and said, “Shall we go miss?”

“Are you always like this?” I countered back.

He came back to earth and shrugged. “Yeah kinda. You see I was born and raised a dork and well you sorta get a picture. I’m the weird friend maker I guess.” He explained as we started across the parking lot.

“Interesting story.”

“So…what were you really looking for when I first saw you?” He asked.I hesitated in answering, but I felt comfortable around him and I seemed to know he could be trusted.

“Me and my friend were heading in for school and we lost each other in the morning rush. I was looking for…uh…her”- I didn’t want to give off Tyler’s position –“when you popped up.”

“Ah! I see.” He answered as we came to the entrance of the store. We both entered and started to scan down the sisles. As we made our way to the “pill” section we continued our little conversation.

“Does your dad have a story? Friend’s party? Bar night? Depressed?’ he asked. It took me a few minutes to realize he was speaking of my “dad’s” hangover.

“Huh? Oh that. It was just a sports night. They guys from down the street came over…” I explained.

“Ah. I know that one. I know every hangover exuse there is actually,” he boasted. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh really? Enlighten me,” I said sarcastically.

“Well, you see my parents have had every sort of hangover there could be. They even had the “Adult-BarMizvah-Afterparty” hangover…and that’s a rare one,” he explained. I laughed at his cool sence of humor. He suddenly jumped in front of me and shapped his fingers to make a square. He shut one of his eyes and looked through the square at me. “Perfect!”

I stopped. “What?” I asked as the giggles in the throught began to build up again. He smiled and continued to look through the square.

“I wanted to be the first one to get a picture of Stephanie laughing,” he joked.

“Very funny. Besides, I laughed before. You could’ve gotten a picture then,” I said as I rolled my eyes and walked passed him.

“well, I was just waiting for the right time.” He said normaly.

I continued walking, but I stopped and my smile faded when I saw a hidden figure watching me from just beyond the last aisle. At first I thought it was just a strange man, but when I took a closer look at him I saw his curly brown hair and worn out clothing. “Huh…T-Tyler?”

Chase came up beside me. “Who?” he asked. I looked back at him.

“I thought I saw one of me…oh…nevermind…” I said as I shook my head. My gaze traveled back to the last aisle and I saw that the figure had disappeared. It was strange though. For that one moment I thought The figure was crying. He was staring at me through hurt eyes.

Chase and I were out of the store within a few minutes. He’d bought the asprin with his money. I didn’t know how I would pay him back.

After we crossed the parking lot and came to the car I brought it up. “Um…thanks for buying this…” I said quietly. Before I continued he interrupted yet again.

“Don’t mention it, Steve! I’m always availiable to help those in need of assistance,” he said kindly.

“I know…but…” I hesitated.

“But what?” he questioned.

“But…I-I don’t think I can pay you back,” I told him.

“Heh…don’t worry. It was all on me,” he said as he opened the car door on the driver’s side. I went to open the passenger door, but I couldn’t. I looked through the window and saw the lock was off. Chase looked at me trying to get in. “Oh! I forgot about that…wait one minut.”

I heard a click and the door opened freely again. I climbed in and closed the door behind me. Chase looked at me. His face full of embarassment.

“Child locks. This isn’t really my car. It’smy dads. The locks were for when my little brother rides in the front seat with dad. Eh…I got good grades for once so he let me have a little ride in it,” he told me.

“Oh…I was wondering why.” I answered. Chase turned the key and the car came to life with a rumbling sensation. He pulled out of the parking spot and drove us back onto the small highway heading home.

“So, I’m guessing you have to go back home not right?” he asked. I played the pack of asprin through my hands.

“yeah…” I wanted to say more, but nothing came. Chase shrugged his shoulders and checked the clock. It was ten after two.

“Ok. I have to retreat home myself. The old bat is coming and I’m in charge of hugs,” he again he suceeded in making the corners of my mouth turn up.

Part 7

We pulled up in front of the Staples once again. I tucked the asprin away in my pocket and prepared to get out, but Chase stopped me.

“wait,” he said quietly. I felt him gentley take my wrist and pull me back.

“What is it?”

“I was just wondering where you lived. Maybe I could stop by…” his voise trailed off when he saw the look on my face. I couldn’t tell him. What would he think if I told him I lived in a busted old town behind a staples.

“Ah…well…this really wouldn’t be too good of a time. There’s just a lot going on and I don’t think the house is in the right shape for visitors…after last night of course,”I had lied my best.

He looked slightly disappointed, but he quickly hid it with a goofy smile. “OK! Then I’ll see you later at school or something,” he said happily.

“Thanks again. Bye,” I said quietly and I climbed out of the car. Once I was back on the sidewalk, he took off and disappeared around the corner.

I was alone again. The sidewalk seemed empty for this time of day. I stood there for a few minutes looking around. I didn’t know what I was looking for on that almost empty sidewalk. Maybe I was looking for a new place to go. Maybe…I was looking for tyler. No matter how much I denied it, I still thought that shadow in the store was his sad hurt form. He was crying…or rather that person was crying. I never remembered Tyler ever crying before.

I shook my head in doubt. No…it wasn’t him…he never cries, remember? I thought to myself. When I saw the coast was clear, I hurried and slipped into the alley beyond the staples.

I quickly scaled the wall and hopped down to the other side hurrying to get home before Charley had a fit.

As I approached my home is topped before tyler’s house once more. That light was flickering in the upper right-hand window. Tyler’s room. I looked towards the front door. It stood ajar. When I looked towards my house I saw no movement within, I, for the first time in my life, pushed open Tyler’s front gate. I foot fell upon dead grass and crunched beneath me. The path was completely invisible; covered with grass, weeds and leaved. I picked my way across the yard carefully and ascended the porch stairs.

It was silent. No sounds came from the rooms above. I guessed Tyler’s parents were out again. A few wooden planks creaked at the pressure of my feet as I came to the slightly open front door.

“Tyler? Are you in there? It’s me…Steph…” I managed to say through the utter silence. When no answer came I slowly pushed the old door open and walked inside. I found myself in a short hallway leading to the living room. After closing the door, I stepped over the garbage and clothes that littered the floor and came out to the livingroom. It consisted of only one armchair, a carpet and an old black and white TV that currently showed nothing but static.

I saw Tyler’s back pack was dumped on the chair. An unfinished pizza lay on the floor by a hole in the wall. I was going to explore the room further, but I was stopped when I heard a soft bang from one of the upper rooms. A few more followed it. I searched down the hall and spotted the stairs incased in darkness. I took a deep breath and walked towards them.

I began to hear angry noices as I started to walk up the stairs. When I made it to the second level, I noticed a light coming from one of the rooms. I started to walk towards it, but I stopped when I came across a door that was boarded up. I didn’t and never will know what lay beyond that door.

There was a sudden crash from the dimly lit room. I quickly lost interest in the blocked door and walked quietly yo Tyler’s room. I pushed it open and peered inside.

The room was a mess. There were broken objects everywhere and there was a hole in the glass window. I looked further inside to see the figure of a sixteen year old boy crying onto his bed.

I pushed the door open more so I could walk in. The boy looked up slowly. His eyes were red with tears. The bed sheets were stained red and in his left hand he held a razor. It was Tyler.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as he quickly hid his bleeding arm. I hesitated in answering him. I didn’t want to say, ‘I was worried about you,’ so I rephrased it.

“You didn’t show up after school yesterday…I saw a light on so I thought I could---” I started to say.

“---come up?” he finsihed with a hint of anger in his voice. I walked over to him and sat down three feet from him. We were silent for a while. I didn’t know what to say. I was only glad that I had found him. He was ok. I returned my gaze to the bed where his arm had been. It was stained a bloody red.

“What happened to your arm?” I asked. He looked away, but reluctantly rose his arm to show me. There were several deep slashed on his arm. I shrunk back a little seeing that the cuts were bleeding freely. “Oh…”

“I had a fit…I thought you’d hated me…because of the…” he stopped. I knew what he was talking about.

“I’m not exactly mad about that…and I don’t hate you. I…you’re the only friend I have,” I explained.

“Only friend?” he asked. “What about Chase?”

Chase. I’d almost forgotten. That guys in the store. It was Tyler. He’d followed me. He’d seen me with him.

“He’s not my friend, Tyler. I barely even know him. And besides why would I spend my time with a snotty kid with a mercasdes.” I said trying to cheer him up.

He broke a smile and sighed. “I didn’t mean to leave you hanging yesterday,” he confessed, “Things just got a little complicated in my head…that’s all…”

“Hmmm…Where are you parents?” I asked. A darkened look came over his face and he averted him gaze.

“Out,” he simply answered. I shrugged my shoulders.

“I’m sorry O asked. I was just wondering. I mean they’re out a lot…it’s like you don’t even have parents,” I said.

“Hmm…” he mummbled and he slowly stood up. He went over to an old broken down drawer and took from the top of it some bandages. He quietly proceeded to wrap the bandages around his self-made wounds. “they wond be back for a while so you might not meet’em…”

“Oh…Ok.” He was silent. There was something he didn’t want to tell me. A secret I never knew I was searching for. “I-Is there something you wanna tell me?”

He twitched. Keeping his back towards me, he spoke, “I thought they were just going for a walk…” he stated quietly, “…I watched them leave, carrying a bunch of bags with them,”- he turned to me with a sad smile –“It was kinda obvious why they were leaving, but I just didn’t understand it…”

I stared at him in disbelief. My friend, who I thought had the perfect life with his parents, was living worse than me. Not only were his parents gone, but they never came back.

“D’you have anyone…”

“No…everyone else is dead or so rich that they’d be scared of someone like me,” he laughed slightly at his cruel humor. He turned away from me and stared out the window. I stood up awkwardly and walked across his messy little room over to him. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t get my voice to work. Instead, feeling the tears build up again, I took him in my arms hugging him tightly. I felt his arms enclose around my waist and pull me closer. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t say that…Nothing was ever your fault. I’m glad you told me…” I asnwered and I pulled away from him slightly. He released me, but kept his hands on my waist and let his forehead rest upon my own. He smiled.

“So I guess we’re really not so different,” he said.

“I noticed…I should go. Charley’s got this hangover and he needs this stupid asprin,” I told him as I prepared to step away from him. Before I could, he held me tighter and pulled me a little closer to him.

“One more thing…” he said. he took my chin in his left hand and helf my head up. The…like he’d done before, he kissed me softly and wiped my tears away. He released me and shook his curly brown hair from infront of his hazel eyes. I stepped away and turned towards the door.

“Uh…bye,” I said quietly and I exited his room. As I made my way down the hall I stopped breifly infront of the boarded up room. Knowing what it must’ve been I looked at it sadly and continued to the stairs. I quickly ran downstairs and out to the front porch. I paused there just looking down. I can’t believe they abandoned him, I thought. A sudden crash from my house jerked me from my thought. I quickly decended the porch steps, ran out through tyler’s front gate and came in through my own. When I reached the front door, I quickly let myself in and came into the livingroom.

Charley lay colapsed on the floor. I stepped into the livingtoom and felt my foot come down on broken glass. I looked down and saw two or three broken bottles. I stepped over the glass and went quietly over to his colapsed life-form. I didn’t want to help him. Infact, I thought of leaving him there and running away. I thought of killing him in his sleep for what he did to me. But…but I couldn’t. He was all I had left…even if he tortured me.

I reluctantly kneeled by his side and took the pack of asprin from my pocket. He was still breathing aand his eyes were half open meaning he was still conscience.

He suddenly stirred and turned his head towards me. He was trying to say something, but I didn’t bother to listen.

“Are you awake?” I asked just to make sure. A jumple of words poured from his mouth and I couldn’t make out what he said. I showed him the pack of asprin. “I got this from the store. Take some when you need to. I’m going upstairs.”

I put the asprin in his hand and got up. I was lucky he didn’t have the strength to grab me then, but I walked quickly upstairs just as a precausion. When I arrived at my room, I pushed open the door and walked in closing it behind me. I stared at the window. It had to be around four by now.. I dragged myself over to my bed and colapsed upon it, burying my face in the sheets.

I cried.

For the millionth time I cried. I cried for Tyler. I cried for his kiss. I cried for out lives…everything we went through. We were abandoned, abused and…in love.

I saw tyler cry that day. I could still see his tears as I drifted off into my own world. I didn’t want things to be like this. I wanted to change everything. I wanted to just run away! But as much as my heart wanted to leave it all behind…I knew I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t change out lives.

As I drifted to sleep, I kept thinking, I won’t change this. I can’t…

I probably never will…

…to be continued…