Well, I heard a great suggestion on one of my stories: “25 Things a Perfect Guy Would Do For A Woman.” Which made me think, “What if I actually did write that (with female help, obviously)?” So, I did. And then some more stuff.

Remember every single significant date, (i.e. getting together, 1st kiss, breaking up and getting back together, birthdays, and meeting the parents) and going the whole nine yards: flowers, chocolate, gifts.

Be willing to stay home as many hours a day as possible to be able to answer the phone any time she wants to talk, call frequently, and apologize for missing a call or not calling.

Apologize for everything, even if it isn’t your fault.

She is always right, even if the Supreme Court agrees with you. If, by some freak accident, she is wrong, never, ever mention it.

Obey every single order she gives you while still being masculine and assertive.

Match her clothing at all times for formal occasions.

Do romantic things even when it isn’t time to do them.

Go to any extreme to be with her.

On a first date, if you say you’re going to call, call that day or the next.

Even if you hate the movie that she wants to see, go to it and enjoy it.

Ask for permission for everything, while still being masculine and assertive.

Actually listen to what she has to say, and be prepared to repeat it back to her at any time.

Never make her feel jealous or uncomfortable.

Be able to make her laugh when she’s down.

Don’t be afraid to show affection in public.

Step lightly when she’s PMSing. (Maybe wear a cup, too.)

Comfort her 24/7, with the exception of PMS, of course.

Chocolate is a prescription, as well as her favorite music.

After the two of you…yeah…always be willing to cuddle and talk about it.

Never embarrass her. Be willing to humiliate yourself to make her feel good.

Understand that the word “Because” is a perfectly valid reason.

Understand that if she says, “Go ahead,” with her arms crossed, it means, “Do this, and I’ll castrate you.”

Be willing to give up the remote.

Open doors, buy dinner, and be obscenely romantic without compromising her belief that she is a strong, independent woman, and doesn’t need you.

Always compliment her on her looks.

If she asks you if she looks fat, always say “No.” quickly- but not too quickly.

Wear what she thinks is sexy.

Cooking and cleaning for her is recommended. Make sure the food tastes good.

Offer her your jacket in the cold, even if there are icicles hanging off of you.

Be honest, except about her looks.

Accept all pet names she gives you, even if it’s “Cuddle-Bunny” or “Pookie.”

Insist she won’t turn into her mother, unless, of course, she loves her mother.

Support her in anything she does.

When you’ve had an argument, “I didn’t mean to” is not an excuse.

Be willing to go shopping with her and carry her bags (Yes, that includes a purse.)

Don’t be too pushy.

Be sensitive about when to walk after her after she walks off in a huff.

Anticipate her needs…suppress yours.

If she says “You know why I’m angry at you,” assume that you do, and profoundly apologize.

Get used to the couch. You’ll become familiar with it.

She never snores, even if she does.

Never mention any of her bad qualities.

Remind her that she is the prettiest and most intelligent of her family.

If she cooks it, eat it…no faces.

Appreciate every action she does, and remember it. Tell her that you remember, too.

Be willing and able to dance.

If you bring her flowers, make sure that they’re not from a) her front yard; b) her neighbor’s front yard; c) the cemetery, and make sure that they’re good flowers.

All cards given to her must have thought in them, and be signed with your pet name.

Be nice to her friends, but not in a way that makes her suspicious.

There is “Girl’s Night Out”; however, there is no “Guy’s Night Out.”

What’s yours is hers; and what’s hers is hers.

If you have a plan to meet her for dinner at 5:30, show up at 5.

Always put down the toilet seat after you’re done. Wash your hands and flush, too.

Let her win without looking like you’re trying to.

Always have an idea of something to do when she’s bored that isn’t sex.