Close Your Eyes and Let It All Go

Summary- What could happen to a sweet golden girl? She's fourteen, never been kissed and still the golden girl who have never curse nor miss homework. Lily, who's starting high school in an elite private high school for smart/rich people, is ready to start another peaceful year. Yet Jay, the rich prankster in school got his eyes on Lily. He wants to break through the shell of the golden girl. And find the secret hidden deep inside. But is that all he thinks he wants? Just to help Lily discover herself? Or is there more to that? That even Jay doesn't know? R&R!

"It's happening! It's happening again!" Lily whispered, tears glistering in her watery emerald eyes. It's Reality, the reality that had been almost forgotten.

If Chris hasn't distracted the crowd of angry students, Lily would have been dead meat. If Chris hasn't found the perfect hiding place, Lily would have been lost. If Chris... If Chris didn't save her, she would had been...

Dead. Like she really should be.

Chris turned around, handed her a cup of orange juice and took a cup himself. Sitting calmly down in the sofa in front of the distressed girl, Chris tried to calm her down. Lily, her hair wet from the waters splashed by the students, her clothes dirty and ripped from all the fallings, looks almost to death. It was as if some kind of memory so horrible came back to hunt her. Her eyes... It reflects them. Chris, unable to stop his curiosity and pithiness, reach and stroke her hair.

"Again?" He asked softly, and Lily's pale face looked up. She nodded, and turned around and cried at the pillow she's holding. Chris knew it's time to be patient. Time to be everything that's sweet and nice. Lily hold up her head, as if trying not to cry, her eyes glazed as if remembering, yet her back still toward Chris stared to talk.

"Again. It all begins when I was thirteen years old. Back then, I wasn't as goody-two-shoes as I am now. I don't love to read as much as I do now. I have so many friends it's uncountable. And of course, it's because of my two best friends. We were close beyond words. We were like triplets. We enjoyed our childhood from small; living so close it's almost together. One of them is my dear twin. Lillie. We aren't alike or anything, in fact, we look so different it's impossible to tell we're twins. Yet our names are almost the same. Lillie was the most outgoing one. I was shy. Lillie was the one who attracts attention, who is the best in everything, and also the prettiest. Maybe not now, but back then, she was like a flower, and bees are flying all around her. She made friends first with the other girl. She, brave enough to talk to the beautiful Rosalie next door, was so alike to Rosalie that they became best pals. They might be even being closer than Lillie and me! Lillie looks at me as a baby sister, not a best friend. Best friend? That's Rosalie. They both have that shiny blonde hair; those sparkly blue eyes, and well... They made me their baby sister. They trained me to be active. And accidentally, made me popular. Rosalie and Lillie became jealous. They, themselves want to be popular. Yet they had one problem. They are evil to people who they think are below them. So I became popular. It became like a movie. Rosalie and Lillie seem to be fading away, yet I never forgot them. I always invite them to wherever I went, and they appreciate it though they're still jealous. Then..."

Lily broke off, and took a deep drink of the juice and shook. Chris sat silently, waiting.

“There was a party. And it was at the prettiest place ever. There's this cliff that falls in the beautiful rushing waves. And on the cliff, there are grasses, flowers, trees and a picnic area. Perfect for a party. While I was watching the waves crashing below the cliff, Rosalie came over to talk to me. Suddenly, as we were leaning against the fences, it cracked. Rosalie screamed. She was falling with the fences as it went flying down into the waves and rocky rocks. Everyone came over and watch as she enters her death. No one lift a hand to help her, not that anyone can. At that time, there was panic. Everyone surrounded Lillie and me; they knew we were her best friends. Then the police came."

"They also came to the school. They took me out of class. They asked me for details of what happened. I was with her when she fallen. The police suspected foul play of the fences. They tried to make me remember what the fences were like. I couldn't. And they left disappointed. Soon, a rumor start spreading. People saw polices talking to me. And then everyone suspect me of killing Rosalie."

"Did you?" Chris couldn't help but ask, his fears coming through.

"Of course not! But then theidea seems so real, a girl getting rid of her jealous buddy. It's the simplest solution, the simplest answer to all the chaos. The students accepted it. Everyone did. I became an outcast. And my twin, Lillie, she started to believe them too. Started to lose trust in me. She was closer to Rosalie, and broken-hearted, shealso chosethe easiest way out. Soon I even start believing that I did it. That I caused her death."

"I remember looking into her eyes the whole time she was falling. It's all my fault. I couldn't save her. And she expected it! It was all in her eyes."

"No one could save her!" Chris pointed out.

"But I caused it. I became popular. I invited her to the party. I was talking to her. I was right next to her. I was BORNED! If I wasn't, she'll be living!" Lily screamed, her eyes wide and sad.

"Lily. You can't help that! Your parent made you, they love you!" Chris whispered, his eyes pleading.

"Love me?" Lily asked distastefully. "They hate every bone in me! I was an accident. They only wanted Lillie. She's their perfect little angel! She shines stronger than me. But now, she's turning bad. See if they care! They still think she's aperfect darling!"

"Lily. Isn't that kind of like the book you're reading?" Chris remembered, asking. Lily turned around and gave a small smile.

"Yes. You figure that out. Except there's no Prince Charming, and I'm not an angel." Lily whispered sadly, and then suddenly remembered whom she's talking to. "Chris?!"

Chris looked up at Lily, and was surprised at what he saw. Panic was rising in her eyes, and Lily stood up.

"Leave!! Leave me alone! You're going to tell all you friends and I'm end up worst then now. Everyone is ready to kill me! And now you're coming to spill it ALL!" Lily shouted, nervous and forgetting who saved her.

"Lily!" Chris pleaded. "I saved you!" Lily softens and then looked stern.

"Please. Chris. Leave. I need time alone." Lily whispered softly and Chris nodded, understanding. Reaching over, Chris gave her a gentle hug and end up surprised. Lily had just brushed him a sweet soft kiss on his cheek.

"Thanks." Lily murmured and pushes him gently out.

Lily made sure no one is outside, and locked the door. Crying softly, she made herself go to sleep.

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"I can't believe you! Of all the people in the world, you decided to protect her?! She's trash! Hear that? TRASH!" Jay yelled, walking around Chris's dorm. Kicking the chair that's in front of him, Jay glared at Chris who's sitting calmly on the bed.

"You don't understand. She has been through a lot. And you, coming to destroy her life once more!" Chris replied angrily back, his eyes showing annoyed.

Jay shook with anger, his eyes bright and filled with flashed of jealously and guilt. He knew Chris was right. Jay just couldn't help himself. It's a new girl, pretty and golden. What could be cuter than that? Jay just had to annoy her.

But the problem is Chris. Jay knew he shouldn't be angry with him; in fact, he should appreciate him for saving Lily. Yet Jay couldn't brush away the jealously bubbling inside in. And the guilt.

"You know what? If you can't be human for once, can't be kind, can't be GENTLEMAN, then there is no friendship between us. Look what you did to Lily. There aren't just physical pains; there were pains deeper than that! There are pains in her heart. Someone had stabbed it, and you're another one who did it as well!" Chris continued angrily, knowing perfectly well he's breaking a friendship that was the strongest. He's breaking the friendship that took years to build it up. He had just broken the ties that ledback to their babyhood.

"Disappear from my sight. You're not worth all these attention. It's a surprise why people love you." Chris finished sadly, disappointment racking inside him. Turning away, not wanting to watch Jay left the room; Chris hoped he had done the right thing. He hoped Jay had been brought to his senses.

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Jay sat gloomy in the common room. His knee up to his chest, his eyes glazed, leaning back to the wall, Jay was thinking. Thinking about a girl, something he hadn't done for a long time.

He tried to forget the glares from a certain emerald-eyed girl near by. He tried to forget the whispering of secret plans and the pointed stares at Lily. He tried to close his hearing and visionary.

Then Cheryl entered the common room. Her eyes shining with anticipation, Cheryl rushed toward Jay. And Jay could spy Lily hurriedly took her stuff and rushed upstairs, definitely to her dorm room, into hiding, from the corner of his eyes.

"Lily's dead now." Cheryl smiled evilly, looking at the running Lily. "Everyone wants to kill her." Jay just nodded sadly, and Cheryl suddenly looked angry.

"You're pitying her?! Don't you understand? She needs to be dead. She ruined the friendship that was maintained for so many years. She tricked you best friend onto her side. She acts out the innocent side to try to gain helpers. And she even got some ofyour fans to hate you! She's destroying your popularity!" Cheryl reminded him with strong motives. Jay looked up; his lips tighten with every word. Then Cheryl threw Jay a newspaper. Jay read out the article on the front page.

"Innocent As You Think, by Anne Gilder." Jay started to read, his eyes growing rounder as he read on. "Lily. She's the new student in this school. Fifteen, beautiful and golden, she might be the dream girl ever. However, if she really that innocent? She broke up the friendships between Chris and Jay, two of our stars. She even broke the school in half! Students are still confused on whom to follow. And someone else stepped into the problem as well! Our sly yet handsome Dan is also leading a team. Dan started a new group, 'The Anti-Poor'. He's ready to take over clueless Jay's place. To become the star of the school and destroy Lily, as the majority of the students wants. Now more about our new star, Dan..." Jay ended bluntly, annoyed and angry. "How dare Lily made me unpopular!"

"Exactly!" Cheryl added, her grin forming.

"Oh! We'll make her pay. We'll make Lily pay so much it'll destroy her. And I could still be the star, not the idiotic Dan!" Jay decided, his eyes stubborn.

Unknown to the couple, a pair of large chocolate brown eyes was glaring reproaching at them.

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Lily braced herself. She's going back to her real life. Not the fantasy in her book, not the dream she dreamed. She knew today is going to be horrible. She knew that since the attack last week. Of course the Headmaster doesn't know. Who in the world would dare to tell him anyways? But he suspected and thinks Lily's sick, so gave her a week off.

Grabbing her backpack, she quickly walked into the hallways to class, trying to ignore all the stares and glares. Lily tried to hide in the shadows, trying to make herself invisible. Ever since the article by Anne Gilder appeared, Jay had been especially cold toward her, although he was cold to her already anyway.

"Lily! Wait up!" A familiar voice called, Lily turned toward the voice, and felt safe for the first time during this week. It's kind of embarrassing however; after all, Lily broke Chris and Jay's long strong friendship. And even weaken the one between Alex and Jay.

"Hi Chris." Lily whispered and they start walking silently toward their class. Then Chris stopped at the entrance of the door.

"Lily. There's something you have to understand about Jay. His life is hard! Just like you... His popularity in this school helps him push away those memories! Give him a chance." Chris said plead, trying to make Lily understand.

"No. How can I give him a chance after all he had done? I already gave him more than a chance." Lily said sadly, walking past Chris and into the classroom.

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Jay stared. The lecture the Professor is giving was so boring everyone is half sleeping. But not Lily. She's busy. Her left hand covering the piece of looseleaf, her right hand scribbling across the paper, Lily's busy writing notes.

Jay tried to pull his eyes from the beautiful girl. Wait! Beautiful?! Jay gave a start, blinked.

No. I wasn't thinking about how beautiful Lily is... I'm... I'm just looking for something to tease her about. Yes... That's it! It's for teasing! Jay thought worriedly, then relaxed.

Lily isn't beautiful now. Not today. Not these eyes are wide yet fearful. Dark shading under her eyes proved her restless sleeping. Her hair, although fruitlessly tried to be comb into brightness lay dead. Yet Jay though she looked like an angel.

Jay's eyes stray back to Lily's head. And unknowing, he start wondering about the green-eyed mystery girl.

Chris, luckily, happened to glance at Jay and smiled. Maybe the war would be over before it even started!

I updated! And this might be the only update for a while. After all, 2005 is approaching. And it brings difficulties! Thanks for the reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter... It sure is a gloomy one...

.:Next:.

More about Jay's problem at home.

"Payback Is So Sweet..."

"In love with the enemy? Ha!"

"Is this Lily's home?"

...and more... come back here l8ter to see more previews of the next chapter. Not done, so expect more quotes!

Love you people for the reviews!